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Forum LockedWould you report your friend?
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KirstyO View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 June 2011
Location: Whakatane
Points: 66 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KirstyO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2012 at 8:59pm

Originally posted by jazzy jazzy wrote:

Firstly why is Paul going to anger management classes?
Does he beat Sarah?

Secondly was it a tap or a smack & what part of the body was it on & was it on bare skin? Not in anyway saying it is acceptable but want to know more before I put my option in.

Hi Jazzy

Paul doesn't hit Sarah, but hes come close to it a few times.  Small things set him off easily and Sarah was concerned about it, now that they have baby.  So Sarah asked him to go & he agreed.

It was an open-handed smack on baby's thigh - she was sitting in her car capsule at the time.  It was bare skin and was a bit red afterwards.

 


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KirstyO View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 June 2011
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Points: 66 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KirstyO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2012 at 9:15pm

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, its really good reading different viewpoints and opinions. 

I talked with Sarah - she is devastated and feels like she has to choose between 2 people she loves.  But she wants to give him a chance and is hoping the am classes and upcoming parenting course will help him.  We talked about letting CYFs know of our concerns and that they would likely help them in their parenting.  But she is really struggling with 'getting him in trouble' and 'being in the CYFs system' as she believes he wont do it again and is working toward being a better Dad.

I really think that their 4 month old needs to be protected tho.  She can't protect herself.  So I'm gonna hold off for now, but keep a close eye on them.  And Sarah knows I'll be 'spying' and is happy with that.  She agreed that if anything happens again we'll let someone know.

What a tough situation.  Argh.


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jazzy View Drop Down
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Joined: 16 January 2009
Points: 8858 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jazzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 January 2012 at 9:08am
Kirsty I think you have done a fantastic job by getting involved & telling them you are going to do what is best for the baby.

I can understand her concern about having the authorities involved but if the father is not coping & taking it out on he baby then they really do need outside help.

Its a tough situation for all to be in but that baby is the number one concern.

Too many people would look away & not get involved & because you did the situation may be a lot different now...always go with your gut feeling.
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KirstyO View Drop Down
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Joined: 20 June 2011
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Points: 66 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KirstyO Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 January 2012 at 9:14am

Thanks Jazzy, and everyone else, for the support

 


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EmDee View Drop Down
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Waikato
Points: 4407 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EmDee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 January 2012 at 9:16am
Originally posted by KirstyO KirstyO wrote:

What a tough situation.  Argh.



Agreed! Very tough situation, but I think you are handling it really well by talking to them, letting them know what you plan to do and that you will be keeping an eye on them.
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_Soda_ View Drop Down
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Joined: 03 August 2008
Location: Auckland, NZ
Points: 4435 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote _Soda_ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 January 2012 at 12:12pm
wow you are an amazing, amazing friend for being so upfront with them, and its great your friend does understand- although its awful for her, but by being so honest and putting the child first, im sure she knows you will support her in doing whats best for baby. i think you are totally doing the right thing hun too many people turn a blind eye when things like this happens, its so nice to know there are people out there who are advocates for our children and not afraid to speak up.
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Aroha11 View Drop Down
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Joined: 09 October 2010
Points: 630 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Aroha11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 January 2012 at 12:16pm
Hope it all works out - I would like to say thank you to you for keeping an eye out for the baby and Sarah you seem like an amazing friend and that you and Sarah have a great friendship that you can discuss the situation together.

We do need more people out in the community keeping an eye on the children and others who are in difficult situations.
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