HT: Baby in your bed

When we had our twins we decided very early on that we wanted to keep them in a strict routine and do everything we could to get them sleeping through the night in their own beds. But in saying that in the first few weeks we did let them sleep with us a few times just out of pure exhaustion
I do understand why some people co-sleep. It's a lovely feeling having a sleeping babe next to you & it can be so convenient for those breastfeeding. But personally it's not for me.

I have tried for a long time to keep my daughter in her own bed, but after a very up and down time i always wake to her in my bed with me.

she obviously feels more secure being close to me but its not something i am going to let go on for ages or i will end up like my mother in law with a 13 year old girl that wont sleep alone - use your descretion with this but be aware of the long term effects of not teaching a child some mild independance in life...

Out of curiosity how do parents who do co-sleep for quite a while deal with issues when the kids are a bit older. example, my sister in law had her son fairly young, they co slept for years, still shared a bed at age 12 more often than not, she was single but is now in a steady relationship and her son is petrified of sleeping in a separate room.  Related? Or unrelated?

bubalys wrote: Out of curiosity how do parents who do co-sleep for quite a while deal with issues when the kids are a bit older. example, my sister in law had her son fairly young, they co slept for years, still shared a bed at age 12 more often than not, she was single but is now in a steady relationship and her son is petrified of sleeping in a separate room.  Related? Or unrelated?

I think this is a very unusual case. Most co-sleeping families I know end up doing a gradual transition and the kids sleep in their own beds, in own rooms, usually very well, by the time they are about 3. But all families are different.

We co-sleep with our 10 month old, for part of the night - he starts out in his own cot, but comes into bed about midnight. Our 3 year old sleeps in his own room now, but we have a spare single bed in our room for the odd occasion he wakes in the night and wants to come into our room.

If you follow the 'rules' it is very very safe.

I let DD sleep with me from when she was newborn until we moved her out of our room about a month ago due to repeated wake ups and DF needing more sleep!

I can see things from both sides of the fence.. co-sleeping was lovely and when she was little was very handy for breastfeeding, but in the end it caused her to wake up more then necessary causing tired grumpy baby and tired mum and dad!

She is now STTN (well.. she did last night anyway!) in her own room and very happy and fully of energy in the morning

TBH i don't see the problem with co-sleeping if thats your thing or the problem with cot sleeping if that's your thing!!!

Oh, and I was one of those kids who had trouble adjusting to sleeping on my own. It wasn't unusual for me to sleep in mum's bed when I was 13 () but it stopped very quickly after that. Looking back it was probably related to depression and anxiety issues, undiagnosed until I was... Well, 13.

Guest_53265 wrote: she obviously feels more secure being close to me but its not something i am going to let go on for ages or i will end up like my mother in law with a 13 year old girl that wont sleep alone - use your descretion with this but be aware of the long term effects of not teaching a child some mild independance in life...

The general theory is if the children know you are there and they are able to come to you ifthey need to, they will grow up being more independent. Because they know you are there for them and have conidence to be independent Rather than them protesting at being put in a room alone to sleep and becoming clingy because they don't know where mum/dad is iygwim ?

Agree with Pudgy.

We did/do cosleep. Have done since birth!

I coslept as a child until I was 7 then I felt 'big' enough to go to my own room. Though it was helped with a 'new' bed that I got to pick out!

Anyway, cosleeping was something I didn't think I would do. Sure I loved it as a child but being pregnant all I heard was how it was 'so dangerous' and such a 'no-no'. However when I was in hospital after having DD. I had her at about 8pm and by about midnight when I was all alone and had already paged the post natal staff half a dozen times in 2 hours the nurse just said 'Here, I'll show you how to safely cosleep if you like?' And I said ok and we haven't looked back. DD has been the worst sleeper by herself.

One thing though is the not sleeping through the night... It bugs me that parents thing babies need to by a certain age whereas myself... I still wake several times a night for various reasons and always have so when DD was born I was prepared for sleepless nights for at least 2 years and was not expecting her to sleep much! (She did better than I imagined though!).

We cut cosleeping about 2 weeks ago now. We were sleeping with the cot sidecar style next to the bed though DD didn't sleep in it haha so we started by just pushing her cot about 1m from our bed and made up a little story about a girl getting a new bed etc and she's been in it everynight for the last 2 weeks. Out of about 12 days she has done 2 full nights in her cot/bed and the other nights she has woken maybe about 4/5am and jumped into bed with us.

As someone else said, cosleeping/bed sharing, whatever you want to call it has been done for thousands of years. It's not for everyone but there are safe ways to do it. And it is mainly an eastern thing rather than a western thing! But when you look at the way it's done in say Japan where I have seen it first hand then you can see differences like they sleep on mattresses on the floors in some places (I was in an apartment) so no chance of the baby rolling off a high bed...

I personally could not sleep with our baby in our bad- I was soo terrified of SIDS if I had breast feed her in bed during the night I would wake up in a panic and search for her through the bed- although she was always safe and sound in her cot. Now she's a bit older she will somtimes come into our bed in the mornings to have cuddles but its such a novelty she wouldn't consider going to sleep!
I think it is lovely to snuggle with them but I prefer her to sleep in her own cot where I know she is safe and I dont have to break a habit years down the line

Didn't intend to at all. My husband was really against it. However, after DD proved to be a co-sleep or no-sleep baby we started doing it safely after about 3 weeks. Probably me walking into walls while holding the baby (having not slept more than 4 hours out of 48 for the past 3 weeks) and warning him of how much more dangerous it was for me to be passing out on the couch swayed things some.
We took the side off the cot and have a sidecar arrangement which I think is the best of both worlds. She's still in there. I'd rather like her in her own bed these days but she hunts for me in her sleep and if she can touch me she'll sleep more than if she can't find me. Next time I'll be instilling slightly more 'own space' sleep habits between 4 and 6 months.