Stay home mum?

I feel like a spoilt brat posting this but.... I am a stay home mum with two preschoolers - I worked when DS was a baby and was really stressed and he got sick all the time. DD has health issues and the costs of daycare for two is so much it is barely worth working, and we have no local family that could care for the kids if they got sick so I would probably end up having to take loads of days off.

Fundementally I believe it is good for bonding with the children for me to be home with them but I sometimes get really bored and feel like my qualifications are going to waste.   

Does anyone else feel like this or am I just being cranky

I get a bit bored at home too, I only have 1 baby to deal with though and another one on the way. We have different activities to go to every day of the week - without that I think I would go mad hanging around the house all the time! In saying that I would never swap being a SAHM for going back to work, generally I do really enjoy it.

I have also started studying for my masters part time - only 1 paper this semester but makes me use my brain and hopefully when I do finally go back to work I will have a new qualification.

Do you have things in the day to do like, kindy, play centre, plunket coffee groups, library groups, mainly music, friends to go to the park with, a zoo pass if near one & so on?

I found if I had a few days a week filled with things then when we were at home we enjoyed it.

I did correspondence courses to keep the brain going

I also found if I was home I was doing housework non stop. I found a 10min plan & put it into place, it worked good for me & I was able to spend more time with my kids.

If you feel the need to work or keep up with the field you are in are you able to work from home, or in an after hour position or do more training for it....

I have been a fulltime SAHM for 2 1/2 years now (worked pt when DD was a baby from 7 mths) and its only really now I am starting to feel like I need a little bit more. Can't quite figure out what I want to do in terms of work (my old job isn't really going to fit into our family schedule and I want something with school friendly hrs). Have decided that when DD starts school (middle of the year), I might look at putting DS into preschool for 2 mornings a week and maybe do some volunteer work at DD school- figure it would help me be involved in her schooling, meet some new people and give me something different to do.

 

But yes at the moment we are out 3-4 mornings a week (find I need at least 1 morning a week at home to just potter around) during various activities/playdates etc

 

I know what you mean. I have been a stay at home mum for 4 years now (with a 3.5 year old and a 15-month-old), and have gone up and down during that time, from loving it and feeling like there's no place I'd rather be, to feeling very stuck and claustrophobic, and lonely. It depends on the stage they're at, and what my tiredness and hormone levels are like (and, on a day to day basis, whether the sun is shining or not!)

I never expected to be a stay at home mum, as I loved my career and children were just supposed to 'slot' into our lives instead of turn them upside down! But then of course my first born arrived and I wanted to give her everything, and being your typical overachiever I wanted to be the best at what I felt was the most important job I'd had in my life (wish society felt the same!). And I'd seen friends go back to work and rush around and feel guilty and blame whatever went wrong with the kids on their decision to go back to work, and I didn't want that.

I do some freelance editing work (the $ really helps, but sorry Jazzy I resent people's comments that I need this work to 'keep my brain going' ;) - I think that's insulting to SAHMs!) but this is very part-time.

Anyway, I still have the odd bad day but what I have learned so far is that I need to get out of the house at least once a day, even when I don't want to. And you definitely need to cultivate your own interests. I am quite creative, and now I've finished decorating our house I'm getting into making art again, and I love it. I also read a lot, and sometimes National Radio feels like my lifeline

Don't feel like a spoilt brat... being a SAHM is far from easy, especially when you don't have a strong network of friends and family to support you. I'm definitely not a natural at being a SAHM, and it was the difficult choice, putting my career on hold for a while, cutting back our lifestyle - but I'm so pleased I've done it, when I look at the awesome little people I'm growing

scribe I apologise if you have taken offence to my comment it is really hard when you are writing in a forum about what you did & why you did it...I, like you are sharing my experiences & like everyone else's they may not suit everyone..or be worded to everyone satisfaction.

I am a SAHM & have been for many yrs so I am hardly going to maliciously insult one..

Edited by jazzy

scribe wrote: I never expected to be a stay at home mum, as I loved my career and children were just supposed to 'slot' into our lives instead of turn them upside down! But then of course my first born arrived and I wanted to give her everything, and being your typical overachiever I wanted to be the best at what I felt was the most important job I'd had in my life (wish society felt the same!). And I'd seen friends go back to work and rush around and feel guilty and blame whatever went wrong with the kids on their decision to go back to work, and I didn't want that.

I had to look twice to check if I had written this paragraph! YES. I'm in the same boat. We have a lot of things on during the week, but I think it was when I picked up a bit of tutoring that it made me feel like I wasn't wasting my qualifications as much as I was staying at home with my little one. I really thought I'd be back at work from about 3 months - haha.. still at home, but it's the tutoring that's really made me feel like it's ok to be at home (most of the time).

I still find I get a bit bored sometimes tho - but realistically if you're used to really thinking about things/working complex problems through, getting things accomplished and being successful in your own right.. I think it will always be a bit tough going from that environment to one where it's just you and your child(ren).. they're awesome.. but sometimes not very mentally stimulating if you know what I mean.

I think my brain works less now I am back at work So tired all the time, would love to stay at home but at the moment need the $$$ to renovate the house.
But my dreams of being a sahm involved me doing lots of crafts but I found that I never had the time! SOOO disappointing.

hmm sales is very challenging but raising children is a hundred times harder!!

I find it hard not contributing financially, and I loved having my own money etc. I know I am doing the most important job ever, but its very hard to achieve your own goals while raising babes at home. I hate that people assume Im at home simply because I cant get a job!

SO right jazzy , its a choice we make, or sometimes are forced with, and I too can buy whatever I want but I dont now after soo long at home , its definately getting tighter these days..money just dosent go as far

I could go to work, but I cant justify only earning a few bucks after childcare and gas and parking in the city for the hours away from my girls