Getting pregnant as a single woman?

Hi everyone,

I'm just wondering if there's anyone here with experience or knowledge of having a baby as a single woman using donor sperm.

I'm aware of the logistics, but would just like some opinions on what it's actually like and whether it's a good path to go down or not.

Thanks :)

There is a lady at our playgroup who has done this too.

You've got to be kidding me Empty Vessel? You're actively encouraging someone to conceive a baby with a man she doesn't know without his knowledge?? I'm not sure if that is the sort of advice Dottie was looking for.

Dottie, I have a friend who got quite far down the track in the process before pulling out. The fertility specialists were really helpful however there was quite a long waiting list for the donor sperm. Good luck!

i said would she consider. and a was hinting a joke. I guess it got lost in translation from thoughts to written text.
in which case sorry, but god you take what you want to read and jump with it.

Edited by EmptyVessel

A lady I got to know when she was 8months preg planned her baby via the "old drunk spunk method" (friends with benefits aparently he knows she was not on any contraception and waived all duties as fatherhood but was happy for her if she got pregnant etc nothing done by lawyers etc) and she was 34 and really wanted a baby couldnt wait to get married blah blah.

She said she has found single motherhood far far more difficult than she expected (she was an nanny/ECE reliever) and esp since she has had a boy and rants on about how he needs male role models etc and says if she knew what she knew now how difficult and trying mother hood was she wouldnt of gotten pregnant on purpose as a single woman, she has no siblings and only her dad in town. She finds budgeting on the benefit really hard. gets $500 and rent is $230 a week

He is now 6 and she hasnt told him who his Biological father is (cos she has lost contact) and he thinks her new bf is his daddy and will not tell him the truth. I dont think this is fair to him and dont agree with her waiting until he is 10 to tell him

anyway totally different but I think any mum who plans to be a solo mum needs to really really talk to other solo mums to see the pros/cons

i've done it dottie! best decision i ever made :) what it's actually like - not as hard as people make it sound. two of my friends live with me, and they both adore the baby and help out in small ways.

ie- i have a standing (free!) babysitting arrangement with one of them for every thursday night. so i can go out for dinner, movies etc. a lot more than what some people in a relationship get!!!

i remember someone saying once that it's easier to be a single parent than to be in an unsupportive relationship, or one where you're looking after your partner in some way. it's so true.

Thanks everyone for your replies!

It's still just a thought at the moment, I can afford to wait a couple more years before starting the process. I guess I just want to keep it in mind as an option, in case I don't meet the right guy.

Your replies have given me lots to think about and thanks for being so supportive :)

Although I realise that you will have thought about this carefully, I would like to give the Childs perspective.

I didn't know my father growing up - he was effectively a sperm donor.

I really struggled with not knowing my dad, especially because we barely got by on the DPB, and I always had this notion that my dad was rich. I used to imagine he was a prince or a wealthy business man. I used to dream of the day that he would come and find me and marry my mum. I'd get my own horse and we would live in a house which didn't have a leaky roof, we would always have plenty of food and I wouldn't need to worry that my mum would be lonely when I left home.

I met my dad when I was 23, just two years ago. My dad is wonderful, funny, kind, funnily enough he is rich, and he also has four other children and a wonderful marriage of 24 years.

I had a happy outcome with my father - but I would still never do this to a child of mine, it hurt too much wondering all the time if my dad cared, if he thought about me, if he loved me, if he had other children and did he love them more than me.

My older brother didn't have such a happy result - our dad dated his mum, but left after she fell pregnant, much the same as how he left my mum - he met our dad when he was in his teens, and they quickly fell out. My brother felt hurt and forgotten, he expected more than our dad was able to give. They don't talk and this breaks my heart as they look the same.

I am not saying a child needs two parents, but I do believe that any child needs to know where and who they came from, and that this can be very difficult to manage in a way that works for all involved.