Holding hand to go to sleep...

Awww, Ty does that as well , once he is nearly asleep I just replace my fingers with a blanky ...I think he just likes having something to hold

This is no help at all but omg that's soooo cute

When you hold his hand , how long does it usually take to for him to get to sleep ?
If it doesnt take very long, then probably easier thing to do is to just hold it till he drifts off, like all phases , he'll outgrow it soon enough .


Edited by caitlynsmygirl

We had to to this heaps with DD a few months ago but during the day and still do it sometimes now if it works at 9.5months. Sometimes I started off holding her hand and then once she relaxed a little would take my hand out and rest it on top of her hand or on her forearm and then gradually ease the pressure so my hand was really only hovering above. Then I'd take my hand out and leave the room. If she still needed my hand she would grab it back and I'd give her a little longer.

I'd guess it's probably a phase, for us it was related to seperation anxiety (I think). Such a sweet way to go to sleep though

KitKat wrote: Hippymama- I dont pull away and leave him to cry- Im not inhuman!!! Once I realised he needed my hand I left it. I just wondered if there was something I could do/not do to help him- I dont care about me... or sitting there holding his hand- I love it really..... I just want to help him be able to sleep himself I guess. He is such a sensitive wee man.... Please dont think Im leaving him to feel alone... I would never do that.

I don't think that was what she was implying. I think she is just putting forward her POV and probably her frustration (and mine) about this notion that BABIES need to 'self settle' and that if you help them you are somehow doing something 'wrong'. But I could be way off base there. LOL

He's 6 months old, not 16 and rest assured that even if you do this until he is 3 or 4 years old he won't still be needing you to hold his hand for him to go to sleep when he IS 16. So many parents these days seem to worry about what might happen in the future and thus do things that they might not want to because they fear what hasn't yet happened. I did that with DS1, we did CC with him to get him to 'sleep through the night' at 11 months, and this time I have done what is necessary, whatever that is to make sure that they know I am there for them when they need it.

DS2 was in our bed for 5.5 months when HE decided he didn't need that anymore, he was fed/rocked to sleep on and off for about 12 months but won't usually be 'helped' to sleep now. DS1 who is 6, sometimes has nights when he needs someone to sit with him, and it is usually for no longer than 30 minutes and he's asleep and calm while he gets there and it's probably a 2-3 times a month (if that) occurrence and the rest of the time he is fine to be by himself.

They are little for such a short time and personally I would rather sit with or help my upset child off to sleep than ever listen to hours of crying ever again because I was worried about 'bad' habits. If you want gentle ways to 'wean' sleep associations you don't want, Elizabeth Pantley and her No Cry Sleep Solution is great.

Hey Hun,

If it were me, I would gradually wein him off doing it buy placing a cuddly toy of soft blaket in his hands very gently as you move your hands away, and keep doing that for a while, and then one night just give him the toy or blanket when you put him to bed and see if he will hold onto that instead.

Its most likely a little phase he is going through, he feels more secure holding your hands while he goes off to sleep. So hopefully if you can get him familiar with a toy or blanket instead he will cuddle that while he goes to sleep.

mumtooboys wrote: KitKat wrote: Hippymama- I dont pull away and leave him to cry- Im not inhuman!!! Once I realised he needed my hand I left it. I just wondered if there was something I could do/not do to help him- I dont care about me... or sitting there holding his hand- I love it really..... I just want to help him be able to sleep himself I guess. He is such a sensitive wee man.... Please dont think Im leaving him to feel alone... I would never do that. I don't think that was what she was implying. I think she is just putting forward her POV and probably her frustration (and mine) about this notion that BABIES need to 'self settle' and that if you help them you are somehow doing something 'wrong'. But I could be way off base there. LOL

LOL mumtooboys, you actually have pretty much hit the nail on the head there.

I wasn't meaning to say that you leave him to cry, I didn't think that was the case at all. However, if there is something you are doing, anything at all, that is causing you anguish... then there is no harm in resuming whatever it is that gives him comfort.

Like I said before, you are doing a great job!

Kitkat - my two cents would be, if that's how he's falling asleep and there's no fuss involved, go with it! We missed out on that with Bethany, bedtime wasn't fun and even hand holding wouldn't help :( But that's a story for another time. (She's great with her bed now tho, phew :). I say: savour the hand holding, it won't last forever ;)

Awww, Kat that is so cute! I can't help either, as you know, Cam currently won't go to sleep by himself either! But I agree with the cuddly, it just might do the trick. I hope Cam starts going to sleep by himself soon too, but I have to admit that I enjoy holding him and watching him drift off to sleep, he looks so cute and peaceful! Make the most of that time to take mental photos, and etch those into your memory bank. As I get told frequently, they grow up so quickly!

What on earth could be bad about what I am sure is a gorgeous 4mo boy being gently rocked to sleep in the arms of the woman who gave birth to him? *sigh*

Edited by HippyMama