Home help after having a baby

I'm curious as to what help you've have had, after giving birth, whether first time, 2nd or more. 

 

I visited a friend today who had her 2nd child on the weekend.  Her DH has taken a week off to be at home to help, and her sister has come from out of town to stay til the weekend to help.  Once her sister goes home, her mum will be coming for a week or so to help.  Then her Dh will take another week off to be at home & help.  When my friend had her first child 2.5 yrs ago, her Dh stayed home for a week, then her mum came to stay for 2 weeks afterwards.

 

It got me thinking, as I think my friend is very spoilt to have this help after giving birth.  I'm only envious because I didn't have this after giving birth.  Dh operates his own business and couldn't take time off (he's a tradesman), although was home in the evenings & the weekends.  My mum would come in for a few hours a day to do some housework, and would also cook us dinner for the first 2 weeks after baby was born.  This was a huge help.  Otherwise everything was up to me.  Ideally I would've loved Dh to be home for the first 2 weeks after having baby, and then someone else (probably my mum), to stay for a week.  Having someone there 24/7 would take such a huge load off, and especially when you have your 2nd & 3rd child, it would mean I could just concentrate on myself & the baby, and the other children be taken care of by Dh or my mum.

 

So was I one of the majority who didn't get this help afterwards, or were you all very lucky to have someone home with you to help for the first few weeks?

Yup, DH took 4 weeks off. But it wasn't so much to help as such though that part was a great bonus, it was more so we could both get use to having a child and both form a great bond with Daniel. With #2 we want to do the same

I'm really lucky - DH was home for the first week, which was the week from hell. One sister also flew up on the day we came home from hospital (unplanned, but so was the bad birth experience); the day she left, another sister came up for a week. She leaves tomorrow; then MIL arrives on Sunday for 10 days. Then we'll be on our own. So all up, we've got family with us for the first 3 1/2 weeks post arrival home from hospital; they've done all the cooking and cleaning, lots of comforting when DH and I haven't known what to do or have been in tears, and have generally been a fab support.

Prior to Daniel's arrival, we planned to have 2 weeks home alone together to sort out our routine etc; I can't imagine what would have happened if we hadn't had people here straight away - we just didn't know what hit us - Daniel had not read the books about sleeping and feeding!

Never had any sort of help. After I had Alize on the sunday I was down at school on the Monday afternoon picking up my girls. Life was just back to normal with the four of us. I cooked, cleaned and and went for walks. Its was such a serene (sp?) time compare to now working and having a life on full speed.

Italiah your friend sounds very lucky for all that home help and support.

I was quite lucky and DH took 6 weeks off work when Ella was born. It was great having him at home and he was in charge of doing most of the cooking and doing some of the cleaning, giving me a chance to rest and concentrate on Ella. It also gave him a chance to spend some time bonding with Ella.

When I had Maya Mum came to stay for a week, she left when Maya was 8 days old and then I was on my own. Willie didn't take any time off coz we were barely even speaking at the time.

When I had the gremlins I had nothing. Willie used up all his leave while I was on bedrest during pregnancy and my parents were in Portugal. I got a nanny in when they were 10 days old for 20 hours a week which was partially govt funded due to having twins, but overall I had very little support. I drove myself home from Birthcare even. I think the lack of support is one of the major factors in me ending up with pretty serious PND.

With Chiara I have had so much support it is completely overwhelming. Kels was here the week she was born, then Mum and Dad came the day we were due home from Birthcare and stayed a week, and the plan was for my sister to come in a few weeks time, but Mum ended up coming back this weekend for a funeral. On top of that I have the nanny 20 hours a week (which I guess doesn't count coz I have to pay her lol!), and Maternal Mental Health have been sending in a respite nurse at night 3 nights a week to help out with the gremlins who don't sleep. Plus I have had heaps of friends drop off meals, take the kids out to give me a break etc. Completely overwhelming, and I hope one day to be in a position to repay some of it!

It does make me sad that I didn't have that support after the gremlins tho, how different things might have been...

I've been lucky. DH took a week off both times. Mum then took a week off after & stayed to help. My gran stays with us 4 days a week + to help since Gina was 2 months old. Gosh, makes me feel like I have it easy

LOL don't worry Italiah, I still guilt my mum about it, my m/w came to do a home visit when mum was here last week and she said to mum "do you know that Emma STILL goes on about you going to Portugal" and mum was like "uh huh." Mind you, my m/w wasn't impressed when it happened!

My DH took 3 days off work and I had help from MIL and my SIL and good friend, all popping in once a week for a few hours with shopping etc. 4 weeks on and I have my mum here from Aussie. Its been awesome as she helps with winding Hayley and settling her after Ive fed her. And has cooked evry night too. I'm lucky to have her here for another week too

I'm super super lucky - my other half works from home, and my mum moved in with us when Thomas was born and hasnt left! I honestly dont know what I would have done without her - Matt can be a bit.. whats the right word.. cant think of one right now, but he's not the most helpful person in the whole word eg: baby needs changing and I'm cooking dinner, so he'll say he'll be there in a minute, but I end up doing it because he's got sidetracked lol. Although I have an extra full house now, I wouldnt have it any other way!