How best to support someone starting IVF
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39550
Printed Date: 25 August 2025 at 2:09pm
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Topic: How best to support someone starting IVF
Posted By: amalyse
Subject: How best to support someone starting IVF
Date Posted: 12 June 2011 at 6:25pm
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Hi :)
I'm one of the very lucky ones to have a precious little baby, we have no "angel babies" and did not have to spend too long trying - although I thought it would be hard for us? Anyway, currently I have a couple sets of friends undergoing/about to start IVF... I just want to know... what did you find best in support from people when you were undergoing it? It's so hard to relate to the feelings they must have. It becomes really hard to talk about it - because we have our bouncing "bundle of joy" and they don't. Kinda makes me feel it's all a bit unfair? Argh... I dunno... Any tips would be appreciated :) ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: babycrazy
Date Posted: 12 June 2011 at 7:03pm
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Hi - sorry I don't have many tips aside from just being there when they need to talk (I've had a friend go through IVF).
But what I wanted to say is these people have you wonderful friend in you. By wanting to know how to support them shows that you care and want to do the right thing. All the best. ------------- TTC since Oct 2009 4 x DI's failed IVF1 CP & MC IVF2 CP IVF3 Angel baby born 22.3wks |
Posted By: oscarboo
Date Posted: 12 June 2011 at 7:07pm
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I agree, just be then when and if they need to talk. Have been through IVF myself. I wasn't one to talk about it at the time but know others do like someone to talk to. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  
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Posted By: amalyse
Date Posted: 12 June 2011 at 7:09pm
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Thanks - it's really hard...
I don't want to complain to them about anything about being a parent as we have this precious gift. I feel like I have to talk about how wonderful it is! It's very eggshell walking :( Probably more me than them though! -------------
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Posted By: SunshineWife
Date Posted: 13 June 2011 at 8:54am
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Hey amalyse, somebody recently had a very similar post in the 'Coping with Infertility' thread, here is the http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=39255&PN=2 - link Hope it works!
As others have said, you are being a great friend for wanting to know/understand better what your friends are going through and how to support them. I'd say be honest with them, tell them that you are thinking of them and sometimes when you are having a hard day you don't feel like you have the right to 'complain' to them because you realise that your hard day is nothing compared to what they are going through...at least that way your friends will know that that you are being very considerate, and so they might encourage you to be more open and feel free to rant about your own 'issues'. When we're going through IVF we do feel that some people do not realise how fortunate they are, but it doesn't mean we don't appreciate that others are finding it hard to dela with a screaming teething bubs or just feeling exhausted from looking after a little one all day... it's just putting things into perspective and knowing that we all look after our friends no matter what situation they are in. There are some good links in the thread above, hope you find them useful =) ------------- Me 27, DH 25 (MFI) IVF + ICSI March '11 BFN and no frosties |
Posted By: amalyse
Date Posted: 13 June 2011 at 7:34pm
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Thanks for that :) It's been good to read...
It's a different kind of difficulty after having a child - something that's so hard to anticipate prior, one that I guess they would love to have... I remember when we were starting to kinda try and the pains of jealousy I would have seeing pregnant women or women with small babies and wondering how they could possibly be so upset or frustrated when they were so blessed?! I guess I need to take myself back to that place. One thing I could do with is learning the lingo - just googling now... all these signatures have me confused.... -------------
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Posted By: amalyse
Date Posted: 13 June 2011 at 7:44pm
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Thanks for that :) It's been good to read...
It's a different kind of difficulty after having a child - something that's so hard to anticipate prior, one that I guess they would love to have... I remember when we were starting to kinda try and the pains of jealousy I would have seeing pregnant women or women with small babies and wondering how they could possibly be so upset or frustrated when they were so blessed?! I guess I need to take myself back to that place. One thing I could do with is learning the lingo - just googling now... all these signatures have me confused.... -------------
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