Soppy, but true...is it normal....

Loving two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as youve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. Im afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I havent taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply.

I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Author Unknown

Edited by Bizzy

O.k...dripping tears all over my laptop.
That was beautiful!!

Yup, absolutely normal!
But like the others have said, not something you need to worry about either. Your heart just grows to make room for the love for your new baby and you'll find that you love your oldest even more too.

**Darn you Deb **

ooops should have prepared the buckets for all those tears, sorry guys. It was my fave when i was pregnant with toby and had all the same fears and worries!

Edited by Bizzy

Kellyfer wrote: You have ecstatic days, and emo days, and "wtf have i got myself into" days.

Haha, love it. I still have those days

Aaaww thanks Sheena (and everyone else). It's such a weird feeling...to be excited to be pg again but worried about the love thing...not to mention the How The Hell Am I Going to Cope thing lol.

I wonder if my feelings haven't been helped by people in general (incl family) being suprised we're having another so close in age?  Even my mw said oh you're ambitious lol. I thought it was quite a nice gap?!

OMG Bizzy, I feel stupid sitting here crying haha

Emmecat, I totally understand how you feel. The whole time I was pregnant with Clara, I felt no connection to her and at the end I was feeling so bad that I wasnt even excited about her nearly being here and worried I wouldnt love her half as much as Ruby. Now she is here I love her so much and I think I feel more connected to her than I did to Ruby when she was this young.

You will be fine, there is plenty of love to go around all your children

Definate tear jerker - im a mess!

But good to hear as well.. its funny sometimes how you dont realise how worried you are about such a thing - until someone else says it.

That was so beautiful Bizzy! Although I have to confess to skimming through it a bit to avoid the tears as I think I would be more than a mess if I fell apart right now :P Just showed it to DH and he liked it too.

Emmecat would I be right in thinking your gap will be similar to ours - about 19/20mths? I can't believe how much Bethany has grown up and changed since I first found out I was pg. Like Clodagh, she's always been very much a mummy's girl, so early on I was quite worried about how she'll cope. She still is definitely a mummy's girl, but there's an element of independence that has grown and she totally dotes on babies, dolls, soft toys and anything snuggle-able.

Now, one month away from bubs being due I can't wait to see her step into big sister shoes, cuz I know she's going to absolutely dote on her new wee bro or sis. We talk about baby all the time, she gives him/her impromptu cuggles and kisses, and I tell her about why the moses basket and capsule are out and waiting for when baby is 'big enough' - I'm excited and I honestly think she is too! Just to give you a hint of what is to come... here's a cute pic DH took on the weekend:

*sob* *sob*

Everyone's comments have made me really teary, such beautiful words.

On a logical level I've always kind of brushed it off thinking 'well of course I'll love future children' but the words of the poem Bizzy shared really touched the more intense mummy feelings I dont always examine day to day as I go about washing dirty nappies or cleaning up weetbix cement!