What to do when your DH doesnt want to BD

Mucky_Tiger wrote: i wonder if he's not in the mood if you could try the whole forceful dominatrix kinda thing...might turn some guys on

Haha MT, Might have to try that one!

Uhh...this is such a timely topic! DH and I BD'd only 3 times last month and ONCE this month! I think I'm about to Ov (day 10 today but haven't noticed any ewcm yet...) and it's just NOT happening! He admitted feeling stressed and pressured the last month or so and we had a good chat last night...about things...that we need to 'schedule' it in however un-romantic it sounds...even when you are not trying for a baby...with busy lives we all live, getting stressed and tired...sometimes sex is the last thing you're thinking of when the head finally hit the pillow! So I said to him he can't bring work home and work till such late hours when I'm feeling exchausted and can't wait up for him anymore, and he can't do that to himself either...and that the longer we leave it, like if we haven't BD'd for a couple of weeks it then feels all weird and bumpy and awkward as if we forget HOW to do it! lol!

Last time it just 'didn't work' I felt so annoyed and frustrated for days (still do!) and it's wrong, cos I wanna be supportive of my DH, i don't want it to be like a cliche where because of fertility issues he is losing confidence in himself an then I go around blaming him and it makes the situation even worse ...just snowballing!

So we decided to have this weekend off, not off BD'ing but off house chores, off thinking about stuff and planning and worrying...just gonna drive away somewhere nice for the weekend, relax, go for walks and have some quality time together...hopefully this takes our minds off the stress and brings us closer!

Emma, hun how are you going? Did you have a chat with your DH? Have you decided whether you will be telling him the week you Ov or will you let it all happen naturally?

Hey Sunshinewife! I think as we are on the IVF bandwagon, its best to just let it happen when it happens, as much as it drives me crazy i figure at this point i mayaswell relax and hope it just happens!(having sex that is, not getting utd haha) But if we have to wait long for IVF (we are most likely going private, so hopefully not so long)then my thoughtsmight change!

We tried the scheduling ti in aswell SW and Babycrazy! It didn't work too good! DH still seemed tired and the sex was less than average. I heard that it increases your chances by 40% if you orgasm aswell, meant to suck up the sperm or something like that, but how can you Orgasm when that mood is so worng at times.

What a convenient thread - I've just posted something along these lines in another thread. We are only "seeing what happens" - so we're not actively trying, but we made the choice to stop taking the pill and let nature take its course. DF says he wants kids, but he has zero interest in BDing, whether for fun or otherwise. I'm tracking my cycle, so I know when I'm ov'ing, and I try to seduce him when I know its a good time, but I get a flat out no. He's stressed and tired and works nights, but we're lucky if we're doing it once every 6-8 weeks. Its getting ridiculous. Some days I hit the "should I stay or go" wall, and try to raise it, but DF says he's sorry and he's tired and s*x doesn't make the relationship.

I can't even imagine how much worse it must be when you're actually trying and knowing you've got so many issues.