HT: Baby in your bed

Babe wrote: MamaT wrote: Sorry Babe I probably didn't word that right, you are right. Co-sleeping doesnt make babies more independent, just as breastfeeding doesn't make children smarter. It is a correlation. Studies have found that those children who co-slept are significantly more independent than their non-cosleeping peers. Just as babies who are breastfeed are significantly more likely to grow up more intelligent than ther non-breastfed peers. Whether independence or intellegance are caused by co-sleeping or breastfeeding isn't known, but, it is a factor in it. Y'know thats really interesting. I wonder if it goes deeper than that and somehow relates to the attitude of the parents who make those choices. I'm just thinking that AS A GENERALISATION people who co-sleep (and BF but to a lesser extent) are probably more likely use other, less 'mainstream' parenting techniques like no/less tv, more independant imaginative play, more outdoor play, different disciplining techniques, etc which as a whole probably result in more independent (and smarter) children. I know that with my growing parenting awareness (I'm only really getting into my groove) and our inclinations towards everything natural and holistic (where co-sleeping/BFing are relatively intertwined) our whole parenting style has changed. Its definitely resulted in a change in the boys for the better. Does that make sense? It caught my interest anyway

That makes perfect sense, as I think you are right on the money there. That is pretty much exactly what research indicates

Nope, it’s not for me. I’m pretty sure that most parents on here who chose to co-sleep would do it safely, so I have no issue with people who chose to, but it’s so not for us. I am NOT a ‘cuddly’ person in bed, and have been known to boot DH in my sleep when he’s got to close I don’t think I’d do that to Jacob, but I know I wouldn’t sleep as well with him next to me and I’m sure that the better night’s sleep I get, the better parent I am! Also, he seems to take after me in that respect, and even if I’d wanted to he just refuses to go to sleep being cuddled or next to me – the only time he does is when he’s sick so I have to make do with getting all my sleepy cuddles then.

Given that Jacob’s made it pretty clear that co-sleeping isn’t for him either, I don’t think he suffers any from my decision. He knows I’m only a call away if he needs me.

On the hospital front, I was pretty weirded out by the fact they encouraged me to go to sleep with him – but not in a safe way or anything, I was totally bushed from having him, had a narrow single bed and could have dropped him off so easily. It didn’t feel safe at all.

I have always let my kids choose really... DD1 slept in my bed until she was nearly 5, DD2 until she was 3 and a half, and DD3 usually sleeps in our bed, but sometimes cries to be in her cot, then cries to be back in our bed LOL...I much prefer co-sleeping as I find I get much more sleep, it's easier for feeding and it feels safe. I would really struggle with having my baby in a separate room - in fact I would probably end up sleeping on the floor next to them. Actually our near four year old in still in our room, but on a single bed now rather than in our bed I was VERY thankful we share our bed on the 4th of September, when the big quake hit and that has probably what's is making the idea of moving DD2 to another room even more unappealing

Hmm this is a very interesting topic! so many varied opinions.. For me I co slept for 6 weeks and that was mainly because I am a single mum and had no help when DS was born so it was much easier.. I found I was able to feed alot quicker and got better sleep.. I also stopped BF around 6 weeks too. DS is 5 months now and sometimes co sleeps.. thats more for me or if I am really tired.. I love co sleeping but I love my space more and not having to worry about him rolling or getting under covers

Hopes wrote: On the hospital front, I was pretty weirded out by the fact they encouraged me to go to sleep with him – but not in a safe way or anything, I was totally bushed from having him, had a narrow single bed and could have dropped him off so easily. It didn’t feel safe at all.

Me too, I remember sleeping wedged on my side, or rather not sleeping for the whole night a couple of times in hospital, and that totally put me off co-sleeping!

We're more in the "when we need to" camp. DS would start the night in his crib during winter, then end up in bed with me because I froze getting up to feed during the night. But he was almost 1 by then, so it felt very different from sleeping with a newborn.