What would you do differently next time?

I didn't do things by the book with Jack but I did have a crap sleeper and also feel like I missed some things as life revolved around his non sleep. I think it helped contribute to my PND

I have been a little more relaxed with Ben regarding sleep and other things

i had a great sleeper first time and did all the 'right' things so was fairly confident number 2 would be ok too.

haha. the gods must have been laughing.

DS2 is not the worlds best sleeper and i can see how easy it would be to make that your life. I chose not to and just accept that most days 45 mins is as good as it gets so go with that and just carry on. I do sometimes try and extend naps if it suits our routine etc and i think he really needs it and nowadays i have some success with this.

My advice would be to accept the child you get and not get too hung up on what you can't change. Some kids need more sleep and some need less and there's precious little you can do to influence them either way - esp in the early days.

I often hold DS2 to sleep if he needs a second 45min to make a longer nap - never did with DS1 - but when i do it is a choice i make so i sit down and enjoy watching him sleep and read a book etc.

tbh having a short napper has been a godsend as it means we can still go out to DS1's playgroups etc as DS2 sleeps just as well out in pram/capsule/sling/my arms as at home in bed. A friend had a great second sleeper and she is stuck in the house cos he's sleeping 2-3 hours and her toddler is climbing the walls with boredom.

I mostly raised my first born (McKayla) (till this point) the way that I wanted too. There is a few things that I let slide that I shouldn't in regards with family etc.

But second time around the biggest change is that I don't feel the need to defend the choices that we are making where with McKayla I had to keep on explaining what and why we are doing it and got very defensive. This time I do'nt even inform. If someone ask I say and if they are not willing to accept it then I just leave it. Their problem not mine.

Pretty much everything!

Use birth control! lol...   nah sorry

But seriously.

Mrs_B wrote: Linzy wrote: d also feel like I missed some things as life revolved around his non sleep. I think it helped contribute to my PND Ditto Can I ask, did you get PND with Ben?

I think I had PND from when Jack was born/little but it wasn't officially diagnosed until Ben was about 4wks old.
I came from a job where I knew what I was doing, confident in my ability and organised. I then became a SAHM to Jack who never read the books and didn't do what babies were "supposed" to do. I was so worried about what I "should" be doing because he didn't seem to be doing all the things that my CG babies were doing i.e. sleeping! I lost confidence in myself.
This time I have tried to be a bit more relaxed and go with the flow, it works sometimes!

Next time I would:

listen to my gut about my midwife and not be afraid to change

discuss the whole birth thing so everyone is clear about what is important to me

not push for an induction (what was I thinking!!??)

ask for help and support a lot earlier from wherever I could

arrange an au pair for the first 3mths if I could

arrange time for myself earlier on

In terms of my parenting decisions - I am really happy with all the decisions I've made and he's responded really well. No babies are easy or perfect but he's pretty good so fingers crossed next time I'm just as lucky!

I will swaddle and use the happiest baby on the block tips. But on the whole I won't per sue the holy grail of sleep.

I will do my best to get a good sleep pattern but if it doesn't work I won't beat myself up about it and I won't let anyone else make me feel bad that my baby doesn't sleep through the night. The competition to have the best sleeper is one I won't be playing :)

On the whole I will just relax and try and take it in my stride and not stress. But I will get more help so that I can get more sleep and not get myself in the horrendous sleep deprived state I was in before.

Apart from that I think I've done a good job so far :)

disco:)

Hopefully the next baby will be a brilliant sleeper! But if not, I'll go with the flow and do what works for us, and not worry about why my baby doesn't "follow the rules"!

I made a very conscoius decison to have a wonderful natural birth with #2, and put a lot of effort into achieving this.
I also have found Im more confident with they way we choose to do stuff, and dont Q our decisons as much, or feel the need to defend them as much. It has a lot to do with Aiden being #2, but also him being an easier baby - with #1 everyone offered us all sorts of conflicting advise cos she was so unsettled for so long, and cos nothing worked, I always felt I was doing something wrong, so was never confident in my parenting abilities.
This time I have realised that all babies are diff, and just cos someone elses baby is doing something "better" doesnt mean Im doing something wrong - Ive realised that so much of what babies are like comes down to their personality, even at a very young age!

If we have #3 I would research more into not pushing during labour, as even tho I had a completely natural birth,my body took at least 6 weeks to start really recovering from the pushing.