Kaz i understand your frustration, we have trouble with our girl during the day having decent naps, and I know exactly wot you mean about not getting anytime for anything, it's not about enjoying them, because we do, but it's just finding the time for other things too. our girl is particularly bad round lunchtime - and the "milk factory" has to eat to produce more food!! hehe. we all need to be rich and have a nanny to help out. there is no way you are doing it wrong, and every baby is different and different things help them.
good luck with finding wot works for your wee man, rest assured it will get easier (well that's wot everyone tells me, so I am holding onto that hope too hehe)