VB or C-Section to avoid further damage?

Hi Ladies,
So DS was born in theatre with the help or forceps and epesiostomy after being induced and aprox 3.5 hours pushing (he was posterior and was just not coming out)

After the birth I developed an anal fissure, which is a tear inside the anal canal. The muscles spasm when you go No2's and it re-opens and bleeds. It was honestly the most horrendous pain ever and I was in tears and screaming everytime I had to go to the toilet
I would have to soak in hot baths 3 times a day, I found it painful to walk and some days had to feed DS lying down because it hurt too much to sit. I was all booked in to have surgery for it, but couldn't at the last minute. The specialist had to cancel the op because the drugs I had to have could not be taken while BF, and would stay in my system for 3 months.
It was such a difficult time and looking back I think I developed or was close to PND as a result.

Anyway.....it's a long story really, but this fissure ruled my life for about 8 months. 12 months after the birth and I still have it, but no where near as bad. It flared up a bit over Xmas with the crap food I ate, but it's manageable now.

I am scared to death about doing even more damage with pushing during another VB (we are planning to TTC early this year) and I know there are cases where woman have lost all control in that area as a result of trauma, and I don't want to end up soiling my pants for the rest of my life I also don't think I could cope with going through that agony again with 2 children to care for.

My question is (finally ) Do you think I should be considering an elective C-Section or would you try VB and take the risk?? A midwife friend and my mum and sister who are both nurses said there is no way they would risk another VB. Has anyone experieced a situation like this before or anyone with any thoughts about it?
I know it's something I have to talk through with my Dr and midwife. But am wondering wat you lovely ladies think.

Same, I think I would be looking into the C-sect route too...

Although there are other risks with that too...

c/s I think. Sure c/s are harder to recover from than a straightforward natural birth but I think it would aggravate the problem even more so would be more painful than a c/s recovery

go with an elective i've had 2 and the recovery is not that bad i was up walking around the next day and back to normal just a bit tender. You just have to take it easy for a few weeks but i had no issues.
go with an elective best birth expereince ever

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

I know there are risks with a C-section too, and of course that wouldn't be my ideal option, but I guess at the end of the day like you say Pillow_Fight, the recovery from a C-section is likely to be much quicker than what I've had to put up with.

I really hoped (as you do) that THIS time round I'd be able to push baby out on my own and that the birth wouldn't be such a terrifying experience......I guess at the end of the day as long as everyone is healthy it doesn't really matter.

I will be interested to see what midwife/OB says, but I want to be a bit informed myself incase they put the ball in my court.

That sounds like a lot to suffer through, you poor thing. Are you still looking at doing the op?

Do you know what the chances are of making it worse? If eating a rich diet makes it worse it sounds like it might not take much

I'd opt for the c-section too. It will probably be a walk in the park compared to what you've been through! I had an emergency c-section and the recovery was a lot easier than yours.

i would go for an elective. I had a horrendous first VB too, not a fissure but serious damage done that is still not fixed 2 and a half years on. I went for an elective with my 2nd and boy i am soooo glad i did! It was amazing! Recovery was absolutly sweatless compared with my VB.

ETA: my midwife and various others were mentioning that i should try for a VB and i am very very glad i went with my instincts and stuck with the ELCS.

Edited by MuppetsMama

Exactly, and that was my deciding factor - it would be ME that had to suffer if it didn't work.
My midwife was great - she even came to the hospital and was with me throughout the CS, which she didn't have to do (she is an independant, and the hospital like to use their ones normally - Middlemore). She did want me to deliver naturally if I could, as she is big on being as natural as possible, and she mentioned it pretty much every time i saw her (along the lines of, "are you still wanting to go ahead with the elective?") but she still respected my decision and never pushed me. She's awesome
Be firm on what you want, whatever you decide, and don't let ANYONE push you into doing something you don't want to do! It's your body, and you are the one that deals with the outcome, good or bad, so it is your decision. Yes it is true that VB is better for mum and baby, in general - but in cases like our first births, an emergency would have been better I think! My 9lb 6oz DD was black with not breathing when she was born.
The hospital staff will potentially be pretty pushy for you to have a VB, they were constantly asking me why I was having an elective, even on the morning I was due to have one. So you do have to be sure in your mind, and perhaps even have it written down on paper.

Good advice TheKelly, and funnily enough Dr Oz said the same thing on TV yesterday ;) He said make sure you OB or midwife is on the same page as you and supports what you want, if not find one that will.

Part of me feels like "Oh suck it up, natural is best you will just have to deal with whatever happens" But then there is a lot of pressure to have a VB and elective CS seem to be looked down on unless absolutely unavoidable....Bloody society.

The other part of me knows there is potential to do real damage and my health both physical/mental are imoprtant factors too!

I think you have every reason to have a Csect and if anyone says anything then I would mention what happened last time and then see what they say!

At the end of the day it is completely your choice and I agree that you need anyone who is going to be involved in the birth on the same page as you because you are the one who is going to have to go through it all, not them so it's your choice - not theirs.