What do you do when your 4 year old son

I dont have any suggestions, but didnt want to read and run....I think you prob need one of these about now

Hopefully someone has some good advice!

hmmm its a pity you dont know what led up to it. my boys have been known to do this, but to each other and usually when they are plaiying rough anyway. It may have been part of a game, and if one kid doesnt understand it properly it could have led to a misunderstanding... he may have beem modelling a behaviour he had seen some where else too.

has he said why he did it though? i think it would be very unfair of him to apologise to someone who hurt him first if they wont be doing the same.

Its really hard when your otherwise perfect little boy acts in an out of character way. We have just been through something with my son whos almost 6 and it involved a pocket knife and school.and a seperate incident of stealing.......we came down so hard on him but by the end realised we expected him to know so much more than he knows........IE. he really didnt comprehend what 'lying' actually was, we thought he knew but really he didnt know properly what it actually meant.   And he didnt actually have any idea what stealing was, now he understands both and now if it happened the consequences would be harsher. he got to choose his punishment for the stealing and he chose no TV for a week, which is good cos every day he was reminded that he had done something wrong etc, so it drilled it home over a few days

For your situation, No doing what he did isnt cool no matter what the lead up was, and if you can ever get to the bottom of "why" it would help explain to him about how to express himself using words etc......cos no matter what someone else has done you dont want your guy thinking its ok to retaliate in an agressive way, esp not one so full on.....but of course without knwoing the story you cant reprimand him only assuming he did it as an act of violence....he couldve been playing doggies and didnt realise that could strangle someone etc

I think what you did is fine, and writing a letter is also really good.
I think our boys maybe doing some subconcious acting out since our babies came along? your lil man had your undivided attention for quite some time huh and his world was turned topsy turvy when the twins were born.......likewise with my boy, his brother is 3months old so it just seems like this sort of thing happens...........

isnt it fun??!!!! Im nt sure if any of what ive said is helpful at all, but i just wanted to share you my experience of recent so you know your not alone in out of character behaviour and confusion etc..........I found it heart breaking

Hugs.......hope its all over with now