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Shezamumof3 
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 Topic: Need a little advice ladies
Posted: 01 October 2007 at 7:27pm |
EDIT-Can some please change the spelling in my title I spelt Advice with a s lol ahhh
I just started a new job today, and I didnt know that I pregnant when I went for the interview, found out I was preg last Thursday 
I dont know when to tell my manager that I am expecting....I was talking to her today about my m/c and she told me she is about to undergo IVF, and I felt so bad standing there 4 weeks pregnant after only a few months of trying and she has been trying for 2 years! 
Ive told her I have to go for blood tests next Tuesday becasue Ive been feeling "Icky" latley.
She also said that Im too young for kids and that I should go out and have fun before I start a family!!  I mean MAN im 25 in December!! Im not exactly a baby myself! She also seemed shocked that I was getting married after only being with DF for a year, by that stage I thought "Geez I wont be telling her he is a fair bit younger than me then!!"
The other thing is that some of the stuff in the store is rather heavy and Im scared Ill lose the baby from heavy lifting.
Im SO co0nfused  Do you think its best for everyone if I tell her i am pregnant?
Edited by Sheza
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busymum
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 7:50pm |
Sheza, I wouldn't feel bad for announcing your pgcy for the reason that she is trying. Sadly it's a fact of life that some people try for longer than others, and no one really knows why.
Is part of your job description lifting? Or is it just one of those things that everyone does a bit of, so wouldn't cause too much trouble if you said you couldn't lift?
My advice is to tell her that you are pg. If it's easier for you, tell her after the bloods results come back that they have confirmed a pgcy. Go ahead and let her know that you didn't know you were pg at the interview if you like, but it shouldn't make too much difference. Do you know what your plans are for (e.g.) working up to due date etc? Taking maternity leave and coming back? If you don't and she asks, just let her know that you and your DF haven't yet decided. She can't discriminate against you for being pg but it is important for them (and for you being able to relax) that they know because of the lifting. And you'll feel much better once she knows anyway - has to be done sometime.
As for comments about settling down etc, my FIL told us that when we got married too, but it wasn't what we wanted to do! We're just coming up to the end of his recommended 5 year wait and we have 3 kiddies hehe  Everyone has personal feelings on whether to wait etc. If she knew you were trying to get pg but it wasn't yet, and she was trying to get you to relax (bearing in mind that she is 2years down a long TTC road), she might have said that from that kind of perspective.
Oh and btw, I'll be 25 in November
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kebakat
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 7:56pm |
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I'd let her know and don't feel bad about it at all!
As for her comment about you and ya man. Tell her there are people out there who got engaged after 3 months of knowing a person and married just after a year of meeting them (that would be me!) lol
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busymum
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 7:58pm |
LOL Stacey!! 
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:02pm |
Wow stacey good on ya!!!! And look at ya now, with a cute wee bubba!!
Thanks Busymum, Im going to take your advice  So Ill wait till a week after I have my bloods done and then I wilol just say that the doctors called me to tell me that Im pregnant. Yep that works! I'll be nervous as hell but like you said its got to be done, and I really dont want to lift anything too heavy, Im terrified about losing this baby as it is!
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kebakat
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:03pm |
lol.. none of our parents know how we really got together. Everyone knows we met online and were engaged within 3 months of meeting.. they have no idea we met up to basically have sex.. ohhh what would MIL think of her lil boy if she knew that!
I'm glad we never got told we were too young or whatever! But I'm sure there would have been comments had they known that!
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:08pm |
lol Stacy!! Thats pretty much like DF and me!, he was/is my younger brothers friend! and I thought he was cute and we ended up hooking up, was basically just sexual for a while then we fell in love and here we are! And Im not ashamed of how we met and of the age gap, theres no rule in the book that says the girl HAS to be younger than the guy, he treats me better than any guy my age ever has  I cant wait to marry him and have this baby!
Edited by Sheza
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AnnC
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:23pm |
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ok so how much younger is your DF?
As for work. Me myself would wait at least a couple of weeks before telling your work. You don't have to tell them straight away although if heavy lifting is part of your job like Teresa (busymum) said tell after you get your results back. I am sure your boss will be happy for you knowing how much she wants a child.
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Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:26pm |
Hehe, he's a few years younger than me Nothing huge
Yeah, I think its best I do tell them soon, I mean its not my fault, I didnt know I was pregnant when i went for my interview, we honestly thought I wanst going to be preg this months, we hardly did the deed at all  We are thrilled though, just hope this bean sticks
Edited by Sheza
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Maya
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:28pm |
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Ah yes, but I take the cake: I met Willie at a drunken party at his house when he said to me "you're sleeping with me tonight", being the slapper that I am of course I did (not that we actually had sex that night, he decided that I was too drunk and he didn't want to take advantage of me but that's another story) and then the next day I moved in with him. Eight years (eek!) three kids and two separations later and we're still living in glorious unmarried sin. Oh and I was 22 yrs 2 mths when Maya was born, Willie was exactly twice my age. Scandalous!
Sheza, I'd go ahead and tell your boss. Regardless of the outcome of the pregnancy you'll need her encouragement and support. Even if (God forbid!) you do miscarry again (which is very unlikely) it's likely you'd need time off work etc. so it would help if she knows from the get go. And I don't think it should matter that they are about to undergo IVF, I think we all get a little bitter when we're TTC and it's not working but for the most part we're able to swallow our jealousy and be happy when other people announce their pregnancies. Speaking for myself of course, I was the total green eyed monster, especially when people I was TTC with gave birth and we were STILL TTC, but that doesn't mean I wasn't totally stoked for them!
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Brenna
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:34pm |
 Maya wrote:
...we're still living in glorious unmarried sin.
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lol!!! you crack me up!
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My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:36pm |
Thanks Maya Hehe your age gap beats mine and DF's, but I was just talking to DF aboyt the age thing and he said age is only a number(providing ur both legal! lol) Which we are!!! I dont see him as being younger than me at all...hmm maybe sometimes though! But hey thats guys for you, they are immature at the best of times!!
Yeah thats true, I shouldnt feel bad cos Im pregnant, I guess I just feel for her and I will feel rather awful telling her Im pregnant. But I guess it has to be done.
Edited by Sheza
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meow
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:51pm |
Yeah it will be better to tell her.. I hope she takes it okay. I found getting a job while pregnant really difficult, no one wants to hire someone only to see them leave a few months later  Should be easier for you as you already have the job
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jaz
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 8:51pm |
Maya wrote:
I think we all get a little bitter when we're TTC and it's not working but for the most part we're able to swallow our jealousy and be happy when other people announce their pregnancies. Speaking for myself of course, I was the total green eyed monster, especially when people I was TTC with gave birth and we were STILL TTC, but that doesn't mean I wasn't totally stoked for them! |
Yep - I had an awkward moment today when I bumped into two work colleagues, one has had three miscarriages and the other was fussing over Caleb. I always tried to downplay the whole pregnancy, baby thing around her because I thought it was a sensitive topic but today was so in your face.
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AnnC
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 9:11pm |
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Ann
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Maya
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 9:24pm |
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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ElfsMum
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 9:25pm |
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I agree with everyone...i would tell her once you get bloods back..otherwise it might be really awkward if she wonders why you waited to tell her..as for the age gap..who cares as long as he's good to you which he is:) and I met my DH jan 3 2006, moved in Feb 28 2006, married 25th nov 06.....preg(sadly miscarried) in Dec 06 and now in Oct 07 20 weeks pregnant again..so yeah no shame in knowing he's the right one!
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Mum to two amazing boys!
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emz
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 9:44pm |
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I really need to print this off to show people that we didn't move as fast as others have! Woohoo!
Mind you, I was 17 when I met DH, moved in 5 weeks later, sent him away to Afghanistan for 5 months while I lived in his room with cheap rent (I know a deal when I get one!), then got engaged straight after he got back.
25 is so not too young to have a family - I got married in Jan this year at 20, and got pg just after my 21st bday. Wouldn't want it anything other way, in fact we had to restrain ourselves to hold out this long!
Edited by emz
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 01 October 2007 at 9:48pm |
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It really is none of her bizzo how old he is and how long you have been together.
And, people who are TTC sometimes just have to suck it up, people don't get pregnant just to spite them and they have no right to make you feel like you can't be happy. No offence intended here, though, so please don't take that the wrong way. While I am "sensitive" to people and their feelings, I also am not really an eggshells/pussyfooter, either.
In all honesty, and not meaning to sound harsh here, but you should tell her asap, as she does have a right to know, I would be a bit annoyed if I hired someone and trained them up, only to tell me a few weeks later they were pregnant. I know they cannot discriminate, but the sooner they know, the sooner they may be able to find a job for you inthe company that suits your condition better, rather than traiing you this week, and having to train someone else in a few weeks time cos you can't do it.
Good luck!!! (And congrats, by the way, I bet you are rapt it happened for you so fast!)
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Shezamumof3
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Posted: 02 October 2007 at 7:28am |
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Need a little advice ladies
