pregnancy and housework etc...
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11917
Printed Date: 16 August 2025 at 6:35pm
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Topic: pregnancy and housework etc...
Posted By: Snappy
Subject: pregnancy and housework etc...
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 11:22am
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hi ladies
Me and DH had a very big arguement last night (its not the first time) around being pregnant and duties around the house and our daughter. Ive never come home and just "flopped" (as much as i feel like it) nor have i ever not cooked dinner or done a reasonable amount of housework before going to bed, even in the early weeks with morning sickness etc..ive pretty much worked myself each night until i physically cant take any more. DH is complaining that he is doing "everything" and that im using pregnancy and soreness as an exuse to get out of everything. obviously frustrating when i work all day and come home and spend AT LEAST 2 hours at night doing tea/lunches/vacuming/getting janaya to bed etc. I just wondered whether things changed around the house when you ladies were pregnant? did DH help out a bit more, give you a back rub etc? or did things stay the same? I just dont know whether im hard done by or should be counting myself lucky? ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Replies:
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 11:28am
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i think you are hard done by:( sorry... i do not have other kids...but there are some days )when i was working) and even now sometimes) that I just don't feel like I can do much...my DH has gotten mad over it and we have seemed to reach a comprimise.. but really if you feel anything like I do you are doing an amazing amount of work:(
they just don't seem to realise that 'doing nothing' is really hard work and not being lazy and that , as is the case with you you are still doing heaps..he's just annoyed he's having to do more than usual!!!:( When i was pregnant last time he fawned all over me..and this time he will massage if i ask but never offers, he does make me tea though and things are a bit different now i am at home full time.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 11:42am
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thought so :) thanks kawwww
my DH is a tidy neat freak and spends a lot of time making everything freakishly neat and tidy (he even refolds the clothes i get out for our daughter for creche!) He does have very high standards of cleanliness which is hard to live with. i think he seems to think us women made a pact to pretend to be sore during pregnancy and write books about it to! ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 12:15pm
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Yeah I think you're getting a bit of a rough deal.
This is my first pregnancy and my DH actually tells me to sit down while he does housework (mind you the novelty might wear off soon)and I don't spend all day looking after another child either. I think your DH needs to understand that those kinds of housekeeping standards are just not maintainable when you're pregnant and if he really really needs to have the house in that state then he's going to have to accept he'll have to do more himself. It sounds like you're doing quite a lot as it is. You must be exhausted.  -------------  
 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 12:22pm
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mine just didn't realise this all stated before bubs was born...it's really been a wake up call for him.. he is also a neat freak..though not as bad as others and I'm naturally messy which doesn't help...!:( OMG to refolding the clothes for creche..he'd be doing everything himself if that was the case cause I'd feel like nothing was good enough...:( you are doing a GREAT job:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 12:23pm
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Kaiz - I'm feeling ya!
I swear, I just want to tear my DF's head off some days. So fear not, you're not alone. Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, but sometimes the lack of understanding and unwillingness to accept the fact that we're no longer the spry, nimble creatures we once were (you know, the ones with HEAPS of energy who could go on and on and on and on... Just like the Duracell Bunny) it gets you down. It's bad enough that I sit round home all day every day, bored out of my mind, having done the most work I could bring myself to do (usually the dishes, as these are never done after dinner... Did I mention that it's supposed to be his job? The ONLY one I ask of him) and he comes home and things are still in a slight state of disarray... But for him to come home and actually SAY "Hun, what HAVE you done today? It doesn't look like you've done anything! You know I can't unwind when I get home from work and the house is messy, it just stresses me out more" But Of course I don't want to argue with him about it as he is the sole breadwinner and works every day to provide for me... I feel bad enough about that, and find it super hard trying to ask him to help out and do something minor makes me feel even worse. I did snap at him the other day and tell him he better get used to it, cos as soon as baby arrives, I'm gonna have NO time to do jack sh*t... So he better get used to either a: doing his bit, or b: living in a bit of organised chaos. Grrr, men - Can't live with 'em... Can't live without 'em. -------------  My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 12:28pm
I dunno - sometimes I think we could live without 'em for a little while  -------------
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 12:42pm
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Hahaha - My thoughts exactly after clicking "Post Reply"
------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 12:50pm
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There was a similar discussion going on in the First baby? Second or more section the other week... basic consensus was that men have no idea!
My husband recently stopped getting annoyed with me for not getting more than basic stuff done during the day after being home during the school holidays (he's a teacher) and I was sick... all of a sudden, getting a load or two of washing (including nappies - we use cloth) washed, hung out, brought in and folded, changing the boys nappies as needed, changing the boys clothes as needed, keeping the boys away from water (they seem to gravitate towards any possible wetness!), making sure the children are all entertained in various age-appropriate ways, making sure the children all get fed and watered, making sure the boys get their day sleeps as needed, and making dinner/doing dishes was enough! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:02pm
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Phew, im glad you all agree!
yes, im really worried about when the little one is born and the state the house may be in when he gets home. i have no doubt he will ask what id done all day (he did this when i was home with our first child - i ended up moving home to mum and dads because i had PND) what actually happened last night is he'd said "do the casserole dish so i can do the dishes, im not doing them until you do it, or do i have to do EVERYTHING again tonight?" i had only just sat down at 8pm (was home at 5.30) and i just looked at him thinking "OMG!!" anyway, i think ive got carpel tunnel and id told him earlier on that my wrist is really sore. he told me he was tired and was going to bed, so i decided to be a hero and attempt the dish and rest of dishes. bad idea, filled it up with boiling water, tried to drain it but my wrist gave way and the boiling water splashed all over me, and the sink filled with water overflowed and flooded the floor.....so i start sobbing away.. anyway, daughter came to see what was wrong, went up and told DH.. he comes downstairs and tells me to bugger off and he'll do the dishes, tells me i dont do them properly anyway.. so i completely lost the plot (As you would) felt like punching him over but resort to grabbing his cell phone and throw it on the ground.. he then retaliates with the remote.. his phone is fine though.. i asked him why he hadnt asked if i was ok from the burns, and he played "dumb". ive asked mum if i can come and stay for a few days to calm down and shes kinda said no, and doesnt think its a good idea. ive NEVER EVER had an arguement like this with dh before!!  ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:31pm
Oh you poor thing. My DH can be a bit thoughtless sometimes, it was me that started the other thread when DH told me everyday was a day off for me. He has learnt his lesson believe me. He also didn't really understand when I was pregnant and kept calling my upcoming maternity leave my six month holiday . I have to admit though he does do a lot round the house to help out, he definately pulls his weight, although he also likes to make out that he does everything. To which I say, if you do everything why is the house still a mess?
It sounds like your DH has OCD or something to want the place that clean and to be that picky about dishes etc. I actually think it might be good for you two to get a bit of space from each other for just a couple of nights. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:40pm
| I disagree - being pregnant shouldnt be an excuse and if you have done all that much pr pregnancy why should he expect it to change. My feeling is if you both work then the at home work should be split equally too and if you have prev done it all then you have really made a rod for your own back. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:47pm
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comments like that really annoy me:( sorry but pregnancy affects people differently and what you did before pregnancy really can become irrelevant...times change..people change and pregnancy affects everyone differently...esp energy levels and especially needing support from others. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:52pm
Well said, I know that when I was pregnant there was absolutely no way I could do everything I did pre pregnancy. It takes a huge toll on some people and I think her husband should be showing some consideration. And if she did do everything before being pregnant he should be counting himself lucky that he got away with it for so long not bitching about it now. Unfortunately attitudes like that are what make men think they can treat their women with little or no respect!!!! -------------
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kawwww wrote:Posted By: pesky
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:54pm
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I think you are getting a rough deal.
My husband was great when I had a bit of morning sickness and cooked for about 2 months! (I did act a bit helpless to spin it out!) I've been doing the scope study and they ask whether you've been over doing it, and how many times you've felt exhausted etc. I assume they're asking as they think it might have a bearing on low birth weights and prem babies. Could you take your dh to one of your midwife appointments and get her to explain that you can't keep this up, you need a break and for him to be more supportive? Especially if you've had pnd before, you need him on your side not causing more angst! also what are the chances of getting some home help or a cleaner? I get a cleaner once a fortnight and its great, especially to do the bathrooms. at the P&C show i got a brochure for a company called something like Popsicles that do everything a mother does (child care, cleaning etc) at $20 an hour. I'll find the brochure and give you the details. with both of you working, could you justify a couple of hours through until the new babies 3 months or so?? sending you good vibes, and a well earned break. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 1:55pm
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I was going to suggest the when he says 'Do I have to do everything' answer yes. Sounds like his idea of Everything is your idea of something.
I have to agree with GandT if you've let him get away with not doing much around the house until now, he's unlikely to change. 'Men don't change, ever'. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 2:02pm
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fleury I don't know about that.. mine has changed..although it took a while and he's been through a lot recently too..(even though hes not pregnant) i think maybe people expect less of men which is sad:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 2:04pm
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Just to add - don't worry too much about the argument. DH and I have had some doozies since I've been pregnant. He's had water thrown at him more than once. -------------
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 2:30pm
pregnancy is not a disease tho... sure you feel a bit tired or throw up every day for nine months... but if you dont talk to your husband/partner before or when it happens and have clear guidelines about expectations then arguments will happen. Men dont get pregnant and are therefore unable to understand. they have their own stuff going on that we dont understand. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 2:39pm
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That is the stupidest thing I have ever read!!!!!
No men don't get pregnant but they aren't retards either, they are more than capable of reading a book, or going to a midwife visit or talking to their wife, and to say that you get a bit tired and throw up a bit, yeah you might doesn't mean it is the same for everyone. Ok maybe she does need to sit down and talk to her DH about a few things so that he realises but quite frankly a guy would have to live under a rock to not know already that pregnancy takes its toll on women. And more importantly she had PND after her first baby so really he should know to be more sensitive to her needs. -------------
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:07pm
do you really think reading a book is going to give a man any idea of what being pregnant is about? does a book really give any idea of how you feel or what raging hormones do to you? will a book make him understand what having a person growing in you really feels like or how tired you may feel or how sick you may get? i dont think so. we teach men how to treat us and if we let them think that "womens work" is the housework and i will do it till i am bone weary even tho i have already worked as long as you, then why should they think being pregnant is going to be any different. we moan about equal rights but dont put them into practise and then expect to be treated differently when pregnant. Men are not retards but we certainly let them treat us like it sometimes. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:16pm
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I think that it is perfectly reasonable to expect to be treated differently when pregnant because things are different when you are pregnant.
Most men that you don't even know will give up a seat or open a door or help you lift something into your car when you are pregnant but wouldn't otherwise and I think that is reasonable, its hard work being pregnant, and of all men the partner should understand and show consideration the most. I am all for equal rights, but not to the point where pregnant women make themselves ill trying to behave like they did pre pregnancy. And yes I think if they read a book it would help them understand, maybe not completely but it would give them a clue. -------------
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:22pm
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My DH has been really good since I got pregnant ... he cleans the bathroom and the kitchen (as he doesnt want me near the chemicals) ... and on nights when I look tired (or when I look like im about to burst into tears) ... he will make an attempt at dinner, hes getting pretty good too! Honestly Id be lost without him and my house would be a complete tip. Oh and Im not saying hes perfect, he requires prodding about where dirty clothes live (eg not the floor) lol ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:29pm
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Man, I could NEVER have kept up the same pace I did pre-pregnancy!! I think it's important to remember that all pregnancies are different, and where as some ladies can keep on going and really don't feel any different, others get knocked around a fair bit. I have way less energy that I used to, and just manage to get through my working day to come home and collapse. It does kind of offend me when people say things shouldn't change when you get pregnant - I work my butt off just to keep going at work, and it's damn hard. Because it's such an effort to keep going at work, of course I'm a zombie by the time I get home and just need to have a rest. It's not me being lazy, it's not using pregnancy as an excuse or thinking it's a disease - it's me listening to my exhausted body!! It's so important that you listen to your body and rest when you need to - you're doing an amazing job by the sounds of things.
I'm lucky my DH has been really understanding and has been doing more around the house. It's funny cos he's been doing more lately (without being asked that is) than at the beginning of my pregnancy - maybe cos it's more 'obvious' and I look more like a whale!! GandT did make a good comment though about having to communicate with your DH - about how you're feeling, what you need etc. And yeah don't worry about the argument, they're only bad if you don't talk them through later, sort them out and come to a fresh understanding. In fact, sometimes a good old argument can be good to get honest feelings out in the open. I hope you two can have a good chat about it... make sure you tell him exactly how you feel, cos yeah men haven't been pregnant before so they don't know what it's like. We need to tell them and show them just what it's like growing a baby inside!! ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:33pm
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Oh and I agree with Arohanui ... my DH is way more helpful now Ive popped out and waddle around especially as he sees how hard I find things now, he came into the room the other night and saw me struggling to pick something up off the floor lol ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:33pm
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we had talked prior to getting pregnant. i had asked for a bit more support this time.
We both had the flu when i was six weeks pregnant, i was the first to get it, and he didnt have much sympathy for me.but then he got it and wanted me to take care of him, and insisted his was a lot worse than mine, in fact he thought he had meningitis 
i agree with you in some respects GandT, pregnancy isnt a disease, but there are some women who seem to have a bit more trouble than others. there has been times where i have used pregnancy as an exuse. i found myself asking DH to go and get me some icecream from the supermarket even though i was quite capable of going and getting it myself. and i think i asked because i seem to have some sort of dreamed up world where pregnant women rest their feet up and get back massages, and have their DHs/partners fetching anything they need. (ive probably watched far too many movies!!!) im very lucky as DH is a very good househusband and does do his fair share, he just has no sympathy for me whatsoever which is frustrating sometimes ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:51pm
aaahhhhh!!! dont you just love fantasy land. i wish it was like that too. with soft floaty gauzy material and roses and a man at my beck and call.... 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 3:54pm
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I live there ... I get foot rubs too! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 4:08pm
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Yes Julia, we all know how lovely your man is - Haha... How bout telling him to come here and give our men some lessons!
------------- My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 4:18pm
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ah! So they do exist! youre one lucky lady! ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 7:59pm
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Maybe its because he is an import ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 31 October 2007 at 8:13pm
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We went through this too kaiz. When we got married, DH studied full-time and I worked full-time, and I took responsibility for all the housework and he helped out a bit. When I was 2-3mos pg with #1 we were also about to move house, so I told him he had to choose between keeping the washing and dishes up to date or packing. I got the packing job. After #1 was born, I was SAHM and DH still studying full-time so I naturally took on most of the housework, and he would do the lawns and 50% dishes. Or something close to that. At the time I thought it was fair and "what everyone did". But I don't think it's fair now that I'm older, have more kiddies/experience, and have been in and out of work a bit too.
When I was pg with #2 we had a lot of arguments like you are having. #1 was 19mos when #2 was born so I was exhausted for most of the pregnancy - kept on waiting for magically feeling more energetic "in two weeks" for almost the whole pregnancy. He would help out from time to time (each time we had an argument) but things never really changed until after #2 was born. She had silent reflux and screamed herself to sleep every night from 1-3mos. We had no idea what was wrong and the doc didn't know either - until the last 2 weeks of it. We put it down to personality But it meant that I needed a heap more help from DH. I was now looking after 2 under 2, the baby was very unsettled, and when she was 6 weeks old I returned to a 4 hour (two mornings) per week job where I took the kiddies with me. DH was studying full-time and working on the weekends and everything just crumbled in a great big heap. He was exhausted, I was exhausted, and it just wasn't worth it any more. So we had a huge look at our commitments, cut heaps of them down, and he started helping out regularly with things like bedtime routines. Even just having that little time out helped me greatly. He was more aware of things like dishes too.
At the moment DH is SAHD and I am working. We're in our 5th week and still learning heaps. But one thing we're about to do is this: he will write down all the things he can definitely fit around the kids during the day, like dishes and hanging washing, and cooking dinner. Then of what is left we will work out who will take responsibility for what. That way we're not both (or just one of us) thinking of what needs doing and getting bogged down with responsibility. We can leave certain things and just take care of the rest. One of my jobs (that he will pretty much never have to do) will be to change the bedding every week. I think you need to have a good talk with your DH. I don't think moving out at this point will be helpful to your situation. He needs to know that you are exhausted and may be this way - with ups and downs - for the rest of the pregnancy. Looking after your DD is a full-time job on it's own. This is two very difficult concepts for working guys to understand. (Especially if they work set hours and don't have midnight wakings etc going on.) Tell him that you are happy to do [whatever amount of housework that you feel capable of] and that that leaves particular jobs that you need help with: 1, 2, 3, 4. Whatever they are. You are not able to do those on a regular basis until further notice so he'll either need to help out or you'll need to employ someone to do them. If you are working as well, don't try to take on more than 50% of the house! You'll just overwhelm yourself. This is a big communication test but you can do it! It's worth it, for the future of your family  ------------- |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 01 November 2007 at 10:14am
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THANK YOU all ladies for your advice :)
in the end mum refused to have me stay last night, id been emailing her yesterday and she had been forwarding my emails on to my dad. dad called to see if i wanted to him to talk to DH etc.. (all i wanted was somewhere to stay last night )
Anyway, DH started texting me, saying he didnt mean to say the things he said. we needed to go grocery shopping, and i had to go home last night so in the end i went home after work. we havent really talked about the underlying issues yet.. but we are back in talking terms, which is a start. he asked me last night if i "needed anything". i was a bit confused thinking he meant from the supermarket! I think hes feeling incredibly guilty  ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 01 November 2007 at 10:46am
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i'm glad your mum didnt let you stay...running away doesnt solve problems. My sil is always upping and running to her mums, she did it before they got married and has done so several times since then too.
anyway i would give it a day or two and then maybe talk about how you would like to change the houseworking arrangements. Not sure how old your daughter is either but maybe she can be involved too and start doing her bit as well! Take care.
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 01 November 2007 at 10:54am
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Well i can relate alot to everything you have said.
I done everything throughout my pregnancy, and i still do, nothing changed. Everyone told me that if hes like that then he will be like that now, and they were right. I too got the flu early on in my pregnancy and was bedridden, he didnt care, he didnt bring me soup or rub my feet, he didnt fill up a hot water bottle or change the channel for me. He got the flu off me i think and he moaned like a b***h all day everyday. altho i have no advice, i do suggest talking to him and telling him exactly how you feel, dont leave anything out.. im regreting not sorting my problems before my daughter atrrived ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 02 November 2007 at 7:07am
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Man, I can't do nearly as much as I did pre-pregnancy! I have had to stop my studies and even though I am home all day, can barely get anything very productive achieved, so it seems. I think if all that changes is that you feel "a bit more tired and throw up a few times", then you are bl**dy lucky!! I don't even know how I would have coped so far if I already had another child to look after as well. I would have had to get my mum to help, or get some home help or something. Every pregnancy is different, and I don't think anyone should expect someone to live up to what someone else could do when they were pregnant.
I'm really lucky though, my DH is really understanding. There have been a few times where he has been tired and cranky, but that's fair enough when he has been working all day. But for the first 5 months he did all of the cooking (I couldn't even be in the kitchen without throwing up), as well as basically all of the cleaning, since I couldn't really get out of bed. I felt really bad about it but he pulled his weight and only complained minimally... this is even though he has been working over 40 hours a week on his feet! I think the reason that he is so understanding is because we talk about everything, and I always explain everything... like, I don't just say "I feel like crap, you do it"... I try and explain what it is like to feel that way and make him think about how he would feel. It doesn't take much, most guys aren't as idiotic as we think  they just have no idea what it's like!
I'm lucky like lilfatty, though, I have a wonderful DH who tries to pamper me and look after me. (Not to say we don't ever bicker, but it's always over pretty quickly). Sounds to me like your DH doesn't really understand and he's tired and probably feeling a bit alone. Make sure that when he does help you out or ask if you need anything, that you make him feel really appreciated so that he knows he is doing something that helps. Guys like to fix things and get frustrated when nothing seems to help, and then they give up. That's my experience anyway!! Sorry for the super long post! Hugs ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: lucky3rdtime
Date Posted: 02 November 2007 at 1:56pm
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I think you guys need to have a serious talk about your household arrangements and maybe what's at the heart of the issue. Also why is he such a neat freak to that extent, can he relax the controls a bit?
I am lucky, DH has always been pretty good and we both cook and clean equal amounts, plus we both equally do gardening etc. But its something I was always wary of from the start anyway, we both work full time and there is no way I was going to get into a relationship where I do all the cooking and cleaning, he even irons his own workshirts and considers it HIS job. I think when we first started living together we kind of decided that we would cook alternate nights during the week and the cleaning sort of fell into place, he would get the guilts if I was in the bathroom too long cos he would know I was cleaning it so next thing I'd hear the vacuum cleaner start up .
Not that we are perfect by any means I still have the odd tanty about stuff and we do argue sometimes but we have a pretty good system going. It will be interesting to see how it changes once bubs comes along, but we'll deal with that then. He is also really good with me being pregnant, he won't let me lift heavy stuff and if I've been in the kitchen for ages he always asks if I need a hand or if I'm okay. but I have had a good pregnancy so far, I mostly feel fine so can do most of what I used to pre-pregnancy, but I know if I couldn't he wouldn't hesitate to cook extra meals or do more cleaning. |