What do you do when your 4 year old son
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Topic: What do you do when your 4 year old son
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Subject: What do you do when your 4 year old son
Date Posted: 26 March 2010 at 9:01pm
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What do you do when your 4 year old son try's to strangle another kid at his day care with the rope off those flower pot stilt things.
The teachers caught him in the act and DP had turned up JUST after it happened. He ended up in bed at 5.30 and was fast asleep by 6pm. We have talked to him and confiscated some of his toys and let him know how sad we are that he did this etc but I have no idea how to deal with this ... Can anyone share with me ways they may have dealt with this sort of behavior? The poor boy E assaulted had a red mark around his neck :( I feel just awful. I don't want to known as the Mother of the boy who attacks other kids! He is usually such a nice boy, who is so well behaved. We are ALWAYS getting comments on how well behaved he is! He's just been such hard work recently. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
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Replies:
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 26 March 2010 at 9:39pm
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I dont have any suggestions, but didnt want to read and run....I think you prob need one of these about now Hopefully someone has some good advice! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 26 March 2010 at 9:45pm
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I would say tired? To me, it's kind of just the same as biting/hitting in younger kids.
I think you're doing all you can, telling him its not acceptable and showing him there are consequences for his actions (and talk about how sore the wee boy will be etc, so he knows its not all about him). It must be hard though 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 March 2010 at 11:08pm
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hmmm its a pity you dont know what led up to it. my boys have been known to do this, but to each other and usually when they are plaiying rough anyway. It may have been part of a game, and if one kid doesnt understand it properly it could have led to a misunderstanding... he may have beem modelling a behaviour he had seen some where else too. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 27 March 2010 at 12:17am
He has come home saying things like 'I'm going to kick you in the head' The only place this COULD have come from is Day Care. We don't smack in our house, he has never been hit and I certainly have never threatened him with a kick in the head! I am going to talk to the teachers at his Day care on Monday. This weekend I am going to help him 'write' a letter to say sorry to the boy he hurt. He was certainly very up set, he hates to see his Mummy and Daddy upset with him. It brakes me heart to see him so  He had a late night Last night so I am hoping it was just a tired thing.
Thanks for the  ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!)
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 March 2010 at 8:55am
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has he said why he did it though? i think it would be very unfair of him to apologise to someone who hurt him first if they wont be doing the same. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 27 March 2010 at 8:57am
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he said 'Me just do it' ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!)
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 27 March 2010 at 10:49pm
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Its really hard when your otherwise perfect little boy acts in an out of character way. We have just been through something with my son whos almost 6 and it involved a pocket knife and school.and a seperate incident of stealing.......we came down so hard on him but by the end realised we expected him to know so much more than he knows........IE. he really didnt comprehend what 'lying' actually was, we thought he knew but really he didnt know properly what it actually meant. And he didnt actually have any idea what stealing was, now he understands both and now if it happened the consequences would be harsher. he got to choose his punishment for the stealing and he chose no TV for a week, which is good cos every day he was reminded that he had done something wrong etc, so it drilled it home over a few days
For your situation, No doing what he did isnt cool no matter what the lead up was, and if you can ever get to the bottom of "why" it would help explain to him about how to express himself using words etc......cos no matter what someone else has done you dont want your guy thinking its ok to retaliate in an agressive way, esp not one so full on.....but of course without knwoing the story you cant reprimand him only assuming he did it as an act of violence....he couldve been playing doggies and didnt realise that could strangle someone etc I think what you did is fine, and writing a letter is also really good. I think our boys maybe doing some subconcious acting out since our babies came along? your lil man had your undivided attention for quite some time huh and his world was turned topsy turvy when the twins were born.......likewise with my boy, his brother is 3months old so it just seems like this sort of thing happens........... isnt it fun??!!!! Im nt sure if any of what ive said is helpful at all, but i just wanted to share you my experience of recent so you know your not alone in out of character behaviour and confusion etc..........I found it heart breaking Hugs.......hope its all over with now |
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 28 March 2010 at 9:43pm
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Thanks Lou, yeah it helps to know that we are 'not alone' and that perhaps it is just a 'stage' he is going though. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!)
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