I found, while the older one can be helpful, she was not at all happy to have the limelight taken away from her, after being an only child for so long.
The big age gap works well for some parents...but not so much for me. A shorter age gap is more ideal I reckon, now that I look back. But hey. I'm sure my older daughter will get over it eventually. Well here's hoping anyway.
I have four years, almost exactly between my girls, my almost one year old was born 9 days before my eldests fourth birthday. Its a wonderful age gap.
When the youngest was still very much a baby, her sister was an amazing help, and she wanted to be, always getting everything ready for nappy changes, picking out her clothes for the day,and always so concerned about her, its very sweet to watch. Now that shes a big bubba, they play together all the time, the age gap makes no difference in that way.
My daughter is a pretty unique kid (she seems very mature emotionally for her age) but she has had zero jealousy towards her sister. We were expecting it, and it just hasnt happened, not a bit.
I hope I have another one a bit sooner, Im hoping to be pregnant maybe mid-end of this year so the age gap there would be about 2.5 years. My reason for that is mostly because I want to be finished having kids before I am 30, and I want a few! ;) I think its lovely some families have their children so close together but its just not what fits right for us.
All kids are different but I think it is what you make it. My brothers and I are all 4 years apart from each other but we never felt like we had big gaps between us, it never felt that way at all.
I have 3 kids 4-5 years apart. 14 yr, 9yr, 5yr old. I actuallly like the age gap as each child can be focussed on and they all get on ok. I find it hard enough with the baby toddler stage and adding another to that would just do me in. I take my hat off to mums who have a small age gap. The 14 yr and the 5 yr old get on better together and then the 9yr old and the 5 year old get on well. 14 and 9 not so much as he is such an embarrassment to the teenager attitude at the moment but they used to get on well.
The only thing that I found hard is you have your independence back and the first few months are tough as it is ripped away again. But if I could chose a small or large age gap again then I would definately not change it.
But in saying this I had the luxury of being able to wait for 4 years. If you are starting a family later in life then circumstance dictates what age gap you can have.
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