none of my children would have gone and stayed at either grandparents house at 4 weeks old as they were both still breastfeed (and I couldnt express much anyway) and they lived at least 2 to 3 hours drive away.
sometimes I wish my dad and my inlaws did live closer but even if they did I wouldnt expect them to have a 4 week old over night, maybe if my husband and I had wanted to go out to dinner then one of them would stay here at our house while we went out for a couple of hours.
I was lucky in that my husband was able to have 4-5 weeks off with both children so when the baby wasnt settling he could take over while I rested.
to be honest I find my 4 year old harder work now than when she was a baby (thank goodness for kindy lol)
You're going to be a wonderful Mum, LuckyRed, I really don't doubt that. From what I've seen of you, you both value your future child(ren!) and will do the best you can. On the other hand, when you are that wonderful Mum, you're going to do things you never thought you would do. It might not be leaving a four-week old with family for the night, but trust me, they'll happen. I do laugh a little at the way I judged other Mums before I'd been there done that, and regret that I did (and will probably feel the same way over the thoughts I have about other people's three-year-olds, I'm willing to bet).
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