| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
TheKelly 
Senior Member
Joined: 30 March 2010
Points: 12728
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Posted: 12 June 2010 at 12:00am |
Thanks Emz! 
|
|
|
 |
Troods
Senior Member
Joined: 12 July 2008
Location: Papakura
Points: 1101
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 7:35am |
I see a new ticker so I'm gonna go completely OT too and say a huge congrats to Kelly - CONGRATS!!!! 
|
|
|
|
Babe
Senior Member
Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 10:23am |
Is it super bad to say I'm jealous?? LOL DP got abit of a horrified look on his face when I told him bout the new ticker and promptly informed me that if I was thinking what he thought I was thinking then forget it  apparently I've promised to give him a year! :sigh: oh well I'll just enjoy watching you suffer... I mean enjoy  your pregnancy Kelly!! (Yeah I'm jealous of the ticker not the actual being pregnant hahaha...)
|
|
|
|
TheKelly
Senior Member
Joined: 30 March 2010
Points: 12728
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 11:06am |
lol Babe ! thanks im already realising all the "fun" stuff I get to go through ...for the last time tho
Thanks Troods !
Sorry for the thread jacks Annie ....they started it 
|
|
|
|
gmunster
Senior Member
Joined: 13 November 2008
Location: Westport
Points: 1668
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 11:20am |
Totally agree with both sides of this story!!
When DD was born I was a SAHM for 5 months and no bones whatsoever about doing everything - it was my job. Plus to be fair with only one child very young I still had plenty of time while she was asleep! I am a neat freak too so enjoyed ensuring house was sorted, tea always ready, fire wood, coal, washing etc. To be fair DH has never really done much around the house - am lucky if he puts a dish in the dishwasher really - in his house it is VERY much a case of the females to all the work regardless of how busy they too have been during the day.
At 5 months I went back to work 3 days a week. Even then I didn't mind doing everything as I still had plenty of time.
However, now I am on the other side of the fence. I am back at work 40 hours a week. DH also works (farmer) but it is winter so there is no milking and hours are singificantly less. So I am no expecting a little more around the house!! Even just the dishes after I have cooked would be nice! Or a load of washing in the machine so I can sort it when I get home. Pretty much it is go go go go for me as soon as I have picked up DD and got in the door at 530. DH sits on the computer with a beer - I run round sorting things. hmmmmmmmm So have broached the subject but not had any winners yet - might have to try again or I am likely to bust! to top it all off I am preg so even a little bit of help would be nice. BUT once again, when I get to Nov and am home again full time, I have no issue again taking care of everything as it is my job!!!
So yes - can see and have experienced both sides of the story!!
|
|
|
|
fattartsrock
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Points: 6441
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 3:08pm |
 Babe wrote:
Little_Red wrote:
Interesting what you are saying Babe about people only coming forward who seem happy with their situation, I think the others have been scared off by the OP! |
That wasn't quite what I meant but I do imagine it would be alot more difficult to share an area that you weren't happy about in your relationship if you felt you were going to be judged 
I think I understand where the OP is coming from though. I laugh at the Tower ads but cringe too. Talk about emasculation!!!! On the odd occasion I've seen that type of relationship in RL it turns my stomach. Theres something awful about watching one person treat another with such disrespect or care!! If I'm right in assuming that its the lack of respect and dignity in a relationship that the OP has a problem with then I gotta agree with that. |
That is EXACTLY what I am getting at!!
And the"pocklet money thing" - those of you that have posted that you do this have all said its a mutually agreed thing or whatever, and thats fine, but I have read on here when its not and I think, gosh, thats a bit harsh... And it makes me wonder how on earth they manage a healthy relationship when one person holds the balance of power...because money is power.
And I do like how most posters have said that they discuss the house/helping out etc with their SO's and it also seems to be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
I haven't meant to SCARE people off, but if you are like that awful harridan in the tower ads, then YES I have no respect for you, or your poor emascualted husband/SO!
|
|
The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
|
|
minik8e
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Taranaki
Points: 5838
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 10:10pm |
Hrmmm, I haven't seen these Tower ads!!! I feel like I'm missing out!!!
I think I'm probably the only person who has spoken up and said that I'm not happy
|
|
WestiesGirl
Senior Member
Joined: 11 October 2007
Location: Aotearoa - In the 'Sunny' S.I
Points: 4550
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 12 June 2010 at 11:03pm |
|
I've just gone back to work but before that being a SAHM I did most/all of the household chores and most things that involved dealing with Jackson. I get up and care for him throughout the night and thats something we both agreed on at the beginning. I did all the laundry, ironing, vacuuming etc. I dont mind either, cos when I decided to be a SAHM I knew that came part of the job description.
DH is great, he takes an active part in both housework and caring for Jackson when Im not. He is pretty good on the weekend and will do the mopping and clean the bathrooms. If I want him to do something I just ask, I dont generally need to nag. When I cook, he cleans and vise versa.
When he gets home from work he likes to take Jackson and spend time with him, which has just happened naturally and he enjoys it. And it gives me 10 minutes to finish and serve dinner and 'chill' for a bit. I've never needed to 'hand him over' cos it was that time of the day.
As for finances, I do it all. Mainly cos Dh cant be a*sed. We both play an active part in how our money is spent and where it goes. We make decisions together, unless its minor day to day purchases and spending i.e. groceries, bills etc. No allowance here, if Dh (or I) needs something we factor it into the budget otherwise it all comes out of our spending account (all our accounts are joint).
Now that Im back at work, I still take care of most household things but DH helps out a little more. TBH I kinda like doing most things, they get done the way I like and in a timely manner.
|
Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
|
|
jazzy
Senior Member
Joined: 16 January 2009
Points: 8858
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 14 June 2010 at 5:47pm |
The dishwasher packed a sad on the weekend & not sure if I want it fixed as my kitchen looks cleaner & DH has been doing the dishes
I have started my big clean & have been wiping down walls, windows all wood bits & the place is starting to sparkle again (still a way to go) & DH has been taking down the curtains & put them back up for me...so he is being very helpful & without me asking
|
|
Babe
Senior Member
Joined: 21 May 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 2936
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 15 June 2010 at 11:04am |
Well my DP has the flu and thinks hes dying lol but he keeps trying to get up and make me cuppas since thats all hes got energy for 
|
|
|
|
tictacjunkie
Senior Member
Joined: 30 April 2010
Points: 2278
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 16 June 2010 at 4:23pm |
|
Hi, haven't read much of the thread but thought I'd put in my 2 cents. DH works away, a lot, we can go for 6 mths at a time only having him home every 2nd weekend, so while I get to juggle 4 children by myself he's eating at restaurants & sleeping peacefully in motels, so when he is home I expect him to help, which he does, normally without me asking, =). When we were both working & we had only 2 children I still did more of the house stuff than him- but I'm fussier than him too!
|
|
tictacjunkie
Senior Member
Joined: 30 April 2010
Points: 2278
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 16 June 2010 at 4:29pm |
|
Oh & finances, I have full financial control in our house, but DH knows exactly whats going on. We have one joint account, a minimal mortgage, no credit cards, no hp, no o/d. As long as the bills are paid, the pantry's full, & when DH needs something he can get it then he's happy! Works well for us. =)
|
|
Helping out or not..
