pregnancy and housework etc...

i think you are hard done by:( sorry... i do not have other kids...but there are some days )when i was working) and even now sometimes) that I just don't feel like I can do much...my DH has gotten mad over it and we have seemed to reach a comprimise.. but really if you feel anything like I do you are doing an amazing amount of work:(

they just don't seem to realise that 'doing nothing' is really hard work and not being lazy and that , as is the case with you you are still doing heaps..he's just annoyed he's having to do more than usual!!!:( When i was pregnant last time he fawned all over me..and this time he will massage if i ask but never offers, he does make me tea though and things are a bit different now i am at home full time..

Yeah I think you're getting a bit of a rough deal.
This is my first pregnancy and my DH actually tells me to sit down while he does housework (mind you the novelty might wear off soon)and I don't spend all day looking after another child either.

I think your DH needs to understand that those kinds of housekeeping standards are just not maintainable when you're pregnant and if he really really needs to have the house in that state then he's going to have to accept he'll have to do more himself.

It sounds like you're doing quite a lot as it is. You must be exhausted.

Kaiz - I'm feeling ya!

I swear, I just want to tear my DF's head off some days. So fear not, you're not alone.

Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, but sometimes the lack of understanding and unwillingness to accept the fact that we're no longer the spry, nimble creatures we once were (you know, the ones with HEAPS of energy who could go on and on and on and on... Just like the Duracell Bunny) it gets you down.

It's bad enough that I sit round home all day every day, bored out of my mind, having done the most work I could bring myself to do (usually the dishes, as these are never done after dinner... Did I mention that it's supposed to be his job? The ONLY one I ask of him) and he comes home and things are still in a slight state of disarray... But for him to come home and actually SAY "Hun, what HAVE you done today? It doesn't look like you've done anything! You know I can't unwind when I get home from work and the house is messy, it just stresses me out more"

But Of course I don't want to argue with him about it as he is the sole breadwinner and works every day to provide for me... I feel bad enough about that, and find it super hard trying to ask him to help out and do something minor makes me feel even worse.

I did snap at him the other day and tell him he better get used to it, cos as soon as baby arrives, I'm gonna have NO time to do jack sh*t... So he better get used to either a: doing his bit, or b: living in a bit of organised chaos.

Grrr, men - Can't live with 'em... Can't live without 'em.

Hahaha - My thoughts exactly after clicking "Post Reply"

Phew, im glad you all agree!
yes, im really worried about when the little one is born and the state the house may be in when he gets home. i have no doubt he will ask what id done all day (he did this when i was home with our first child - i ended up moving home to mum and dads because i had PND)

what actually happened last night is he'd said "do the casserole dish so i can do the dishes, im not doing them until you do it, or do i have to do EVERYTHING again tonight?"
i had only just sat down at 8pm (was home at 5.30) and i just looked at him thinking "OMG!!" anyway, i think ive got carpel tunnel and id told him earlier on that my wrist is really sore. he told me he was tired and was going to bed, so i decided to be a hero and attempt the dish and rest of dishes.

bad idea, filled it up with boiling water, tried to drain it but my wrist gave way and the boiling water splashed all over me, and the sink filled with water overflowed and flooded the floor.....so i start sobbing away..
anyway, daughter came to see what was wrong, went up and told DH..

he comes downstairs and tells me to bugger off and he'll do the dishes, tells me i dont do them properly anyway..

so i completely lost the plot (As you would) felt like punching him over but resort to grabbing his cell phone and throw it on the ground..

he then retaliates with the remote.. his phone is fine though..

i asked him why he hadnt asked if i was ok from the burns, and he played "dumb". ive asked mum if i can come and stay for a few days to calm down and shes kinda said no, and doesnt think its a good idea.

ive NEVER EVER had an arguement like this with dh before!!

I disagree - being pregnant shouldnt be an excuse and if you have done all that much pr pregnancy why should he expect it to change. My feeling is if you both work then the at home work should be split equally too and if you have prev done it all then you have really made a rod for your own back.

kawwww wrote: comments like that really annoy me:( sorry but pregnancy affects people differently and what you did before pregnancy really can become irrelevant...times change..people change and pregnancy affects everyone differently...esp energy levels and especially needing support from others.

Well said, I know that when I was pregnant there was absolutely no way I could do everything I did pre pregnancy. It takes a huge toll on some people and I think her husband should be showing some consideration.
And if she did do everything before being pregnant he should be counting himself lucky that he got away with it for so long not bitching about it now.
Unfortunately attitudes like that are what make men think they can treat their women with little or no respect!!!!

I was going to suggest the when he says 'Do I have to do everything' answer yes. Sounds like his idea of Everything is your idea of something.
I have to agree with GandT if you've let him get away with not doing much around the house until now, he's unlikely to change. 'Men don't change, ever'.

Just to add - don't worry too much about the argument. DH and I have had some doozies since I've been pregnant. He's had water thrown at him more than once.

That is the stupidest thing I have ever read!!!!!
No men don't get pregnant but they aren't retards either, they are more than capable of reading a book, or going to a midwife visit or talking to their wife, and to say that you get a bit tired and throw up a bit, yeah you might doesn't mean it is the same for everyone.
Ok maybe she does need to sit down and talk to her DH about a few things so that he realises but quite frankly a guy would have to live under a rock to not know already that pregnancy takes its toll on women.
And more importantly she had PND after her first baby so really he should know to be more sensitive to her needs.