RANT Trying for over a year...

and sick of people feeling sorry for themselves when they don't conceive in one second especially when they have had a baby already. Try waiting for ages and not even knowing if you can conceive at all.

Just felt like feeling sorry for myself! So there!!!

Rant over now.....

I dunno...I think I might disagree with your about the want and yearning to be a parent being the same. My desire to have a baby has increased tenfold in the last few months!

I guess the same thing can apply to me saying people who have hardly tried are frustrating for those trying through IVF. I can't understand how hard it must be to have to go through IVF because there is little chance of concieving naturally. My heart goes out to everyone who is in that situation.

I agree nat my desire has increased ten fold also in last few months. Before that i kept telling myself that it will happen soon (like everyone kept saying also) but my patience with that has started to wear extremely thin and my feelings of failure also get worse each month

Ive had tests and everything so far has come back good. Havent had my DH tested yet, that will be on the list this month. I have however had a look through my saliva tester and put some of his "stuff" sorry if TMI and i can see plenty of swimmers and theirs a lot that look strong, but thats from an uneducated eye and of course only a very small microscope.

I feel my experience has given me a small understanding as to the other side of the coin(my DS2 was concieved 2 cycle around of "not trying") having trouble concieving this time around gives me a small window into the heart break that happens to some. Of course i mean small and couldnt begin the fathom what others have to go through. My DH has said that if we havent concieved by xmas we arent going to keep trying and we wont be spending any money on intervention either, I will have to just accept the situation for what it is.......I suppose you have to draw the line somewhere.....not that i think it will get to that.

Astral_monkey - Im kinda glad you already know you are going to have a few dramas. At least your not waiting the 12months and then finding out making it even longer again.
I worry about people that put off having kids until they are older (or focusing on careers etc). Even if they got tested to make sure everything is ok with both of them, there can always be that unexplained infertility that a lot of people experience. Imagine those who put off and put off and then finally decide they will start, and they then experience infertility issues.

It really should be a case of if your in your 30s you should only have to try for 6months before looking into it further not the 12months that docs want. I would recommend to anyone to tell a white lie to the docs to get those balls rolling sooner.

We will all get there.....some of us have just had to learn patience along the way........

I hear ya Nat, rant away. This waiting game is soooooo frustrating and the doubts that it will ever really happen make it so much worse.   I wish I just knew when it would definitely happen and I'd feel a bit better.

Brilliant idea about checking out DH's sperm on your microscope!! I might give that a go too :)

astral_monkey, it is good that you are getting things on the road already because I waited for a year and a bit before going to the Dr - like we are all told to do. Being older I just assumed things would take longer than if I was a young un.
Found out there was something wrong with me that was easily fixed (not that I have been checked again after op, going on Friday....waiting room will be FULL of pregnant women) and had I have known that, I would have bloody gotten it fixed months ago! grrr.
So for anyone seriously trying, I would recommend paying the money to get checked out by a gyneocologist, make sure you have had all the shots you need and work out when your ovulation is!
Because I have got to say the waiting game only gets harder and harder! My cousin put it really well, in that every month I start to imagine what it will be like if pregnant, then oh it would be nice for a november baby imagining it all, then wham not happening and then do the same the next month, oh wouldn't it be lovely to have a december baby blah blah. Before she said that, I hadn't really appreciated that each month I am imagining a baby that does not even exist and every month I am losing that baby. Pretty sad really - mainly pretty sad that I have gotten myself into such a ridiculous state!

Nat you said it well about losing a baby every month...........My brain makes me think about losing that sibling i badly want for my son........isnt it crazy that we do that.
Ive been saying the last few days i would love a November baby better than a Jan(we are not trying for a dec too many bdays and anniversarys and xmas etc)

Im getting into a little bit of a state (just quietly in my head) as i am only a day or two out from my AF being due. Ive beeng getting a heap of pains and my chart looks good........so ive been managing to build myself on the hope that its stretching pains and my temps have spiked again cos im preg, even though tests say otherwise...............but i have to stop!!! I know deep down these pains actually are just AF pains, and not an invisible baby cells mutiplying and forming an embryo...........Not quite sure how im going to be tomorrow but i have a full on day at work with my new job role of HR so i really hope that im so busy i wont think about it!!!

Yeah, I am 33 so kind of a bit scary when start to think that time might run out if have to wait for IVF for five years...do you have anything wrong or unexplained (like me).
Yes, do have to make the most of the time we have together and we already decided that if not pregnant by this time next year we will make the most of it and go on an extended holiday and then move back to NZ! So that way we have something to look forward to either way

I can so understand what you guys are going through although I have to say we have now had a bit of success.

DD was conceived after just over a year of trying when I was nearly 35. I felt like time was running out. People say to relax and it will happen (which I firmly believe is the case in most instances of unexplained infertility) BUT THATS NOT EASY TO DO!

For various reason we didn't TTC again until DD was 3 - mainly because I didn't want to. Then for the next 18 months nothing happened. As each month passed I wanted it more. A classic case of what you can't have etc etc ........... We got pregnant only to lose the baby at 16 weeks. The hard bit was that we never found out why it died.

So TTC again and it took another 18 months. We are pg again now but I can't relax. Am 26 weeks and most days don't worry too much but still don't feel "safe".

It's really hard TTC. Hang in there and never give up hope but my one piece of advise is not to live your life TTC. There are other wonderful things out there to enjoy and while it's the hardest thing in the world try to focus more on those things.

You are right Helen, it is all too easy to forget the other wonderful things in life when you want to have a baby.


The problem with TTC is that there is such a small window of opportunity each month and the horrible wait so you are on tender hooks for such a long time.

Flipsta, funny that you havent had your tubes all checked and everything before going on drugs? I think the last test we can have is the post coital one (tee hee, not sure about that one...)

Yeah it is def important to keep appreciating other things in life. I think that the trouble is you start to imagine what it would be like to share these other things with your kiddies ya know, like this probably sounds stupid but we went to the theme parks last year and it was sooooo much fun but we kept talking about how it would be cool with our kiddies and their cousins.

But next year I think a break will def be in order if we haven't concieved yet...but we won't be telling the Drs that we are having a break haha!