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jazzy 
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 Posted: 19 February 2011 at 7:39am |
 ItchyFeet wrote:
Something else to consider is how to provide for your children if your partner should remarry. |
That's a hard one.
I have a friend whose DH has been married before & has a couple of grown up kids. In their wills they have everything down to the pot plants (several thousand $ in value) named who they go to. Her half is split between their children 2 ways & his half is split 4 ways to included his children. They have property under their childrens names & all item go to their children so its just a bit of cash really.
Thinking about it it seems so complicated. I know both our families would sort the kids out so they would stay together & be ok. But we still need to put something in place for them, just hate to think of not being around for them especially while they are so young.
I want my personal things like jewellery & things past to my by my family to go to my kids.
DH has a son from a relationship when he was young, we got together 5 yrs after he left that relationship. He left everything behind & signed over the house to her. We don't have a good relationship with him. DH thinks by not putting him in the Will there will be no problems & I don't want to take the chance. As far as I am concerned DH has given enough & we paid heavy CS for yrs & am now building up our things for our family which have taken the back seat for yrs. I know that sounds harsh. I am not opposed in giving him something personal from DH side of the family...not that he would want it more likely only money would appeal.
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fire_engine
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 4:12pm |
If you're in Auckland, you can get a free will made next week, in return for a donation to Mercy Hospice. Details are
here
Edited to fix link.
Edited by Flissty
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Mum to two wee boys
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Bizzy
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 5:00pm |
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flissty that go to an email address...
its ok - got it.
Edited by Bizzy
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jazzy
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 5:30pm |
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what is it? I don't have outlook
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amme_eilyk
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 5:53pm |
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jazzy you need to be careful about dh's will, as there is the Family Protection Act 1955 which enables certain relatives to contest the will if they are not provided for.
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jazzy
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 6:32pm |
amme_eilyk wrote:
jazzy you need to be careful about dh's will, as there is the Family Protection Act 1955 which enables certain relatives to contest the will if they are not provided for. |
Thanks I will have to look into that. That is what I don't want DH thinks by not including him all will be fine & that he wont think he would get anything anyway & he is probably right but don't want to take the chance. If DH was to die first then everything would go to me & not the kids till I die & I would not leave him anything. Not that I would not give him anything but it would probably be from DH's family after they have all gone & it would not be money.
Wish it was not complicated & if we had a relationship with him I am sure things would be different.
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minik8e
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 8:35pm |
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Funny...I just gave my solicitor instructions on Friday for my will, as I don't currently have one. Mine is made slightly difficult by the fact that although the girls would go to their dad if I passed away, I wanted my parents to also have rights in relation to their upbringing otherwise they would miss out completely on seeing the girls grow up, even though they are such a huge part of their life now.
I don't have any assets, but what I do have would go to the girls anyway. I will, at some stage, get life insurance as well.
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Chickaboo
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Posted: 20 February 2011 at 10:10pm |
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me and Dh did our wills just before heading off on a big trip to Uk and USA - hated tot hink if something happened we had nothing in place. At the time we had 3 kids now that we have Elodie we really need to update it.
We never got charged for setting it up and we got told it doesn't cost to ammend it either.
For the reason some of you guys have not done one I made sure i did as I did not want some people to have my kids and knew that I wanted my parents as gardians (and so did DH)
oh and things like rings and things (CD collection mentioed) I would just make sure members of your family know - we did not add these into our will but basicaly have told people whose getting what - we also wrote a list that we placed withour copy of the will of the things we wanted people to have)
Just like life insurance it is important but we all seem to put them off.
Edited by Chickaboo
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sbeach
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Posted: 21 February 2011 at 11:14am |
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just a note on possibly excluding someone from your will. DH's family has all kinds of issues and his Mum and Stepdad dont have anything to do with DH's brother but instead of leaving him out of the will they have left him a tiny amount. Their reasoning is because of that Act if they left him nothing he could contest it and a judge (or whoever decided) would not know the family history but would probably realise there would be a reason for leaving him a tiny amount.
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jazzy
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Posted: 22 February 2011 at 1:13pm |
sandie wrote:
just a note on possibly excluding someone from your will. DH's family has all kinds of issues and his Mum and Stepdad dont have anything to do with DH's brother but instead of leaving him out of the will they have left him a tiny amount. Their reasoning is because of that Act if they left him nothing he could contest it and a judge (or whoever decided) would not know the family history but would probably realise there would be a reason for leaving him a tiny amount. |
There must be some way you can do a will & leave what you want to people you want. It should not be on the grounds they are related.
If DH was to die first does that mean the stepson can can contest the will as everything would go to me.
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kandk
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Posted: 22 February 2011 at 9:38pm |
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If you want to leave someone out who 'should' get something, it can be a good idea to write a separate letter to go with the Will explaining your reasoning. That way if the Will is challenged, your (hopefully valid) reasons are set out clearly for the judge to take account of.
As for writing your own, while it can be done and can be valid, unless you know the ins and outs of it, it is very easy to get something wrong and not have the result that you intended. For instance, if you write "I leave my house at 27 Smith St to my son Joe", but when you die you actually own a different house, he won't get it. So best to shop around and get one drawn up professionally. Some lawyers do them for free if you are a client or doing other business with them.
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Wills
