MIL

I may sound like a real cow, but here goes.

I am getting sick of MIL saying she misses her gchild and give her a kiss and hug from me, and I can't see her grow up.

I find myself trying not to talk about DD to her and getting really angry when she asks about her.
MIL is a "all about herself" kind of woman and doesn't take into consideration that there are other gparents who miss their gchild and won't get to see her grow up.

Am I just being over sensitive? How do I get over this hump, we used to get on really well but now that DD is here everything is changed and I don't like being around her and talking to her anymore.

I know what I'm trying to say, but it's hard to get it out in typed words and to people who don't know her lol.

mine drives me a little batty as our little man gets ignored when the other grandkids are around (long story). It's so starting to get to me but have no idea how to say anything about it as I know that it will all be 'in my head' but it so isn't!!

It's probably something to do with HOW she is saying those things. My dad says those sorts of things but in a very accepting way, ie not feeling sorry for himself but glad that he actually has this grandchild and knowing he is growing up in a great place with great opportunities. He asks me to give him a kiss every day from his granddad and I know he would love us to walk through his door right now, but he manages to get all this across without making it all about him and without making me feel guilty for living overseas.

My MIL is a PITA she is always saying how she does not see DD enough (she sees her once a week when it suits her) she also goes on about her staying at their place overnight all the time, like it is her right to have her stay there and I am in the wrong for it not happening BUT worst of all she is constantly telling me what DD is thinking and feeling, as if she is some kind of baby whisperer!!!! It drives me crazy and I now avoid contact as much as possible.

MIL lives just around the corner, and looks after Hollie at ours one night a week, on potluck night, so we can catch up with friends. We are young to be married and parents, and the only ones in our group with a child, so it's nice. We live out of town so on top of that over the last two fridays we have been able to go to Chch for christmas shopping, and the inlaws have just had Hollie at their place.

My youngest brother is six, so every so often my mother and I book each other in for babysitting duties. Hollie's used to staying there too, Mum acted as 'respite care' one night a week for us when Hollie had colic in those first 3 months. It was a godsend and she was thankful for the time to bond.

I guess this is normal to me because my own grandparents were very hands on with us.

My stepmother on the other hand is a witch. I stopped shared custody with my parents because of her, and now she acts like she had done nothing wrong. She drinks heavily and stinks of cigarettes. She thinks she is Nana. I don't have the heart to tell Dad so, but IMHO my daughter has her two grandmothers she doesn't need anymore. Everytime I hand her over for cuddles I refer to her by her first name, not by nana. They've asked to babysit Hollie, I've said no. I'm just not comfortable leaving her there.

I doubt this has been of any help, just had to get it off my chest after reading other peoples posts

Edited by Flake

get over it...   

if (as i understand it ) you arent even in the same country then what does it matter...

and why shouldnt she say she misses her and wont see her growing up... at least she does miss her!

My MIL turned up in the delivery suite... uninvited....while I was in labour......

Just like Flake, I doubt this has been of any help, but I also just had to get it off my chest after reading other peoples posts.

Okay I think I'm almost over it..... oops.....nope not quite


Edited by RunningT

KazS wrote: I personally think you should try and work through it and then seek some revenge

Hmmm ROTFLMAO

I wish I could be as rational about it as you sammyD, but my MIL is bordering on obsessive.

She calls at least twice a day and goes on about how much she misses her wee man, yesterday she went on about some teenage drink driving accident and said that her and FIL were talking about how they hopen nothing like that ever happened to "our wee man". Sorry but you have two wee men - your own children!

They need to understand that they are grandparents and respect thats their place in the world. Last night (third call of the day) I told her that X was nearly crawling and she said she would have to go shopping for stair gates. I questioned this as they dont have any stairs at their house - her reply, "no for your place". I am capeable and actually WANT to buy these things for myself.

I have decided next time i see her i'm gunna tell her to pull her head in. That she should be grateful for the time she gets to spend with X, because my Mum passed away 7 years ago and the more she goes on about how she misses him makes it all the worse that my Mum never even got to meet him. She is an insensitive cow.

Anyway - so happy I found this topic - I seriously needed to get it off my chest.