un-attached?

is it wierd that i am so completely calm about having this baby? its not just that im really unstressed about labour and bringing baby home but in my head everything seems to be very logistical from my view.

being of a quite scientific logically processed nature i see everything is rational and having a reason. the birth for me is a physiological process which goes through stages and out comes a baby at the end which i then take home.

i then find a way to juggle having a baby with my study and other commitments. me and DH have worked out that he will do all the housework and duties at night while i study. he will work during the day and i will do uni and look after the baby (classes are only 6 hours a week)

ppl that know me quite we arent terribly suprised that i plan on going strait on with my life once i feel up to it (with provisions for looking after a baby) but i get a few weird comments from other people about it and get told that im really unattached to my baby, whereas i think im just really organised. i have plans in place in case something goes wrong and i cant go strait back but i want to be back to normal as soon as poss.

i dont know if any of this makes sense but i wonder if i should feel more for my baby than i do. DH is really excitied and we have both thrown ourselves into making sure this baby is happy and has everything he needs and worked out how i can spend as much time as poss at home and in 'mum mode' but i still wonder if i should more more scared of the birth, or more excitied bout actually having a baby and less concerned with how he is going to fit in with my life. is it bad that i dont want to drop everything and play with baby all day everyday until he is one?

I felt the same about birth (until I went through it , then its completly different )
Once baby is here and you set eyes on him the first time , you will have feelings you hadn't thought would happen , but I was never desiring to stay and play with my baby all the time , some mums love doing that , me , i get bored .
Caitlyn is still happy and knows I love her tho,I just give her as much of myself as I can , but not all , I save some of me, for me.
I don't know if that makes any sense , my back is sore and im rambling ....

Its a great attitude to have and children are suppose to fit into your life (obviously a few things might change) not you fit into theirs thats how you end up feeling like you have lost yourself otherwise. However like the others have said dont put pressure on yourself to stick to your plan because once the baby arrives it might not all just slot together like that. Girl i worked with ended up with PND because she is a very organized person and had plans in her mind that the baby would arrive and fit into everything she already did etc but she ended up with a baby with really bad reflux and colic that didnt have the wake and sleep routines she had expected and it threw her out completely for quite awhile.

I know when Josh arrived it was NOTHING like what i expected i was totally floored at how demanding it was on me mentally. The only thing that worried me was how to get him out and i thought everything beyond that would be easy which wasnt the case for me.

All i say is that you shouldnt stress and thats great but be open to the fact it could be nothing like you anticipate and you might feel completely changed after it all happens. In my experience with Josh most our plans went out the window.

Monikah- we are in similar boats actually although DP is highly unlikely to do any let alone all the housewok lol.

I'm feeling pretty organised and 'practical' about the baby...although am freaking out a bit about our foster son and how I will cope with him as well as a newborn.  But yeah, that aside I'm not feeling overly clucky or maternal about our bubba. Obviously am thrilled to be pg and love feeling her move and seeing that she's ok etc but am hoping the motherly instnct kicks in soon!  Maybe it's our way of coping with lots on?

Yo wrote: Glad to see I am not the only 'unemotional' one around here. I am excited and it is what we wanted but I am not going all mushy here.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it! Those words could have come from my own mouth.

Ditto.

DH and I were talking about this just the other day. Sometimes people feel like they have to compartmentalise their lives - e.g. first travel, then get married (need to ge travelling out of the system before marriage - wtf?! why?), become a mum and give up lots of things that used to define them as a person... all because they now have a baby. I don't really buy in to that. You are still your own person, with your own plans and goals, and things you want to achieve. It's just that you have to work out how to do that with a baby around.

I guess that's a really big issue for me, one of my biggest fears is loosing myself as a person, hence the slightly ranty post! I love babies in general, love this baby and can't wait to have it... but there are things I need to do for me.

Does any of this make any sense?!

I don't see anything wrong with it as it sounds exactly like what I was like but yes babies can throw spanners in the works, but you adapt and carry on. You learn to ask for help, or accept it when offered which I was never a fan of.

I was pregnant through my whole last year of my degree which is how we planned it (might as well get 2 things done at once ) and will only spend a max of 2.5 years out of the workforce. I would have had it less if #2 had cooperated and stuck earlier than it did lol.

I also returned to my part-time job when #1 was 4 weeks old. It was only 10 hours a week but I know I was a zombie until about 10 weeks when I finally got back into the swing of things and my body felt my own again.

Good luck chick, it will be hard, no denying that, but nothing in life worth anything is easy

I love how supportive everyone here is!

I don't have my own bubs yet, but when my niece was born I went and stayed with my sister as she had to go back to work when bubs was just 9 weeks old. I remember my sister making a comment to my baby niece about how she loved her to bits, but couldn't have a conversation with her about tax legislation so she had to go back to work! LOL!

Just my 2 cents, do not listen to anyone who tells you how you should feel, or behave - do what's best for your family!

P.S. I love Bones!

My cousin was like that particularly with her first child. She said to me recently that she felt there is a reason mums are pregnant for 9 months. Partly it's for the baby to grow, but it's also partly for us to get ready for the birth, even mentally to wrap our heads around it.

This is my first baby, but I have a huge amount of experience and training in working with children, including as a nurse etc.

It wasn't until her baby was born that my cousin started to have real feelings about everything. Your hormones will kick in at that time, and it's a really natural thing. Sometimes even when their babies are born, some mums take a little longer to bond, but you will have all the help and support you need from midwives etc. to help you with that process.

I think it's great that you make plans as best you can as to how you are going to manage your life and cope with baby. Of course that's important, but plans need to be reviewed to see if they are still working for you - you have no idea whether this will be a dream baby that will allow for your studies or not... be open to changing your plans depending on how things go :)

And don't worry too much. I am excited for you! Not long to go!! I wish very much that I was at your stage :)