To day care or not....

I am just about to start DS1 at kindy in a couple of weeks time when term starts here. I've only gone back to work on weekends (casual) since DS1 was born so it hasn't been a necessity. We always planned on DS1 starting kindy at 3, which for him would mean waiting till mid Jan because he's a December bub. We've brought it forward more because of timing with the school year here, but the main reason is that now that DS2 is mobile and getting into everything, I feel like he's not getting anywhere near the one-on-one time DS1 got at the same stage. He generally just tags along to whatever we're doing with the big kids which is great but not always easy on him. This way DS1 will be engaged and having a grand old time at kindy and DS2 will get some chill out time with just mum!

Ditch the guilt and do what works for YOUR family. Funnily enough, it's the opposite here - people have been asking me when DS is starting daycare since he was about 18 months old. Personally, I couldn't see the value in paying someone else to supervise him playing when I can do that myself for nothing now that he's kindy age, I'm happy for him to go. But everyone's situation is different. If it gives you a chance ti recharge your batteries a couple of mornings a week in late pregnancy and time to bond with #2 when they arrive then it sounds worthwhile to me

Haha, yes, great idea MrsEmma - pay someone else to do the housework and keep the childminding jobs for yourself

Emz, I agree that toddlers don't *need* the socialisation etc people seem to think can only be acheived by sending them to daycare. My girl's been in care 3-4 days a week since 6 months and while she's a chirpy, confident wee girl, I'm sure she'd have been like that regardless of daycare. She's very like me, and I never spent a day in care.

But I think the best advice given here is to do what works for your family and never mind anyone else's opinion. I'm sure there are people who don't agree with my parenting choices, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I've made the choices that are right for me and that's what's important

T_Rex wrote: But I think the best advice given here is to do what works for your family and never mind anyone else's opinion. I'm sure there are people who don't agree with my parenting choices, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I've made the choices that are right for me and that's what's important

Well said.

Sure we are all doing what we feel right for our situations

Agreed also T-Rex, everyone is different - what's good for the goose isn't always what's good for the gander

Hmm, My DS1 went to daycare full time at 14 months when I went back to work. When #2 arrived I continued to keep #1 at daycare fulltime until the new baby was 6 weeks old. I loved having this time with my new baby and it was great as the routine never changed for him at all. After that 6 weeks, he moved up to the over 2's and I dropped his hours to 2 days a week. When #2 was 6 months old I returned to work for a half day so put #2 in for a full day so I had half a day on my own. It was awesome!.

The boys now go fulltime again as I am back working.

My kids love daycare and they will both continue to go in some capacity regardless of what I do work wise. I have no guilt, my kids love it, we can afford it and at the end of the day it works for us.

I also pay someone to clean my house ;-)

TheKelly wrote: If YOU feel that it would be beneficial to you,your baby and your toddler,then I say go for it,don't worry about what anyone else says,you do what you need to do to make your family happy cos thats who this is about. Some SAHMs prefer to keep their children at home,some like a break for a day,neither is wrong,each way is right for each individual family.

and

T_Rex wrote: But I think the best advice given here is to do what works for your family and never mind anyone else's opinion. I'm sure there are people who don't agree with my parenting choices, but you know what? I don't give a damn. I've made the choices that are right for me and that's what's important

There are no rules. Everyone has to do what works for them. As long as your child is loved, fed, cuddled and occasionally washed , do what you need to do. I'm a better mum for having time out. DS1 kept doing to daycare after DS2 was born and it worked for everyone involved. Don't regret it at all. Just cos you're a SAHM doesn't mean you can't negotiate the conditions

Edited by fire_engine

Not sure why some people insist that their job description of a SAHP should be the same for everyone. Not that too many people have done that here though, so not accusing anyone of anything

Am just amused when I see someone say things like - this is what a SAHP is, they choose to stay home so this is what they should do. Oh yeah? According to who? The big boss of SAHP's? Is that job description in your contract when you sign up to be a SAHP? The Great Rule Book of SAHP decrees that it must be done just so otherwise you Will Damage Your Child? And you definitely CANNOT tailor the SAHP job to suit the individual. No, that would be Bad Parenting.

Anyway, to the topic at hand - sorry for that tangent OP! We didn't put Jude in daycare when Willem was born but that's because of a number of things, the main one relevant to you is probably that we have family around willing to take him off our hands for a bit every now and again. Another reason was that we live rurally and getting Jude to daycare just seems like more effort than it's worth - if it's meant to be a break for me but I end up having to get everyone organized in the morning and then spend around an hour and a half plus out of my day driving to and from daycare, it doesn't end up being much of a break.

Meh, I'm no matyr. If I had a self cleaning house and some sort of babysitter (one that appeared and disappeared on command and I didn't have to pay them or feed them or have them living in my house) that could attend to the children when I cant be buggered, that'd be awesome. While we're on that train of thought, throw in a cook as well please.

Anyway, not sure what this post was meant to be other than a ranting and raving one.

As others have said - do what you like, do what is right for you.