To day care or not....

I put Megan into daycare at 19 months for 10 hours a week (2 5 hour days) I was around 16 weeks pregnant and she is pretty full on.

I used that time to either catch up on housework or have a rest.

I dont see anything wrong with wanting to have a bit of time out, and its not like you would be putting her in daycare for 40 hours a week.

in saying that I havent seen the need to put my 20 month old son in daycare and will likely wai till he starts kindy

Edited by NovemberMum

I had trouble with this also. I worked in the weekends so did not need others caring for DS1, but did not have help from family so there was no break.

When DS1 was 2yrs old I put him into our work daycare. The building was next to DH's office so any problems he could get him. I spent the time shopping, visiting friends & hanging out by the work pool We had moved 80kms away so I felt pretty isolated from friends. I found it hard to leave DS1 even for 1 day & it took him awhile to settle in. I got a second job at the same company & worked 3 days a week as well as the weekends so he ended up going 3 days a week. DS2 was born a couple of mths before DS1 turned 4yrs.

I also put him in our local daycare in the county for 2 days a week & after DS2 was born I took him out of the work daycare & kept him in the local one.

After being a full-time stay at home mum & working a weekend night job 1 day off a week was great & it got him used to others & prepared for kindy. It was also great having 1 on 1 time with DS2 when he was born.

DS2 was 17mths when DS3 was born & I did not put him in to any care till he was old enough for kindy. DS3 slept 2x a day & DS2 had 1x a sleep a day, so I still got time with him, things done & made time for DS3...but I was ready for him to start kindy when he did I never got a break though.

I think the only thing that got to me sometimes was the travelling to drop off & pick up, some days that was hard.

I think you will always have doubts & guilt over leaving your child with someone but once they settle in & you get used to it you will both love it. I was always told 2 days was better than one for settling, guess it depends on the child as well & I would have plans for you day/s off to start with..even if its sorting out stuff/shopping/appts etc

Edited by jazzy

I haven't put DS into daycare, it never crossed my mind!

DS was nearly 15 months when DD was born so it started out a little hard to keep him entertained while I got to grips with BF'ing and trying to juggle them both, but after a few weeks it just became normal

I guess My feelings are that I am a SAHM and if I was to put him into daycare it would be further down the track if/when we felt it was the right time, not just because DD came along. I am fortunate however that my MIL doesn't work so DS goes to visit one afternoon a week after his nap and that's when I can catch up on housework.

In saying that, DD is a very good sleeper so in the times she is up during the day, we all spend together and then when she's tired she goes down to sleep and then I spend the rest of the time with DS.

Edited by MrsEmma

I've got DD in care 4 days a week atm, while I work. I'll be going on mat leave at 37 weeks, and my last day at work will be her last day at daycare. She's my kid - no-one can take better care of her than I can, so if I'm able, I will.

Plus daycare is so germ ridden, I'm hoping she'll be healthier at home, and not bring bugs home to me, DH and the new baby.

I can see the attraction of having the time out, but there is so much more I could do with the money, and I think it's pretty easy to join a play group or similar to get DD some interaction with other kids without having to pay someone else to provide it.

From having one hard-work baby, I do wonder how the heck I'll cope with two, but honestly, if I'd known how hard this one was gonna be, I'd have been worried how I'd cope with her on her own. But I did, cos that's just what you do

Neither of mine have been in daycare and while I'm a sahm they won't.
With two at homeyou just have to be organised, have a basket of toys,books, food for the older child while you feed. I did meal prep while they were napping. We have no family support either and we do fine.
Plus if your older child is home you can get them involved in helping out with baby which can help them adjust to the new addition.
Like T Rexsaid there are play groups , Playcentre and a few other activities you can do.

I would have loved to do this with my DD1 before DD2 came (and continuing once she arrived) but we live rurally so there is no where close by. It would have given me a break from DD1, her a break from the baby and i wouldnt have felt so guilty about not being able to do all the fun stuff with her outside we would normally have done. TBH i probably would've felt guilty for sending her but for us, it would have been good

DS1 was already in daycare when DS2 came along because I had been working...it was only after DS2 was born that I gave up work. Had he not been in daycare already I can't imagine deciding to put him in if I wasn't planning on working though. Because he was already in daycare he decided he still wanted to go, though would have kept him home had he not wanted to go, and I have to say the one-to-one attention DS2 got in the day was wonderful...but he was a fairly 'easy' baby anyway. DS1 was much older though as well, he had just turned 4 when DS2 was born, which I think helped.

We've had no family support at all this time around as we emigrated to NZ when DS1 was 2.5 years old so we've just found ways to cope. I currently have them both at home because of school holidays and though some days are challenging, we've had lots of fun too.

We are currently debating whether to enrol DS2 at kindy...though IMO it's not 'necessary' so I'm not that bothered whether he goes or not. LOL I enjoy being at home with him, well most days anyway and he gets plenty of 'socialisation'.

Bizzy wrote: Its entirely up to you of course. Me, i cant get my head around people who put their kids into daycare when they are quite capable of caring for them themselves. But my kids do do kindy when they hit 3 and to some people thats pretty much the same thing.

Really!! I can't see how kindy is the same thing, it's the start of preparing them for school.

To the OP, I'm sure there is something about 9 hours free childcare???? Maybe look into putting her some where for 2 days 4 1/2 hours a day? If you can't get that in a day care, look at going to a homebased carer & put her in on the days that have group activities.

I am due in 4 weeks time and my DD (2yrs 8 months) has been in daycare (for over 2's) for the last 4 weeks, she does 2 days, at the moment these are the days I work but once baby is here she will keep going because she really enjoys it and for me it means I know she is getting to do lots of activities and interact with other kids which won't be as easy once there is a baby as well. I don't feel guilty about it but then she is older and nearly 3 anyway, so would of been off to kindy before long anyway.

Personally for me if she was younger I would of not put her in daycare, but thats just me and I also have access to family help who would look after her during the day if need be.

At the end of the day do what is right for you and your kids. All the best for number 2.

DS was already in daycare 3-4days a week (I did contract work so the days changed each week) when I was pg, so we dropped him down to 2 days a week when I went on maternity leave at about 34wks. He turned 2 the week DD was born. I did feel a bit guilty leaving him in for 2 days at that age, but as he'd been going already and loved his time with his friends, and would be going back by the time he turned 3, we decided it was better to keep him in at the minimum time (2 days) than have to re-settle him later. It also gave him a bit of stability with a new bub in the house ... and a break from the new bub. I used those days to catch up on housework and rest, and it really helped with my recovery. It gave me one-on-one time with DD too -- which she definitely would not have had much of with an active just turned two year old around.

I did cope on the days with both of them at home and it was easier than I thought it would be, but it was hard going at times and relentless as DD got a bit older (not the best day sleeper) so it was really nice to have two days where I could rest if I needed to, or just take one kid to the supermarket or out to do chores - then spend more quality time with DS on the other days.

I'm not sure if I would have done it if he hadn't already been in there. But I'm glad we did, and for us (DS, DD and me) I think it was the right thing to do. If you can afford it and you think it will be good for your family, go for it!

Just another thought - a friend of mine who has a smaller gap than me had both at home til her DS went to kindy at 3 ... and then she realised how little attention her DD had received with DS always there, and is loving the one-on-one time with her DD she is getting now (and the break from her active rowdy DS!)

Edited by Nikki