friends/family input into your parenting

Oooh Jazzy I feel your anger!! My ex ILs gave B his first haircut and didnt even ASK me!! His lock of hair in his baby book is actually from when he was 3 and I had to get his haircut that summer..

Mum knows not to try giving me advice because I will turn around and just do the opposite, I'm a tad too sensitive/headstrong/pig-headed (take your pick lol) to listen to advice I didnt ask for... used to get it from the ex ILs alll the freaking time... heaps of 'advice' but no actual help! The winning piece of advice wasnt so much about parenting as it was my 'housewifely duties' I caught my ex out over some extremely dodgy email conversations with some other woman... I rang the ex MIL and told her about it, only to be informed that maybe it was partly MY fault as I wasnt providing a happy enough home for him (Lets see... living in a town with no friends, no family, battling undiagnosed PND, married for all of 5 months, with a 7 month old... how happy a home am i supposed to provide when he's already attempting to cheat on me!?). Her advice was to write a letter and leave it for him to read outlining how hurt I was and blah blah blah....but only after he'd come home from work, had a nice dinner and time to relax... yeah I dont think so!

DP's family have SFA to do with us, although BILs wife (the one that does actually talk to us!) keeps trying to treat me like one of her kids who need to be told what to do etc... I will send my son to whatever school I choose to... not private just because its what YOU did lady! I went to public school and I got a good enough education, so dont knock it!

I could never do co-sleeping long-term... I never had B in my bed once, had Jae in with us a few times out of sheer desperation cos she wouldnt sleep, and we were worried about pi$$ing FIL off in the next room with a crying baby in the middle of the night... but those nights I couldnt sleep because i was worried about either of us rolling over etc... and I like my sleep too much to do that again!

Some of the best (worst lol) comments made to me about my decisions re parenting choices:

- G at 3 months screaming with reflux while I was trying to eat my (cold) lunch at a cafe and being told by the lady at the table next to mine that she was just hungry and I should feed her more

- being told by a lady at plunket coffee group that my "poor child" would freeze to death because I had put a 2 month old in a t-shirt and shorts as it was 30 degrees out side.

- several comments from mums my age (late 20's/early 30's) at work when I went back after 5 months that I was crazy to still be BFing/using cloth nappies/making my own baby food because surely I had better things to do with my time

- helpful comments by the nurses at the hospital the 4 times G was in between 6 - 10 months that it was my own fault she kept getting sick and ending up in hospital coz I sent her to daycare 2.5 days a week (possibly true but extremely unhelpful to a scared/worried parent of a very sick child)

- comments by a lady at work about how I must carry G around too much as she didn't start crawling till 13 months and walking till 17 months. WTF - if the child can't move by herself how is she supposed to get somewhere if I don't carry her

- comments from friends about how they don't believe little kids should wear jeans coz they are difficult to move around in and this must be why G likes sitting on the floor playing instead of tearing around like a "normal" toddler. While my child was sitting happily at my feet wearing jeans and a hoodie she also told me that kids should wear clothes that make them look like kids and not like a little hoodlum. I was particularly mad at this one coz I put G in jeans because they are hard wearing and stand up to a lot of wear and tear in the knee area from a child that falls and skins her knees all the time.

ETA to fix spelling

Edited by Shelt

Oh yeah and the number of people who think I've abandoned my 2 year old in a shop when she is just looking at the toys on the bottom shelves nice and quietly and I'm only half an aisle away. An old lady came up to her today and asked her where her mummy was and why her mummy had left her there by herself - I was only just down the aisle and had my eye on her. Its just that looking at the stuff at her level keeps her occupied while I try and look at other things. G told her she "no liked you lady" and then pointed at me and said mummy over there. The lady looked over at me and said I should keep my eye on her then walked off. Well I was till you interferred lady

And the amount of people who say reflux is all in the mother's imagination Don't even get me started If I could have had non reflux baby who slept and didn't scream in pain I would have gladly taken it.

ah you see 2boys,that is because some people believe that babies follow this manual,that tells them exactly when they should be crawling and walking, unfortunately,the majority of babies haven't actually read it and prefer to do things at their own individual pace.

...Which reminds me,last night at the inlaws,one of their friends kept trying to get Ty to talk, which he doesn't and wont, and she said "he'll talk soon,don't worry "
I said "I'm not worried, he understands perfectly and once he talks,he wont ever shut up "
That shut her trap for awhile.

C talked really early...and it was fun for 5minutes lol, Im not concerned about Ty but so many people (older usually ) seem to think I should be *rolls eyes*

Oh, I had that too, crawling bit!

Lily crawled Xmas day about 10 months old and before than, the moment she could roll everyone was going 'She'll be crawling soon!' and would constantly go on about it! And it got to the point where she was really close but not quite there and everyone was telling me it wasn't normal for a baby to not crawl and she would and she NEEDED to do X hours before X age or it would affect her schooling... (wtf? althought something about using the whole brain).

Lily was a bum shuffler until Xmas, and until New Years she still preferring it to crawling, now she finds crawling faster!

But back to the topic, people were telling me I wasn't doing enough to help her crawl and it was just weird if she walked then crawled (which is what I did).

I'm now being told I should invest in a walker to get her walking, but I am perfectly fine with her not walking yet and would not waste $$ on a walker when she'll outgrow it rather quickly. Plus she hates being restrained in things like that. JJ included.

We've had a couple of TT questions on my side too, mainly because my Grandfathers mum had him TT at 9 months, same with my mum and so they're wondering when I am going to start Lily! Tbh I can tell all her signs, but haven't read much about TT and will probably wait until she has a bit better balance and can stand or walk at least.

I worked with this woman, can not remember what country she was from but she told me she sat her kids in the bath at just over 1yr & made them clean their own nappies & that was how she TT them...she was giving me advise I don't get what the big deal is with TT, when they are ready they will do it. Push them then you have problems.

When DS2 had his B4 school check he did not like doing #2 during the day & they made a big fuss of it. I spoke to the kindy & found it was due to no door on the toilets which they had been trying to get for ages so they used him as an example & got a little door on one, which is the most popular toilet, lol....but the B4 school check people wrote a horrible report about it so I had a go at them & will not take DS3 for one..idiots, oh & we have never had an more issues about toileting since.

People just stick their big fat noses into what does not concert them...