Fertility Clinic Waiting Rm vs Children

I am currently working with a Fertility Clinic. I have had 3 mc's - the first was from a natural conception (at 6 weeks), the 2nd from my first IUI with the FClinic (at 6 weeks), and the 3rd from my 3rd IUI with the FClinic (at 13 weeks).

I have just had my 4th IUI and it is negative. I am about to undergo my 5th, and at the moment my visits are more frequent due to all the monitoring I have.

It's completely demoralising going through all of this. But what is making it really worse for me, and my partner, is when we sit in the waiting room at the Clinic and there is a happy couple in there with a baby or young child. My guess is that they are there because they want another child, and perhaps the first was conceived with help from the Clinic. So wouldn't you think that these parents would and SHOULD be a bit more sympathetic to those of us who CAN'T conceive or see a pregnancy through? I am just baffled by this!

If I had a child, and wanted another and was visiting the FERTILITY CLINIC, I would arrange a babysitter for that time! It's not a DOCTOR'S SURGERY or the DENTIST'S, it's a FERTILITY CLINIC so I think people should be a bit more courteous.

Maybe these people conceived and carried through to the end on their first attempt and don't know what it's like for those of us who can't get any joy either way.

But SURELY common sense should prevail? It's not always easy to guess other people's situations, but there are two words that should spell it out quite simply...

FERTILITY CLINIC

I am interested in other people's thoughts

Edited by MaebeeBaby

I am sure they weren't intending to be 'intentionally mean' but I still think it's a bit of a 'rub it in our face' kind of situation. I can't even visit one of my SIL's cause her baby is 10 weeks old, and I lost my last one 8 weeks ago. And my other SIL is 24 weeks preg, and if I was still preg I would be 20 weeks. I go to the supermarket, shopping malls, stores and KNOW I will bump into mothers and babies, but that's expected, I go there to SHOP. I don't expect to be in that situation at a Fertility Clinic, that's where I go to sort out MY fertility, so it's a one-focus situation that I can't avoid by going into a different aisle or shop to get away from it if it bothers me.

I do understand what you are saying but honestly, if it were me, I would hire a babysitter just for that short time, or make my appointment while my child was in childcare, or when a friend could babysit (they do do after hours consults). Please don't think I am picking on your friend, I am not, and I know everyone's circumstances are different, but I just think it's very insensitive taking a baby to a Fertility Clinic given that the Clinic is for people who are having problems with FERTILITY.

Perhaps these Clinics should have a 'parents room' set aside for parents who just can't find anyone to care for their child for that hour. Perhaps I will suggest it!


Edited by MaebeeBaby

Peanut I don't think you are attacking me personally. But I do think I AM being reasonable when it is a FERTILITY clinic involved. I don't know which way to look, and I am fighting back tears while trying to engross myself in a magazine because there is no escape until I get my appointment called! I feel like a trapped animal would.

Sorry to hear about your loss, I can imagine you feel as I do when I see my SIL who is 4 weeks more pregnant than I 'would' be at the moment and also my other SIL who has a 10 week old baby and I lost mine 8 weeks ago - (((hugs))) to you over this one.

The last visit I had was at 4.45pm and they shut at 5.30pm unless by prior arrangement for a later appointment... another was at 11.30am... I am afraid there is no escaping it but I think I will suggest a parent's room, or even if there are children in there perhaps I can request a waiting room away from them somehow. It's just too hard for me at the moment, time will heal but I haven't had the time yet.

I also attend a fertility support group and there are many people there who feel this way so maybe we should ask the organisers of this support group to contact the Clinic and explain our concerns/feelings.

Edited by MaebeeBaby

Thank you KH25 for understanding - I really do wish you the very best of luck. I have had 2 of my mc's this year, I can't even comprehend how hard 3 mc's would have been. (((Hugs))) to you and your family and I hope your next preg is a full-term healthy one :)

I am really sorry to say this, but people who have one child and are desperate for another also suffer great pain and suffering. The fact they are in a fertility specialist waiting room reinforces that.
People have babies every day, and although you are struggling to conceive it is something you need to accept. Just as I have accepted it when I am struggling. Also, you don't know what efforts they have gone through to have that first child. It may have been years of trying and treatment, and they are gong through all the pain a second time to give their child a chance to have a brother and sister.

I have been trying to get pregnant with my second child for a year now. and if I go to see a specialist (which I think I will do soon), I will take my son with me as my family and friends all work during the day. I will not be doing it to be vindicitve, it is just practical.

.

Edited by MaebeeBaby

.

Edited by MaebeeBaby

yes the clinic should be more aware, maybe its not practical though. Have you voiced your concerns to them?

I struggle a bit when I see babies full stop, but I have to admit I don't'mind seeing them in the FA waiting rooms any more than I do anywhere else...

Actually, it gives me a bit of a lift in some ways - chances are that the parents struggled to have those kids, and proves that it's possible. That might not make entire sense (after all, they could be struggling with secondary infertility, the first could have been an oopsie for all I know), but I do assume that a bit.

When I have a baby, I'd take it along when we're trying for another one. I know its tough to see wee ones when you're struggling - hey, I'm there right now, I know how hard it is!! - but as I see it, that struggle is pretty much just life, and other people shouldn't have to re-arrange their lives round ours to quite that extent...

Edited by Hopes