 jazzy wrote:
Babe wrote:
There ya go thats my differing opinion that I get to share because this is an open forum  and since this whole thread has totally missed the OPs point I don't care thats its so OT... |
I don't see the point of turning this thread into something it is not...
|
Then perhaps you could read what I have to say and attempt to understand it rather than implying that I am a selfish, dole bludging bad mother.
For clarity, that sentence was aimed at more than just you, Jazzy. Your post was just the most recent, so easiest to quote.
Here is what I wanted from this thread;
Somewhere to put all my jumbled thoughts, feelings and fears at a time when I was feeling alone and vulnerable.
Maybe a couple of positive replies, not necessarily containing legal advice. Basically "That must suck, *hugs*"
If anyone had been in a similar situation, then sharing that experience would have been most welcome.
And the usual being pointed to CAB / legal aid.
I did expect that not everyone would agree with my desire to move, but I did not expect to be attacked for it. I'll know better next time I think I can rely on the kindness of strangers.
And this bit is probably the most important bit.
This is what I want, and what I hope to happen after I move. I'll even add supporting arguments.
I want to:
- Have somewhere to call home, big enough to raise a family in.
Rentals in Auckland are overpriced and for what is being charged for a tidy 2 bedroom unit with a patio up here, in Christchurch I could get a fully furnished 2 bedroom home with a decent sized (if not huge), fully fenced backyard. Or so my research leads me to believe.
- Provide a stable family environment for Caleb.
Living with my mother will do for now, but it is not what I want for my son. I want him to see a healthy relationship, because I believe it will help him have one himself one day. Another part of family is siblings, which has been discussed with Tyler, and we're not going to rule that out for a few years down the line.
- Marry the man of my dreams.
Which is a part of the previous point, but I thought that one was getting a bit long. I do realise that 7 months is not a long relationship, but I had actually known Tyler online for over 5 years when we met face to face in Feb. It has now been more than 6 years since we first spoke online. I think we know each other well enough.
- Provide good role models, including a wonderful step dad.
Tyler is everything I hope Caleb will be - Hard working, dedicated, passionate, honest, healthy and strongly against drug use. On top of that, his family and friends seem to be much the same.
- Continue to support a relationship with his biological father, who may be a terrible influence (regular drug user, campaigns for legalisation of pot, smoker, drinks heavily at social occasions from what I gather from the stories he tells, never walks anywhere, eats unhealthily, makes poor financial decisions, is gainfully UNemployed and has been since I was pregnant, as far as I can remember) but he does love his son. Ideally, visits would be every 10 weeks for 1 week. I believe that 10 weeks is long enough for a low income family to scrape $300 together, just, and short enough that Caleb will still know his father.
As it seems to have been missed or misread last time I said it, yes, I will be staying on the DPB down there. For a few weeks, while I sort myself out and arrange stopping it with WINZ, at which point Tyler and I can legally live together.
I hope I haven't missed anything important, but I think it's all there.
As this post has been sitting here for an hour, I should probably post it.
Legal crapola - Help?
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you got it, hope everything works out for you...but for god sake get legal advise.
