Cuddles

She is still so little lots of cuddles are not going to cause bad habits at this age. I think babies need lots of cuddles, and sometimes when they cry they might just need a bit of a cuddle

Ive always given Caden LOTS of cuddles and he isnt a clingy boy, he does his own thing and he has always settled himself

Visitors will always want to cuddle the baby, cos they dont se bubs everyday, so I wouldnt worry about that

Edited by Sheza

I cuddle Sam every time he cries because at his age he hardly ever actually wants to stop what he is doing to give me a cuddle so I have to get them somehow!   

I figure, they are only little for such a short time and being a mum means you can cuddle them anytime you want to, and for me I feel like I am there to provide that cuddling service for when he is upset or needs me.

And IMO, I don't feel that cuddling them when they are upset means they will be clingy when they are older.

I think more cuddles more secure and independent child. You need to make a child feel safe and secure and give them somewhere to be comforted when the big bad world gives them a slap in the face otherwise they will never want to go and explore it. IMO anyway.
I have cuddled mine heaps, just cos I want to, but when Spencer gets hurt one of 4 things happens, either he is upset and will come to me for a cuddle, or he is only a little upset and I will ask if he wants a cuddle and sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't, other times he just shakes it off and sometimes whatever he does is so bad I just run over and scoop him up.


I agree with neeandsam, once they are on the move they don't stop for cuddles, or very rarely anyway. Make the most of it while she is little and you can.

Same here cuppatea and as much as I hate seeing Sam hurt himself or be upset, I LOVE being his whole world, and the one he turns to when he needs a cuddle (except for when nana is around and I am invisible!) It makes me feel special and it makes him feel safe and secure knowing that I will always be there for him and he can come to me for comfort and reassurance.

minik8e wrote: it just depends on what kind of cry it is.

I agree with this, you have to learn her cries.

A wee hint:
Babies are not biologically able to rationalize anything, all they can think of is emotions. So if she's hungry, you cannot expect her to think, "it's ok, mum's coming soon. I'll just wait happily." If she hears your voice, and can attach that to her needs being met, it will calm her down however.

They say that if you have a clingy baby, they are the least likely to be clingy when they are a bit older, because they KNOW that IF they need you you will be there. So they are more likely to go and try out new things etc.

Hope that helps....

I do worry about that too but then I think that my son will learn to be a more trusting loving baby if he knows that his needs will be met. Otherwise, he might not learn to trust anyone and become more clingy IYKWIM.

for goodness sake, what is the world coming to when new mums dont even think they can cuddle their babys....

i wondered if you were serious when i first read this. and even my husband laughed!

insecurity would be more of a reason to be clingy, not a happy cuddled child!

Just from an adults perspective:

I have come from a family that didn't cuddle much, my father is from London and their family were very reserved and cold.

In turn, I am quite an unaffectionate and cold person by nature, as is my father.   My father has seen what this has done to his children and over the last few years he has made himself available to us, giving us a hug when he sees us, trying to be a little more open and affectionate with us and although it is nice, we do not have a close relationship.   I don't actually like people touching me or cuddling me, I find it incredibly overwhelming and all a bit 'too much'.

So I make sure I cuddle Sam whenever he needs me because I want him to be able to come to me for the rest of our lives, knowing that I am there, I understand, I will reassure him, provide guidance and security. Hopefully we will have a close relationship when he is older and that he likes cuddles and affection and doesn't feel overwhelmed by them like I do.

Sorry that was a bit rambly, and I'm not trying to say that you are a cold person or that you are unaffectionate as I don't know you, I'm just telling you my story.

Edited by neeandsam

Ditto to neeandsam, We do not hug, kiss or show emotion in my family and i find it hard now in adult life. So i cuddle my wee man lots and lots. Even though now he just squirms away and doesnt want cuddles :(

Bizzy wrote: for goodness sake, what is the world coming to when new mums dont even think they can cuddle their babys.... i wondered if you were serious when i first read this. and even my husband laughed! insecurity would be more of a reason to be clingy, not a happy cuddled child!

I think there are now so many books and so many child care "experts" that question and analyse everything that we innately do as parents and while they can be helpful, they can also be a real PITA and create a lot of pressure on parents - the whole "your baby must learn how to sleep by themselves from the first day of hospital", my MIL's favourite "don't create a rod for your own back" brought me to tears when I was first trying to get Daniel to sleep.