Lack of instincts!

Hi LolaM. Don't worry, you are definitely not the only one out there who has felt like they have NO instincts and have no idea what they are doing!

I was exactly the same as you in so many respects, it could have been my post in the early days    Everyone told me to trust my instincts and relax, both of which did NOT help

I am by NO means any sort of expert as my son is only four months now, but I can tell you that it WILL get better. Everyone says that too, but believe me when I tell you that it is true! It is hard to imagine that where you are, but it WILL happen

Looking back this is the advice I would give:

- personally I think the one hour up, two hours asleep general rule works well for MOST (but by no means all) babies. If you can get your baby to sleep two hours! Mine never did    
- Feeding around 2 1/2 to 3 hourly during the day, and on demand at night.
- I noticed a REAL growth spurt around 6 weeks and 3 months, but he didn't feed more during the day, just at night. However he did cluster in the evenings.
- if you follow that general routine than you know what to expect next and what the problem might be if bubs is crying. I found in those early days when I tried to feed on demand, he cried a LOT. I believe that it was because I was overfeeding him and not burping him well enough so he was uncomfortable. I self diagnosed silent reflux but not sure it was even really that.
- definitely try to book yourself into a plunket family centre if there is one near where you are. They are a fantastic support and can give you some guidance.
- do you have a coffee group or friends with babies? That can be a great support too.

And lastly, allow people to help as much as possible. I wanted to do it all on my own, started to get more and more anxious and ended up with Post Natal Anxiety. It was probably a lot to do with my personality (I hate when I can't control things!) but also because I felt as you did and never let anyone help.

Oh and vent here as much as you like. The ladies are FANTASTIC. And if you want/need to feel free to PM me and we can email if you like.

Thanks guys, I'm off to the docs soon cos I just wanna get him checked out in case he has reflux or colic.

Right now he's in the front pack screaming at the top of his lungs (this is not uncommon). I fed him 2.5 hours ago. I could feed him again and often I do just to calm him down, but now I'm thinking maybe he has colic or reflux or both and maybe feeding him too much is doing more harm than good???? What do you think? He doesn't really appear hungry to me, then again who knows. He's also a very sucky baby so he always has his fingers/hands or dummy in his mouth, so it's hard to really know when he's hungry. I usually just feed 3 hourly, or when he wakes up (if he's had a semi decent sleep).

He had a 320g weight gain this week too.....

My boy fed 2 to 3 hourly at 6 weeks... don't be worried about the routine thing too much, feed him at 2 hours if he's crying

It won't do any harm taking him to the Dr, hopefully they can tell you one way or the other in regards to reflux or colic. Check out the website: www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz.

PERSONALLY I fed 2.5 - 3hrly and not on demand, ONLY because I couldn't tell when on earth he was hungry. In fact I couldn't tell what was wrong half the time. Looking back I think I was overfeeding him, then he would get lots of wind, and then be in pain and cry lots (and not sleep!) But if you think he is hungry there is nothing wrong with feeding him, I could just never tell :-)

hmmm, maybe worth trying but I've always been told to give smaller but more frequent feeds with Kiara's reflux.

Maybe try one thing first (eg the meds) to see if it works before fiddling with everything at the same time. Kiara's only doing 4 hour feeds (sometimes) now so it'd be hard for your little guy to last that long.

Just a heads up though - if his oesophagus is already burnt from the stomach acid it'll take a few days of the meds before it'll settle down. It took Kiara 2-3 days and I've heard it can take longer depending upon how irritated the oesophagus is.

Not sure if they gave you much info on how to give the meds? Basically though, you need to make sure you don't give the gaviscon before the losec or it'll interfere with absorption. At the start getting it all into him will be a complete PITA.   BUT it's worth persisting because if it is reflux then in a few days you'll have a different baby.

Hugs. Hang in there.

Edited by thesaff

Little babies digest food after 1-1.5 hours so to me every 4 hours seems a long time for such a little baby.

We fed on demand, but I had a reasonably easy baby so can't really help you much!

LolaM wrote: Thank you! Doc said to give the Omeprazole twice a day before feeding and to halve the capsule and put the granules on my finger and get him to suck them off. Then he said to give the Gaviscon in 15ml of water after 4 feeds a day. That sound about right? I do wonder about the diagnosis though

Yep, sounds right to me. The hardest bit is finding the perfect moment to give the gaviscon. Supposedly to be most effective it should be given at the end of a feed but if they're not hungry anymore then it's hard to get them to swallow it.

And yes again. Hard sometimes to diagnose and my Dr pretty much said "well if she gets better on this we'll know she has reflux".

If you have trouble getting the gaviscon into him - do a search for gaviscon in the threads because I know there have been lots of threads about different tricks to get the babies to take it.