How best to support someone starting IVF

Hi :)

I'm one of the very lucky ones to have a precious little baby, we have no "angel babies" and did not have to spend too long trying - although I thought it would be hard for us?

Anyway, currently I have a couple sets of friends undergoing/about to start IVF... I just want to know... what did you find best in support from people when you were undergoing it?

It's so hard to relate to the feelings they must have. It becomes really hard to talk about it - because we have our bouncing "bundle of joy" and they don't. Kinda makes me feel it's all a bit unfair? Argh... I dunno...

Any tips would be appreciated :)

I agree, just be then when and if they need to talk. Have been through IVF myself. I wasn't one to talk about it at the time but know others do like someone to talk to.

Hey amalyse, somebody recently had a very similar post in the 'Coping with Infertility' thread, here is the link Hope it works!

As others have said, you are being a great friend for wanting to know/understand better what your friends are going through and how to support them.

I'd say be honest with them, tell them that you are thinking of them and sometimes when you are having a hard day you don't feel like you have the right to 'complain' to them because you realise that your hard day is nothing compared to what they are going through...at least that way your friends will know that that you are being very considerate, and so they might encourage you to be more open and feel free to rant about your own 'issues'. When we're going through IVF we do feel that some people do not realise how fortunate they are, but it doesn't mean we don't appreciate that others are finding it hard to dela with a screaming teething bubs or just feeling exhausted from looking after a little one all day... it's just putting things into perspective and knowing that we all look after our friends no matter what situation they are in.

There are some good links in the thread above, hope you find them useful =)

Thanks for that :) It's been good to read...

It's a different kind of difficulty after having a child - something that's so hard to anticipate prior, one that I guess they would love to have... I remember when we were starting to kinda try and the pains of jealousy I would have seeing pregnant women or women with small babies and wondering how they could possibly be so upset or frustrated when they were so blessed?! I guess I need to take myself back to that place.

One thing I could do with is learning the lingo - just googling now... all these signatures have me confused....