How did you decide to have another?

Hey

DH has announced that he wouldn't mind a number 3
I have always wanted another, but DH wasn't too keen, and now that he IS keen I am sort of freaking out wondering whether I have thought about this properly.

There are so many pros and cons and I just can't work out whether I do or not! Today the kids drove me up the wall, and I was almost in tears 10 mins ago wondering how on earth I would cope if I had a newborn to deal with as well
I had terrible morning sickness with Janaya but with Jackson it wasn't so bad. I just don't know what I'll do if it's bad and I can't get out of bed to take care of them :(

On the other hand, I was cuddling my close friends 1 day old baby 2 days ago and got goosebumps. And I get really excited at the thought of having another child and creating a whole new person is so exciting!
I'm already at home with the kids so I just wonder whether I should just do it now.

Does the cluckiness ever stop? How did you know it was time to "stop" having kids? I already have one of each so I wonder if I should just be happy with what I have got.

TIA

Edited by kaiz231

Lol! Yeah that thought is in my mind too.

I'm from a family of 4. My sister's got 4. Before we were married, I always told DH I wanted 6, so if he agreed to that I could always negotiate down later.
I've got just the one and can't wait for DH to say we can start trying for #2

We are having discussions like this at the moment too. I'm kind of thinking its now (soon) or never as I feel we are just getting through the hard baby stuff with James and I wouldnt want to get too comfy before going through it again. Its also a bit like putting things on hold while you get through those intensive early years. But I dont think I am quite ready for No 3 right now. I'm also 37 so dont have too long to dither on this one. I really dont know. DH and I always said 3 and now he's happy with 2.

we are going through this too, basically have given ourselves a year to pay bills, and get a new car...and then if we want we can have no. 3. scary stuff i know. I have no idea what we will decide but the only thing we have decided is that I will stay home for two years with the baby. so, i am no help at all.

I know what you mean LF, that's exactly what I thought. I have never been dead set against another (maybe during the first few hours after birth, and when I'd had an hours sleep over 3 days!) and I'm sure it would work out.

Lizzle I think we might do the same as you, get a bigger car first, then look at no3. I'm only 25 so I've got another 20 odd years of child bearing left in me

lilfatty wrote: Anyway, what Im trying to say is, I am of the opinion that if your heart tells you that its time for another, thats God whispering in your ear .. and everything will work out in the end.

That's beautiful Julia

I agree with that too. I have 2 now. I've always wanted 4. Even though I know that more than 2 means a bigger car, house and bye bye career I still want 4. When we first had Morgan and she was a week old I already knew our family wasn't yet complete. Whether I'll be able to manage another I'm not sure so maybe my head will win out later and we'll stop at 2 but at the moment I'm already storing up names for the next one.

I wish I new the answer to this one. Today has been a shocker of a day and I can say I havent been able to get the thought of a Newborn off my mind.

If you had asked me last year I would have said a quite adamant 'No more!' Our house is too small, Our car is too small, There is an even adult to child ratio, we are finally though the hard yearsI dont drive So many logical reasons not to have a third. Oh and I am s#!t scared of having a boy. And I really felt quite happy with my 2 girls, like we were complete.

But recently DH said the same thing, that he wouldn't mind another one. I think of my kids all grown up and there only being 2 of them doesn't feel complete. I dont think I could get any cluckier, I head a newborn grunt the other and had to really stop myself bursting into tears. I was talking to someone today who just found out they were unexpectedly pregnant with number 3 and someone else trying to concieve and when they asked if I wanted more I said no but once again really had to hold back the tears. They knew I wasn't telling the truth and said straight up that if I am feeling like this then I should really follow my gut.

I dont know.... the feeling is so strong but then what if it is just a clucky ohase I will be over in a week??? Do I really want to plan it?? I would seriously be quite happy to accidently find I am pregnant..... Garggg.... I am already in tears just typing this, what is wrong with me?!?!?

I am sorry Kylie I really haven't helped you one bit (I think you should have a third)

Edited by Daizy

I'm reading this with interest cos we have just decided that 2 will be it for us (97% sure). We would both kinda like a third. There are so many reasons why we think this is it though - financial, practical, age etc..... like bigger car, no spare room, I'm already 35, want to get back to my career at some point soon, daycare costs, want to travel more, need to pay off some of the mortgage .... and also the amount of time and money/resources each child will get decreasing as there are more of them.
DH comes from a family of 5 kids(all boys), so likes the idea of one more (a brother for Jake). I'm from a family of 2 kids (girls), so think it would be lovely for Morgan to have a sister.

I don't really want to be pregnant again, or have another c section (have had two now, so will have to have another), or go through the sleep disruption again (dont cope well even though both kids have been "good" sleepers ..... I'd probably lose the plot with a bad sleeper!!). And I'd love to be able to start selling or giving away all the baby crap cluttering up the house!!

We have one of each so I also think we should just be happy they are both now healthy (Jake had a major heart defect and surgery at 6 weeks - would HATE to go through that again, or worse) and get on with life.

Also one thing my mum pointed out recently - if theres 3 kids then one always seems to be left out or not get on as well as the other two. I was actually going to post and see if people from 3 kid familys felt that?!?

The 80% chance of having another set of twins decides for me that we will stick to three children. That and the VERY strong dislike of people movers haha. When the girls were new borns I kept thinking "Oh thank god I don't have to go through this stage again." And even though I am quite certain we don't want more I can't help but feel a little emotional that this is the last time I will be looking after babies. Yeah I know they are only 4 month old but they are growing up sooooo very fast!