| Author |
 Topic Search  Topic Options
|
mamanee 
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Hamilton
Points: 2244
|
 Post Options
 Thanks(0)
 Quote  Reply
 Topic: Christening/baptising
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 12:25am |
|
Dan has suggested that we get Jamie baptised, but Sam isn't baptised and I don't want to have one baptised and not the other.
Plus, it's not something I would like to do. I'm not against it, but I'm not religious and I don't feel like I need or want my children to be baptised.
I wasn't baptised and neither was Dan, but he has brought it up a few times, saying that even if it wasn't necessary, then it wouldn't hurt.
I'm very stubborn and I don't really give in, but there isn't really a compromise available here, we either do it or not do it and I don't want to.
Should I just fob him off? I don't really have any worthwhile reasons why I don't want Jamie to be baptised, I just don't.
|
 |
|
Sponsored Links
|
|
|
tishy
Senior Member
Joined: 17 August 2007
Location: Wellington
Points: 3941
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 7:45am |
|
Personally I would only do it if you are committed to bringing Jamie up with the faith.
We chose not to baptise our kids as I'm not actively practicing and DH is anti-church ( not anti religion).
|
|
HuntersMama
Senior Member
Joined: 09 November 2008
Location: Auckland
Points: 1863
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 7:54am |
|
I feel the same - we arent overly religious so it wouldnt be right to have DS christened. We are having a naming ceremony though - just a low key ceremony at home with close family. Could you do both your children together? A friend of mine has recently done this and it was nice.
|
|
|
|
Bizzy
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 10974
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 8:34am |
|
just tell him no. maybe suggest a naming ceremony or something if he wants to do something... or turn it around and ask him why!
|
|
|
|
High9
Senior Member
Joined: 14 July 2009
Location: North Island
Points: 6750
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:01am |
|
I am the same as you, except we are going with it because it means a lot to his family, (even though only the grandma goes to church!!), my family aren't impressed as they think if we're going to do it, she should be Church of England like them and not Catholic... (Even though no one in my family is baptised either!)
Long story short, we're going to do it for schooling in the end... Hope that doesn't sound bad?!
|
|
|
|
Bobbie
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: North Shore Auckland
Points: 6123
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:06am |
Stick to your guns - don't do it unless it means something.
We got Rowan baptised Catholic and Morgan will be too (one day when DH gets around to it  ) but I made DH promise that we would be taking the girls to church and raising them to understand the Catholic faith.
I'm not Catholic myself but I felt that we needed some commitment if we were going to do it.
I don't mind if the girls choose not to follow the Catholic faith when they are older but I do want them to at least know it.
|
|
|
|
Delli
Senior Member
Joined: 12 September 2008
Location: BOP
Points: 747
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:50am |
|
I think I would need a better reason than "it wouldn't hurt". That wouldn't be good enough for me.
I am an atheist myself, but will try to teach my kids about all sides of religion (hopefully I can do it in an unbiased way!) to help them make their own decisions. If when they are older, they decide to get baptised - that would be absolutely fine with me and I will support them whatever decisions they make.
|
|
|
|
MrsH
Senior Member
Joined: 27 September 2008
Location: Porirua
Points: 859
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 9:52am |
|
We're not getting our children baptised. DH doesn't believe in God; and God and I aren't on talking terms at the moment.
Plus, like other posters have said - I think we should commit to raising them in said faith if they were to be baptised and I don't think we could.
It's interesting that he is even thinking about baptism considering neither of you are baptised. Is he religious? If not (with all due respect), does he understand what baptism is about?
|
|
|
|
Nutella
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
Points: 2550
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 10:32am |
|
We got DS baptised in the Catholic church, I was not fussed but DH wanted to and it was important to him even tho he doesn't go to church so who was I to say no. It was important to him because even tho he doesn't go, he thinks of himself as a catholic boy...I will get him to take DS when he is old enough to understand.
IMO if one person wants to and the other isn't fussed then why not just do it??
|
|
|
|
caliandjack
Senior Member
Joined: 10 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 12487
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 11:46am |
|
Interesting topic I'm a non-practising catholic and Dh isn't religious at all. We aren't planning on having our children baptised as its up to them to decide if religion is for them.
However I friend of mine living in Akl who isn't religious, her husband is catholic and she's decided to get her girls baptised for educational reasons as some of the better schools are catholic.
Which puts a different spin on things for me, if having our kids baptised means they can get a better education then I would probably consider it.
|
  [/url] Angel June 2012
|
|
kiwisj
Senior Member
Joined: 02 June 2008
Points: 2434
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 12:09pm |
|
We have decided not to baptise C (or the new baby) for now as I'm CofE and DH is non-practising Catholic. He is anti-church also and we didn't get married in church for that reason. We do talk about religion in general and will continue to do so as our kids grow up as I want them to have an understanding of Christianity and other religions too.
We will probably reassess the baptism thing when we decide where we're going to live ... if we move to Australia it may be the pragmatic choice if we'd like the kids to go to Catholic school like DH did.
mamanee, re your original question I would try and pin down your DP for a "real" reason why he wants to do it. I agree that it requires some commitment on the part of you guys to bring up your kids in the faith and also go to church (even if the reason is for school. If your kids go to Catholic school then they will need to attend church and so will you, at times).
|
|
SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
|
|
Bobbie
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: North Shore Auckland
Points: 6123
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 1:42pm |
|
Yes that's a very good point kiwisj - If you baptise your children Catholic for the educational side then be prepared for them to have religious education as part of their studies.
Personally, and this is just IMO, the idea of baptising children just to gain access to schools irks me. And around here the public schools are just as good as the Catholic ones anyway.(and a hell of a lot cheaper!)
Edited by Bobbie
|
|
|
|
ALittleLoopy
Senior Member
Joined: 04 July 2008
Points: 9103
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 2:05pm |
|
jsut my two cents, me and my family arent religious but DH and his are (his parents go to church EVERY sunday lol...dh goes only on odd occasion, though he would like us to go as a family at easter and xmas next year)
anywa....we were always going to be christening (which is the same as a namaing ceremony really, its not overly religious) but have decided we will also baptise into the anglican faith it doesnt mean you have to go to church, it doesnt mean you have to send them to sunday school, just gives them a starting point as you cant force someone to believe in something...i think it gives them a foundation for belief and morals etc and a second family if you do belong to a church that is....
we are doing it for this reason...but thats just our lil unit
good luck with the decision
|
|
|
|
tishy
Senior Member
Joined: 17 August 2007
Location: Wellington
Points: 3941
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 2:45pm |
 Bobbie wrote:
Personally, and this is just IMO, the idea of baptising children just to gain access to schools irks me. |
I think this too. I find it very hypocritical when parents stand before God and promise to bring their kids up as Catholics ( or any other religion) while in reality they're only interested in the schooling. Not good role modelling IMHO.
|
|
Nutella
Senior Member
Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Christchurch
Points: 2550
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 4:10pm |
tishy wrote:
Bobbie wrote:
Personally, and this is just IMO, the idea of baptising children just to gain access to schools irks me. |
I think this too. I find it very hypocritical when parents stand before God and promise to bring their kids up as Catholics ( or any other religion) while in reality they're only interested in the schooling. Not good role modelling IMHO. |
Lol, I hope like heck that my DH is not planning to send our kids to Catholic school...I might have to check this out with him! I wouldn't send our kids to the catholic school where we live now that is for sure...just goes to show they are not always better!!
|
|
|
|
caliandjack
Senior Member
Joined: 10 March 2007
Location: West Auckland
Points: 12487
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 5:03pm |
|
I don't have any issues (obviously) about sending our children to Catholic school if that's the best educational option for them. There are plenty of non-catholics doing exactly the same thing.
However when it comes to things like First Holy Communion etc, that's something for them to choose for themselves, its not something I would make them do simply cause I wanted it.
Edited by caliandjack
|
[/url] Angel June 2012
|
|
Whateversville
Senior Member
Joined: 18 October 2009
Points: 4293
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 5:13pm |
Heres my 2cents 
I'm a christian and go to church every sunday BUT not baptising Tyler as Baptisim is something you do when you give your life to God. So I'm leaving it until Tyler makes the decision himself.
He will however be Dedicated to God at church when I get around to it.
Purely my opinion tho!
As far as I knew (from Catholic friends) your child can be accepted into Catholic school IF they have practising Catholic family eg Grandparents..Even Christian kids can go o Catholic schools. Catholic baptised kids get first dibs in the school of course.
Plus the Catholic high schools here take on a certain amount of non religeous kids each year..
Ramble ramble ramble lol
None of its usefull but ohwell!
|
|
MummyFreckle
Senior Member
Joined: 08 February 2007
Location: Auckland
Points: 4120
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2010 at 8:49pm |
Bobbie wrote:
Yes that's a very good point kiwisj - If you baptise your children Catholic for the educational side then be prepared for them to have religious education as part of their studies.
Personally, and this is just IMO, the idea of baptising children just to gain access to schools irks me. And around here the public schools are just as good as the Catholic ones anyway.(and a hell of a lot cheaper!) |
This really annoys me too Bobbie - I find it really hypocritical of people who are not religious in any sort of way that suddenly get their kids babtised at age 4 to get them into the local catholic school. I also dont think its cool to send your kids off to school each day to be actively taught about god and religion if you arent living those same things at home (IYKWIM).
|
|
|
|
Emmecat
Senior Member
Joined: 30 April 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 5068
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 June 2010 at 8:21am |
We had Clodagh christianed because it ws important to DF who is a (fairly non practising) Catholic. I certainly didn't do it to access Catholic schools in fact I will be actively avoiding them as I'd like her to go to Montesorri lol. However DF goes to church *sometimes* and it was extremely important to him, all his children are baptised so Clodagh will be raised knowing God but hopefully in a rather more well rounded way than just ebing presented with Catholicism (sorry not trying to offend- I major in Religious Studies so would like her to be aware and respectful of ALL religions). I was initially extremely against getting her baptised but then after many discussions realised how important it was to DF so we compromised on something that is as important to me...that she gets raised vegetarian. It's a personal desicion that only you and your family unit can make.
Oh- and while Clodagh was baptised in a small country Catholic church adn by a Catholic priest, I was hugely- and pleasantly- suprised by how extremely non-denominational the service was! I don't think the Catholic faith was mentioned even once, it was so non-religious it could have been a naming ceremony!  
|
|
|
|
Richie
Senior Member
Joined: 12 July 2009
Location: Christchurch
Points: 2059
|
Post Options
Thanks(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 June 2010 at 8:34am |
|
We will be getting Isla christened at some stage as it is important to DF and his family. He doesn't go to church anymore but does believe in God etc. We would also like Isla to attend a catholic primary school (she can decide if she wants to go to public or catholic high school tho).
Altho I don't believe in God, I do think it is important for Isla to learn about religion so she can make her own mind up. I was bought up in a very anti-religious household but in a way I kind of wish I had been told about 'both sides of the story' iykwim.
My sister got her 2 kids Baptised in November last year (they were aged 4 and 6!!) and DF and I became their Godparents. It was the first time I'd ever attended church (except for funerals!). It was very low key and no where near as religious as I expected it to be. I was pleasantly surprised. As Godparents, we have been asked to attend church on the odd occasion. We haven't been back yet but when Isla is a bit older I'll be happy to attend with my sister and her kids.
|
|
|
|
Christening/baptising
Oct 11
