RANT Trying for over a year...

Hey Flipsta - you are lucky ... my lap cost almost $10000 - so yeah Thank goodness for insurance!!

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bit backwards in the head. We just passed our 2 year mark at the beginning of the year and I find that I'm actually less stressed and less upset about not getting pg each month. I guess because I just don't expect to anymore - am totally expecting that we will need to do IVF. But I've also come to accept that it might not happen for us and that we may never have kids and I think that makes it easier. And it also helps that I'm now moving on with my life and not putting stuff on hold anymore. Am back at uni and really enjoying it and its doing wonders for taking my mind off things

They suspected endo - and it turned out I had stage 3 and that it had rearranged my insides so they excised the endo and relocated my ovaries. Then I had to have another lap 3 months later to make sure that my ovaries had stayed where he put them - and that was another $5000 or something.

I kind of alternate with how I feel. Most of the time I just feel tired of it all and sometimes I think about maybe putting it on hold until I finish my grad dip but then I think I'd had to get to 40 an regret not having kids. I don't think I'd ever regret having them but I probably would regret not having them.

I had more tests done yesterday and the specialist thinks that I might not being Oing properly and I broke down with DH last night and was just like what if it's not meant to happen. It seems that every time they fix one thing, something else breaks. It just seems so hard but everyone else can get pg so easily (my mum told me last week that my cousin is pg again - this is her 4th). But I'm feeling a bit better today. I figure we will do everything we can (although I'm having doubts about doing IVF) and then if it still doesn't happen then I'm pretty sure I can live with it.

Gee Emily, it sounds like you have had a rotten time of it. How come you had to pay and it was not through public system?
It sucks to keep having these things happen but hopefully they can fix the ovulation fx.
The hard thing is to think about living life with no kids. It is not just the babies but when they are grown up and having the same sort of relationship I have with my Mum...that makes me sad.

Chickielou and Emily.....big

I am sorry about the MC Chickielou and Emily I totally know what you mean about everyone else getting pg! I am pretty sure my SIL is preggers although they haven't announced it yet..this will be their 2nd and my best mate is preggers with her 3rd and I get frustruated and envious. Can't do a darn thing about it though.

You are doing all you can and let's keep positive to hope that this year is the year for all of us

Emily - Feels great to be able to vent on here. I think I would go cuckoo if I couldn't!!

I am organising a baby shower for my friend who is preggers with her 3rd and at times I have wanted to just not want any part of it....made me feel pretty crappy.   She actually asked me to do it I wouldn't have done it otherwise I don't think. I actually thought I would be fine sorting it all out but it has been a bit of a roller coaster especially as I know it is just going to be ALL talk about babies and all the woman talking about how they got pregnant , blah blah, blah.......whatever!!

However, she is a very good friend and I have to put aside all my feelings and be there for her on the day.

As for your work colleague you must feel like shaking her!

Edited by Flipsta