Which one do you deal with first?

My older two are at the stage of fighting physically with each other. Gia is a biter & a pincher & Rico likes to trip Gia over or hit her, & take her toys off her.

So when they've been at it & one of them has been hurt by the other & is crying, which one do you deal with first? The one whose been hurt, or the bully? I tend to pick up/cuddle the hurt one, & tell off the one that's done the bullying, but then tend to leave the hurt one quickly in order to discipline the bully by taking them to their room, or getting down to them & telling them off, then going back to the crying one which by then has almost forgotten about the incident. But i feel bad that I haven't been there to properly comfort the one that been's hurt, especially if they were hurt badly. But I don't want to spend 5 mins or so comforting the hurt one while the bully is thinking they've gotten away with it, & then it's too late to discipline them.

Sound silly?

Edited by Italiah

At Andrew's preschool they ignore the bully and all the attention goes on the victim so that the bully doesn't get any attention at all. Then after the victim is settled they go to the bully and get the to say sorry.

Depending on age I will quickly tell the one that did the hurting to go to his bedroom and you will deal with him later then cuddle the one that was hurt. After you make sure he is okay and cuddling I will deal with the one that did the hurting. This way you should have calmed down by then to deal with it a bit more rationally. Plus it gives that child a chance to reflect on what he did and he isnt getting any attention from it at all.

Yeah I get what you mean james. I guess I'd feel better myself comforting the hurt one first, instead of feeling guilty for dealing with the bully, then the victim.