Bigger age gap
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=28233
Printed Date: 26 August 2025 at 6:00pm
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Topic: Bigger age gap
Posted By: LovelyMummy
Subject: Bigger age gap
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 12:24pm
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How big is the age gap between your kiddies?
Anyone with a 4 year age gap? And how did you find it? Thanks |
Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 1:34pm
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We have 3 years, 8 mths between Maya and the gremlins, and I reckon it's the perfect age gap - if we were to have another (big If!), I'd want a similar age gap. Maya was old enough to understand what was going on, was really involved with the pregnancy, buying stuff for the babies etc. And she wasn't totally dependent on me, she could entertain herself while I was feeding the babies, and was at preschool so I got a break during the day when the babies were asleep (yeah right, as if they slept!).
We had 20 mths between the gremlins and lil miss - insanity! I would never do it again! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 1:40pm
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my sisters kids are just over 5 and they scrap like nothing i have ever seen in my life. lol. the oldest boy is really sooky though and the girl is a real tom boy and beats him up so i guess it would be different from family to family. they seem to be really tough on one kid and really easy on the other though so maybe not the best example over all. i do know they quite struggle with the fact they are in completely different stages of life, they hate the same TV programs, hate the same outings etc... ------------- 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 1:40pm
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We had 5 years between ours. Really found it hard at first, only because it had been so long since the first one. Some have said to me it would have been better just getting them all out of the way!
I am glad we do have such a big gap now, Janaya was so helpful when Jackson was born, and she still is now. I used to be able to drop Janaya off at school in my Pjs then come home and nap while Jackson did. |
Posted By: 3xMummy
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 1:41pm
Hey Shan 
Our age gap was great!! Minardi understood what was happening & she loved helping 
You thinking about another bubba????  ------------- Jess  http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 2:32pm
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I have a 7 year gap between mine ..... ------------- 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 2:46pm
Found it easy, DS1 was 4 when DS2 was born, he was at kindy & I had time with baby & when baby was asleep I had time with DS1. So I say easy pezzy. BUT now we have DS3 & that is hard work. The 8yr old is so easy but you get the 4yr old & 3yr old together & that is hard work were as the 8 & 4yr old get on well together.....no fights, lol |
Shan84 wrote:Posted By: first
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 3:04pm
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I am also thinking of a 4 or 5 year gap and it is amazing how many people tell you that you are silly to wait that long between kids and that you should just get it over with but I'm starting to just take their comments with a grain of salt.
I like the idea that my first will be at school or kindy so I'll get a bit of rest and one on one time with the new baby. I also like that I get to have a smaller child around the house for longer as I am only oging to have two kids and so I want to enjoy all their stages not just have them so close together that I don't have time to enjoy. All this said I don't have anything against a small gap too. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: noisybaby
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 3:14pm
| my dh has 2 brothers 9years apart. |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 3:45pm
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i have 4.9 year between #1 and #2 - great gap in my opinion #1 was off to school not long after #2 was born - then 8 years between #2 and #3 ok gap but its like starting all over again.. this time #3 will be just over 3 when #4 comes along. and he will be off to afternoon kindy not long after #4 ARRIVES.
And as for fighting #1 and #2 argue heaps. #2 winds #3 up all the time and they are both loud LOL... No matter what age gap you get in the end you just have to make it work for you , ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
876 |
Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 20 August 2009 at 10:56pm
| I have 15 months between #1 and #2 and man its hard work! wasnt so much at first as #2 was so prem he was like my baby till he was almost 2 years now, they are trouble and alot of work and between #2 and #3 there will be 3 years 3 months if this bubs behaves and arrives on time and not early like bubs #2! |
Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 1:52am
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I have a 10 year age gap between my brother and I while there's a six year age gap between him and my little sis.
The pluses to the large gap are that older kids are more independent and can be good at helping out with babies. I also earned a lot of money from babysitting his friends. At the time I often felt a bit taken for granted by having so many extra respoonsibilties that my friends didn't. My brother was more like an only child after my sister and I moved out so he got the benefit of being both a sibling and sole child too. With the benefit of hindsight, I think having a large age gap makes me a lot more confident around young children. I'm able to see what stuff is just a phase and stuff which is of actual concern. I hope it makes me a better mum. |
Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 9:09am
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There is nearly 11 years between DD and the new baby.
There is 2.5 years between me and my brother #1, 10 years between me and brother #2, 12 years between me and sister, and 25 years between me and brother #3. DD and brother #3 are only 8 months apart in age. I had custody of brother #2 and sister for a number of years while Dad lived overseas and their mother was living the 'high' life. I feel more like those two are my kids rather than siblings. Where as with brother #3 I have more of an auntie relationship with him. ------------- |
Posted By: LovelyMummy
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 10:05am
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Thanks girls for your replies, much appreciated
My DP has a 9 year old son whom I am step-mum too & he lives with us & there is 7 years between him & Faith, they get on fantastically which is wonderful, no signs of jealously. Jess, yip thinking about another bub in the next year or so which is exciting You planning on anymore bubs Jess?
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 11:06am
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My eldest had just turned 5 when his baby brother arrived and it was such an easy transition. He had already started at school and was happy there, he had his own friends and he was such a big help, he has always been so lovely to his brother and really felt important I think being able to help out and he included. In saying that though there was 21 monthsd between number 2 and 3 and that was fine as well so I think whatever the age gap you just work with it ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
 
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Posted By: spicyapple664
Date Posted: 21 August 2009 at 7:17pm
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i have 22mnths tween my 2 and i really like it though it was hard at first and at times its still hard but you'll get tht with any age gap really!!
good luck n thts really exciting goodluck! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 22 August 2009 at 5:33pm
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Love my 5 year gap. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: minxynzl
Date Posted: 29 December 2010 at 9:12pm
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My son will be 19 years and 9 months old wen his little brother arrives in January :) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 01 January 2011 at 8:12pm
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i cant help but comment whenever this topic comes up.
i have 6 yrs between first two and then 9 yrs the next gap!! love it....would not change a thing. ...it just works well. i dont get the stress mums put themself under by popping out several in a few yrs... i know the theory is to get childbearing out of the way but it just hasnt been a struggle (maybe getting rid of the weight gain at 37 has  )------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/"> 
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: minxynzl
Date Posted: 02 January 2011 at 8:47pm
Haha - I hear you on thebody...I doubt I will bounce back at 40yrs quite like I did with first at 20yrs. Howeer I think I'll need to rey for number three BEFORE the next 20yrs is up or I will be 60 with number 3!!!!! People often think I mea 19 MONTH age gap rather than 19 YEAR age gap. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 1:34am
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I had a 6 1/2 yr age gap between my daughters.
I found, while the older one can be helpful, she was not at all happy to have the limelight taken away from her, after being an only child for so long. The big age gap works well for some parents...but not so much for me. A shorter age gap is more ideal I reckon, now that I look back. But hey. I'm sure my older daughter will get over it eventually. Well here's hoping anyway. -------------   
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Posted By: gossamer
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 3:20am
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I have four years, almost exactly between my girls, my almost one year old was born 9 days before my eldests fourth birthday. Its a wonderful age gap.
When the youngest was still very much a baby, her sister was an amazing help, and she wanted to be, always getting everything ready for nappy changes, picking out her clothes for the day,and always so concerned about her, its very sweet to watch. Now that shes a big bubba, they play together all the time, the age gap makes no difference in that way. My daughter is a pretty unique kid (she seems very mature emotionally for her age) but she has had zero jealousy towards her sister. We were expecting it, and it just hasnt happened, not a bit. I hope I have another one a bit sooner, Im hoping to be pregnant maybe mid-end of this year so the age gap there would be about 2.5 years. My reason for that is mostly because I want to be finished having kids before I am 30, and I want a few! ;) I think its lovely some families have their children so close together but its just not what fits right for us. All kids are different but I think it is what you make it. My brothers and I are all 4 years apart from each other but we never felt like we had big gaps between us, it never felt that way at all. ------------- T (6) A (2) Our angel baby Sep 2011 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kiwi2
Date Posted: 05 January 2011 at 9:57am
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I have 3 kids 4-5 years apart. 14 yr, 9yr, 5yr old. I actuallly like the age gap as each child can be focussed on and they all get on ok. I find it hard enough with the baby toddler stage and adding another to that would just do me in. I take my hat off to mums who have a small age gap. The 14 yr and the 5 yr old get on better together and then the 9yr old and the 5 year old get on well. 14 and 9 not so much as he is such an embarrassment to the teenager attitude at the moment but they used to get on well.
The only thing that I found hard is you have your independence back and the first few months are tough as it is ripped away again. But if I could chose a small or large age gap again then I would definately not change it. But in saying this I had the luxury of being able to wait for 4 years. If you are starting a family later in life then circumstance dictates what age gap you can have. |