I’m terrified

Ok, I need to get this off my chest.

So, as many of you know, I am 9w pregnant with twins. This was a planned pregnancy (although the order was for one!!) after 3 m/c and don't get me wrong, I am really happy. BUT. I am terrified.

I keep thinking "OMG what the hell am I doing", how am I going to do this, not just with one, but with two. How are we going to afford it. It sounds so bad, but I am so scared that it takes the gloss off any happiness I feel.

Is this normal? I'm worried that I'm going to end up breaking under the fear and not be able to enjoy this pg or the babies when they arrive.

i know this is normal for alot of women when they are pregnant with one - so guess it will be even more so for twins

you have your DH, your family and friends, and you can always jump on here for advice, venting and virtual hugs

remember you are never alone, I am sure you will be an amazing mother

AAwww Kate- your news is HUGE, so be gentle with yourself as most of us freak out at some stage with just one,let alone two!  I haven't had any financial freak outs...more if DP and I have argued, I get hormonal and worried that I'll end up raising my daughter as a single mother...which I so absolutely do not want, it reall, really scares me.  In reality, I have nothingto fear, especially on that ground but still if I'm tired or whatever, I do! I also recall being so damn sick and miserable for the first 5 mnths or so AND so scaed of miscarrying again that I didn't bond or even feel excited at all with my baby until t least the 20 weeks scan!  I felt really guilty about that.

Can you talk to your Mum or a close friend who has kids and see what they 'freaked out' about? They would probably be able to reasurre you even more that what you're experiencing is totally normal. And if you are the 'help yourself' kind of gal (like me lol), then I would be on that internet and phone, finding out what help I am entitled to at all levels....financial, practical, emotional etc. You have time up your sleeve to investigate so go for it. Maybe the Multiple Birth Association would be a good place to start?

Minik8e, I don't have any useful advice to offer except to say I have def and still have freakouts! Not financial, but about having a BABY. I had one yesterday, when I just thought, OMG I am going to have a child in less than 3 months!!! AAAHHH!

I've been told it's normal; that doesn't mean I like it or can handle it. When it all gets a bit much, I tend to take some time out... Talking about it also helps. I also found it hard to bond with the bump or be excited about it, until about the 20 week scan and when I could feel it move - then it became a lot more real.

Tace care x

Kate, Im on to my second and I have freakouts , especially when C is playing up and I think "im a terrible mother , why am I doing this again ?"
I was scared before I had C, I think its only natural, and I think its a good thing, the fear of the unknown ...and you've been given news you weren't expecting,yeah , your bound to be scared !
have you thought about getting in touch with other women who are expecting twins ? or the multiples support groups ? im sure there are plenty out there feeling just as scared and overwhelmed as you by their "extra additions"
But *hugs* hun, i have no doubt you'll be a great mum

Yep, totally normal.  Even though I'm on my second, and both pregnancies have been planned, I have days when I feel extremely anxious about having a baby.

It doesn't mean you love your babies any less, nor is it any reflection on what you'll be like as a mother (I'm sure you'll be a great mum) but it's only human to fear the unknown.

Make sure you do talk things through with people (like us or IRL friends and family) as much as you can because it's when you start bottling things up that they get worse.

Listen here lovely lady, what you are experiencing is completely normal, you are going through what all of us go through regardless of whether it's one or two babies. You will be fantastic mummy and your children are going to love you regardless of any stresses you may have.

Just keep talking, take time out for you and enjoy.

When your little people arrive you are going to experience an immense love and joy and there will be people out there willing to help you anyway possible.

Linda - so true. Everyone goes - ohhhh how exciting!! And I just want to turn around and say - uhhhhmmmmm only for those who it's not happening to, cos personally I'm not excited at all, I'm more bluddy scared. I am lucky in that we have a HUGE support network, especially with DF's family, but I don't like to come across as....negative I suppose. Having your first baby is such a difficult decision because things are going to change so much - but to have two!!!

I think I'm going to enjoy our honeymoon in a couple of weeks - a week off from anything, just to relax and recuperate. I'm the type of person to internalise feelings a LOT, so it's very hard for me to talk about them IRL - hence why I come on here. I'm semi-anonymous and it's just easier.

AWw Kate. Yea It would be totally normal to be freaking- esp growing 2! Def going to be.... hard work to start, but with twice rewards- definately worth it in the end.
Good to hear you have a good support network & dont be shy to use it.
Look after yourself chic

OT- I saw Caroline, Isobel & Tash today with their Aunt in Oto & thought about you- random

Yep, like everyone else has said, soooo totally normal! I wrote pretty much exactly that in my Pregnancy Diary. All mums to be experience some feelings of anxiety and uncertainty, it's part of the process, and finding out you are having more than one baby is an even bigger adjustment. Unless you are anticipating twins for some particular reason (IVF, family history etc.) then it's a bloody big shock!

MrsMojo is right that you don't need to fall in love with your baby/ies straight away. I didn't bond with the gremlins at all, I was so anxious about whether they'd be OK and whether I'd cope that I never had time to enjoy just being pregnant and having them. But now two years on we have a great relationship, it's taken time and hard work but we're getting there and I've stopped being so hard on myself about their early days.

You sound like you have a lot of support around you, and a supportive DH which is a huge step in the right direction, and you also have all of us here, especially fellow twin mummies, to rant at and bounce ideas off. You'll be a great mum!