Home help after having a baby

DH took 2 weeks off, but as I spent 5 days in birthcare, the first week was pretty much spend there. In the 2nd week he went into work a few times for a few hours at a time.

Although my mum / brother live about 25mins away, there werent much help....mum did pop over quite a lot in the first couple of weeks and when she was here she would put a load of washing on, but no-one ever brought us a meal. In fact when people did come and visit - I would end up making sandwiches etc for them. Grrrrr!!! I am still pretty "bitter" that I gotr zero support from friends.....no one ever came over just to make me a cuppa even!!! Dhs family live down country, so didnt expect the ILs to be able to support in any way, but my own family would pretty crap too!!

ETA - its an interesting thought about whether more support = less likely to get PND. I think if I had got more support then I would have been more likely to try and bf for longer, which would def have helped with preventing the PND. I think I put an awful lot of pressure on myself to "just get on with it"....mainly as I had no choice.....but think that the pressure I put on myself was unreasonable in hindsight.

 

Edited by SimSam

Awwww Sam, I would have come over to make you a cuppa ... but then you probably wouldn't have appreciated the germy gremlins invading your space

I definitely think lack of support factored hugely in my getting PND, from the fact that I had undiagnosed antenatal depression and anxiety that should have been picked up by my m/w, GP, OB or any number of other health professionals I was involved with at the time (altho I was very good at hiding it) right thru to the physical demands of caring for two babies who fed badly, screamed loudly and didn't sleep. Even one night a week of unbroken sleep might have been enough to break the cycle.

i had a c section and was in hospital for 5 days, my mum lives an hour and a half away but she came over and had to go back on the day i went home and my partner couldnt take time off and he doesnt live with me, i live with my dad who couldnt take time off either9not that i excpted him to) so when my mum went home i cryed i was so scared i had this little baby to look after all by myself! but i was lucky to have an easy baby and it all turned out good in the end my mum would come over once a week for first few weeks and people helped out wear they could

Dh took two weeks off work. Thats all the help I got. He cant cook so it was up to me to cook as soon as I got out of hospital. It was also school holidays so it was pretty hard having her at home as I couldnt get any sleep. I cant help but feel envious of your friend too!

BTW - My best friend had a baby 4 weeks ago. When I went to visit her i asked how long hes sleeping during the night and she said "Im not sure, my sister gets up to the baby"

I dont even think we got a cooked meal or even a cake from anybody!

We came home from the hosp 4 hrs after A was born and had a lovely 2 weeks with DP at home getting to know our wee bubba.

Everything went down hill when my Mum arrived for week 3 and DP went back to work. Mum had absolutely no advice, and while she cooked she made such a mess of the kitchen DP and I were constantly wiping down the fridge door and the drawer handles, taps etc, and Mum was always stressing about what to have for the next meal - I just told her to got and look in the freezer and see what was there, but she wanted to go to the supermarket EVERY day (and I had to take her!) Arrrrgh - and she moaned about her own problems - seriously!!!

Mum stayed a week, afterwhich I was left to my own devices.

Some neighbours brought over dinners which was lovely, and friends bought baking, which was also much appreciated.