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Roksana 
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 Topic: Whats wrong with me?? :(
Posted: 22 July 2008 at 11:35am |
Hi guys,
Some of you most probably dont know this but I had my anatomy scan on Friday....baby was great, moving heaps and sonographer said it all looks great!! So YAY for that!!
The whole time baby had both legs stretched and on top of each other so they couldnt see what I was having, at the end they did a Butt shot and the knees were still together and they couldnt see any "Boy Bits" so they said to me that its hard to say but from that shot it looks like a girl!! I had a look at home again and yes there are no Boy bits on the shot but there are no 3 lines for girl either (Like there was with DD).
My heart sank!! I was kinda dissapointed that it was not a boy! I am carrying like a boy, all symptoms are diff from DD and I always thought I will have a girl first and boy later....
I know DH is dissapointed too but wont show it...he makes jokes like...thank god all three girls can go ourt shooping and leave me alone on a weekend...YAY!!
I love this baby...more that life it self...any one who knows me knows that I would dies for my kids and that I am soo paranoid about my pregnancies as I dont want to loose my babies! I was watching the DVD's and thinking Awwwwww My baby...but at the same time feeling sad that its not what I was expecting! and secretly hoping that the next scan will show a boy!!
I am ssooooo worried that what I am feeling will be passed thru to baby and it will feel unloved because thats not the case at all....and at the same time I cant shake this feeling either!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!! I feel like sh*t mum......but I love this baby and tell baby every day that I do....as I write this I feel like bursting in to tears...but cant as I am ar work!!
WHATS WRONG WITH ME GUYS?? 
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first
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 11:41am |
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*hugs* I think it can take a little while to adjust once you know what you are getting. Don't feel bad that you had preference for a boy, its very natural to want one of each.
I think that given time you'll more than likely get very excited about your babys gender - whatever it is.
Will you be getting another scan a little later on as it was unclear what she was??
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Roksana
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 11:56am |
Yah...I will talk to my MW on Thur and ask to have another scan...may be after 25 weeks! I got told I was having a girl with DD at 28 weeks.
I was gona go back and do a 4D scan any ways at 30weeks...so not sure!!
Thanks for the hugs!! I need it! 
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james
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 11:59am |
awww hun its called disapointment not on the bubs just the sex of the bubs big hugs hun that baby knows you love it 
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EmDee
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 12:10pm |
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DS 8
DD 6
DS 4
DD 2
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Roksana
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 12:29pm |
...thanks guys...you make me wanna cry...*holding back tears*
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noodle
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 12:37pm |
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Bizzy
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 12:38pm |
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aww sweetie... i dont think the baby will know. sometimes it just takes a while for stuff to sink in... but i dont think you should count it out just yet... i took ages to accept that i was having a girl... you're completely normal!
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RBsMama
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 12:56pm |
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 1:03pm |
I was so certain that i was having a girl with Caitlyn (and obviously in this case i was right) and if they had told me at the scan it was a boy, i would have been disappointed .
It doesnt mean your horrible or theres something wrong with you love, it just means your human .
And as Deb said, baby wont know , its hard with these kind of "maybe " scans cos you dont really know what to feel !
big hugs hun , and stop being so hard on your self 
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Daizy
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 1:36pm |
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Natalie_G
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 1:48pm |
Even though I have never been in this situation before there is nothing wrong with you, and bub knows you love it. I think it could also be the not 100% sure on the sex which can be hard.
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emz
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:10pm |
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Aww hun its OK! I feel the same way about being told I'm having another boy, I would be disappointed but doesn't mean I won't love bubs any less.
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Mazzy
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:52pm |
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Yup, you're totally normal. When we found out with DD1 that she was a girl (at the scan) I felt sad that we weren't having a boy - in the same way that I would have felt sad if we'd found out she was a boy and we weren't having a girl. I think it's just as much a sadness about losing that possibility and even grieving for the 'loss' of your little boy that was in your mind. Doesn't mean you won't love and celebrate your little girl, but give yourself time to let go of the idea of a boy.
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Mum to two gorgeous girls!
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fattartsrock
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:56pm |
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I was so angry when I found out Charlotte was a girl, I really didn't want a girl at all, I cried and was a real nasty betch about it.
I also knew that once I had her, it would be fine, and you know what? It was.
Totally normal, chook. Chin up!
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The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:07pm |
i felt exactly the same way when we found out jack was a boy! my pregancy with charli was exactly the same as it was with jack, so i was 100% sure i was having another boy and was really excited about it......then she popped out a girl and i was a little disappointed...until i looked at her 
your feelings are totally normal hun...and don't stress, you'll love that bubba no matter what and once you meet him/her, you'll forget all about these feelings! 
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mrshouse
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:46pm |
hey roksana- i really understand where youre coming from- my scan was different and i came away still not knowing what i have......and like i said b4 stupid scan lady for telling you when you didnt know- and i came away so angry and disappointed- imagine if i was told-oooh maybe its a girl!.............i would feel just as you do im sure......easier said than done but if you "know its a boy" i would just dismiss what the scan lady said....that maybe...........cus really you dont know........im so certain mine is a boy that im trying to prepare myself if its a girl.........so youre not alone..and theres nothing wrong with you............
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SMoody
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:47pm |
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Nothing is wrong with you. Absolutely nothing. And I dont think that you are a bad mom or that you dont love your baby.
I think you are feeling a bit sad for the loss of a dream you had. We all have those moments. Not just when we are moms. For me it was when I realised I am not going to be a dr. Doesnt mean I dont like my life the way it is it just means that you have every right to "mourn" the loss of a dream.
It doesnt take anything away from the baby that you were given. Whether it is a girl or not. It does become a problem if you start obsessing about it but from the little I know you I know that you are a great mom and will be as well. And if it is a girl I bet that in a years time you will look back and realise you were given what you were meant to have and that this paticular soul was meant to be in our family. Regardless of sex.
Hugs
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Roksana
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 4:54pm |
Thanks Guys...you wont believe it but it makes me feel lighter to be able to share my feelings with you all...and have such wonderful post back!
In heart of heart I know that regardless of bubs sex I will love it too death so its all good! I am not worried that after baby is born I will some how love it less...I am just worried that what I am feeling now is going to feed thru to baby and it will think that "mummy didnt really want me as a girl!!" I know it sounds crazy but I really want this dissapointment feeling to goooooo away!! NOW!! 
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busymum
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Posted: 22 July 2008 at 6:13pm |
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Awww don't worry. The fantastic thing is that you have a while to get used to the idea (not just on the birthday!!). When I carried DD2 she carried quite different from DD1 as well, it's a pregnancy to pregnancy thing not necessarily a gender thing.
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Whats wrong with me?? :(
Roksana wrote:
I'm sure its perfectly normal to have some expectations of the sex of your bubs. As you say you won't love bubs any less if it turns out to be a girl. I felt disappointment when I first found out we were having a girl (I was so certain that it was a boy and had that picture in my head). Now she is here I wouldn't change her for the world.
