ARGHHH!

Did test on Thursday and found out I am pregnant spent the evening sobbing with fear, panic, horrified - this is not so good time for me and everyone is saying congrats - why do I not feel this? I am terrified.

Got first docs appointment tomorrow.

I am 37 years old and it took one risk bang on my second day of ovulation and now I don't feel anything for this. my partenr is really happy but worried or me as I am not doing happy or excited or anything. He is also in shock at how quick it was - 1 go andthat was it concieve! thought your fertility was meant to decrease by 50% every year after 35 years old.

Its ok hun, it can be a very emotional time for anyone, I must admit I didn't really feel much through out my pregnancy, Arianne didn't kick much so it didn't really feel like a person inside me. I was also worried about not loving her when she arrived. I never made it known how I felt as I thought people would judge me.

Right now she is 7 months old and I can't believe how fast it has gone and I love her to bits i couldn't imagine life without her.

Like crafty said just take a break and take each day as it comes, things will come right. Congrats on being pregnant on the second day.

Both our lil girls were planned, however I got pregnant this time alot quicker than I thought and my first reaction was to cry and I was not in the best frame of mind for a good few months wondering what I have got myself in for and if I am ready -- woops too late hehe.

I am no where near as attached to this bump as i was with DD1 I suppose it is because I am very nervous.

Give yourself time and know that this is completly normal to feel this way - maybe get a girlfriend and go shopping and look at baby things even buy yourself some lil booties - it may make things more real and excititng

We all here if you need to chat

Many thanks for all your support but its now been 5 days since I found out and I go from panic to denile, have just been to the docs pretty boring really. Sorry I am about to rant and just feel like this really!

My partner says he can't tell anyone not even his parents as he doesn'y know how I am stanfing or feeling about this as I am considering abortion, although having said that either way having it or aborting it sounds horrible! I just feel like I am stuck now and I don't know which way to go, I don't feel anything for it and I don't believe its hormones etc, I have never desired children - having that is.

I just feel numb and cannot tell my fiance what I want. On top of all this I now annot enjoy my favourite tipple of a glass of red wine!

I go from panic ( normally happens before I go to bed and then I wake up at 3am in the morning) and denial through the day, trying to keep busy to take my mind of it. I can't even read the stuf the doctorr has given me about having a baby in New Zealand.

On top of all this 3 weeks prior, I got engaged and was making wedding plans over in the UK and heading home to the UK. I am determined to not let this get in the way.

I'm all for pro-choice. Believe me, with the situation we were in (as described above) one baby, let alone two was too much. We considered abortion at great length. On top of that I really wasn't a baby person. I couldn't stand kids in fact. But I look back now and as cheesy as it sounds I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I wouldn't have Hazel & Esme who at one day old were holding hands and about the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. Like I said above it took a month or so after the birth before I can honestly say I fell in love with them but now I couldn't be happier and my lifestyle hasn't changed just been altered slightly to allow 2 extra people in on my life's journey. I think you'll find most people on this site will give you lots of happy positive baby stories because obviously most on this site went through with their pregnancies but really you can only do what feels right to you. I hope which ever way you go it will be the right decision for you.

The only reason I didn't go through with abortion was because my Mum told me if I had the abortion there would always be what ifs and small regrets in the back of my mind but she promised me if I went through with the pregnancy there would never be any regrets and she was totally right

Best of luck what ever you decide

I felt much the same way when I found out I was pregnant again. I had a two year old and my youngest was 5mths. I took 3 tests in a row praying for each one to have only one line and when they all came up positive I sat down and cried. It's incredibly overwhelming and I have to admit it has taken me til now to really be used to the idea (Im 20 wks a long).
Everything will work out, a baby is the greatest joy. No one on here will lie to you, it is bloody hard work but completely worth it. You'll never experience greater love than as a mother.

I agree with Bizzy - a baby isn't the end of plans, its a change of plans.

Maybe it would help if you looked at the plans you've made and thought about how you'd go about it whilst pregnant/with a baby? Not about what you can't do anymore, but about what you CAN do. I don't think having a baby is going to mean you can't move home to the UK or get married. Maybe instead you'll have the cutest little ring bearer/flower girl ever at your wedding?

Best of luck with whatever you decide, its not an easy decision.

yogalindy wrote: I do feel wierd and every day feels really strange and I find myself going over what I won't be able to do -

what is it you think you wont be able to do? sure you may not be able to play a game of soccer when 9 months pregnant, but it wont stop you doing things forever...

one of the ladies on here is still doing marathon training while pregnant... i dont know how hard it is to ride a bike when pregnant but i can just see someone afterwards with a bab ystrapped to their back doing a bike ride!
if we lived in france you would probably still drink during pregnancy too!

Who told you that you can't bike anymore? If your health is otherwise ok and you feel like you are up to it, there is no reason why you can't keep going as long as you feel good. You do have to be careful not to get too hot, but that is later in pregnancy.
I'm 23 weeks, and I've just given up going to the farm every week, which hurts (emotionally) a bit, because I love cattlework. But it got to the point where I felt at risk being in the yards with them (I didn't want to get my bump crushed against a fence) and I was getting really tired from a full days physical work. But up until now I've really enjoyed it, and I'm going to continue going part time to do the less intensive jobs. I think if you want to bike, then bike. You'll know if its too much for you. I had a few people tell me I shouldn't be doing things, but unless it was my doctor/MW (in which case I asked for a full explanation of the risks) I made my own decisions about what I felt comfortable with.

As for the red wine, its only 8 more months. I missed wine a bit too, but I also have a soft spot for feijoa juice, which I don't usually buy because its so expensive. So I've traded feijoa juice as my relax in the evening drink for when I feel I need it.

I do wonder though, whether it might be a good idea to talk to a counsellor about things? Even just to help you get your head around how you are feeling. Your doctor should be able to refer you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you get a couple of free sessions if you are considering a termination? An independent counsellor can be good, because everyone who knows you will have their own agenda, whether they realise it or not, and you sound like you could use some impartial discussion. (A baby forum is great, but not the most unbiased place in the world )

Hugs to you and your DF too.