Green eyed monster is taking over..

Does anyone else find this happens to them when others around them are trying and you can't? We only have 2 and a bit months to go but what got the green eyed monster come out with full force..

Someone I went to school with, who I use to be close friends with but not so much anymore has annouced that she's just going to start trying without telling her man.. yes shes going to be very bad and just not take her pill and not tell him..

So that annoys me but the part that seemed to annoy me more was that she gets to try (even if its totally immoral) before me which is soooo irrational. I should care more about the deception part

@ me lol

I am hearing you. We were waiting to start when SIL announced she was and I was gutted.Same has happened again this time.

It suxs!!!

Also soooo not cool of your friend

I don't remember being jealous of other people trying, but I will confess to secretly hoping they wouldn't be successful before we were. It was gutting when people who started TTC at the same time as us had their babies and we STILL weren't pregnant.
Hang in there Stacey!

I remember when we were TTC Astin - we had been trying for 1 year when my SIL announced that she was accidently pregnant!!! i was wild that she was so stupid but most of all SSSSSOOOOOO JELOUS!!!! that she was getting a baby that she opening said she didnt want when we had been TRYING for so long!!
And i would get jelous and upset when i saw preggy ladies on the street

Not long now Stacey we will be TTC around the same time

After my miscarriage last week we have decided not to try until after I get my next AF. (This might not sound like a big deal but we have been trying almost every cycle for the last 14 months, including immediately after my last miscarriage because I ovulated before I got AF.)

I feel like I am in no-man's land, part of me really wants to keep trying straight away but I remember last time that it was incredibly difficult when I didn't conceive the first cycle and I can't imagine it would have been very easy if I had either.

But yes I am incredibly jealous and bitter and sad when I hear about people getting pregnant who weren't really trying or who get pregnant straight away and have not problems. And it is very painful to see babies and pg women.

I know exactly what you mean.  We've put off TTC for so long and I hate hearing when friends or family get BFP.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them but I wish it was me.

 

When I was TTC Michaela I used to get jealous when I saw women with more than one child - selfish cows  (LOL, even at the time I laughed at myself for being so silly).

 

The worst for me was last year we decided to TTC in December 07 but then in September a friend accidentally got pregnant, her relationship was in tatters (she claimed he was violent) and she needed help so we put off our TTC plans and moved to a more expensive new house so she could live with us and we could help her out (that decision cost us about $8k but at the time we weren't thinking about the cost, we just wanted to help a friend).  5 months later we asked her to leave because she lied to us, broke promises and treated us and our daughter like sh!t, she also spent a lot of her pregnancy making negative comments about the baby and several times said she wants to give it away to it's paternal grandma (so she could carry on her career climbing and party lifestyle).  After we asked her to leave I heard several more lies she told others about us and I no longer even keep in touch with our mutual friends because of her.  It annoys me so much that she now has a baby and we can't even start trying for another couple of months even though we really really really want one and would probably be pregnant now if we hadn't decided to help her.

 

BTW.  That sux about your friend.  I wonder how she'd feel if her man went and got a vasectomy without telling her.

 

Edited by MrsMojo

Hi Stacey
I know just how you feel. My cousin's girlfriend did the same thing (we think!). She was desperate for kids but my cousin was adamant that he didn't want any and she somehow miraculously got pg while on the pill. Now I know it happens but its a bit of a coincidence. And to make it worse she still hasn't filed for divorce from her ex even though her son is now almost 4 which means she has been in a relationship with my cousin for about 6 years.

Now since we have been TTC they have had their second child, my 17yo cousin has given birth, my cousin who just got married in Jan this year gave birth 2 weeks ago, my SIL has had a miscarriage and is now 4 months pg again. Also - no one in my family has ever had trouble conceiving - I know of at least 3 of my cousins who have gotten pg by accident and my mother who also has endo never had any probs conceiving me or my brother. AND my MIL delights in telling me how my FIL only had to take his pants off for her to get pg and how my DH was an accident because she was on the pill and she got the flu and in those days they didn't know taht getting sick meant the pill might not work etc etc.

Plus everyone I met at the start of this journey has already given birth or is pg and now we can't try for the next 2-3 months because of my lap. And my surgeon said we should try for another 6 months after the surgery but because I'm so young (27) I can try for another 12 months if I want (yeah right!!!!!) before moving on to IVF.

I'm thinking not so much with the jealously - although it does rear its ugly head occaisionally - but I'm starting to think there might be some repressed anger in there somewhere!!

Can ya tell?

I used to be alot worse ... when my MIL told me my SIL was pg the first time and when I heard about my cousins - I just cried and thought it was so unfair because my SIL and one of my cousins already had kids and they hadn't been trying very long and we'd already been trying for 6 months or so. I think its worse when you've only been trying a few months . After about 12 months I just became resigned to the fact that it wasn't going to happen without help.

I think what was worse for me in terms of jealousy was the fact that I had been told we had to try for 2 years before we could see a fertility specialist but then reading about other people who were getting help after 6-12 months.

And you're not weird. My LP is normally 10-14 days and I'm currently 12 dpo with no real sign of AF - normally I start having some brown/pink tinged CM a few days before AF but I'm not having it at the moment so all I can think is great - I'm probably pg and will have to cancel my surgery and then I'll probably miscarry or something and have to reschedule the surgery and wait another 2-3 months

I had the opposite problem. My sister couldn't get pregnant and I already had one (after 3 months of TTC). When I got pregnant with our second I felt so guilty and didn't want to tell her the news as it felt like I was rubbing it in her face. Fortunately she was able to adopt before our third.

As for number three I went off the pill without telling DH. We planned the first two to the nth degree and were both adamant our family wasn't complete with two (took over 12 months TTC for number two). So I thought it would be nice to have one surprise. But boy did I have a moment of terror when I found out I was pregnant (happened quickly again) - suddenly had visions of him not really wanting another - thankfully it was as I'd thought and he loved the surprise. Certainly wouldn't recommend doing it though and in hindsight would have been better to discuss going off the pill and then maybe be more relaxed about telling him when I did get pregnant (as in not let on straight away).

Sounds terrible when I see it written down and had forgotten about it until I read this post (thirteen years ago now).

Big hugs to those of you TTC or unable to start - I only had a small dose of having to wait for a baby - so can only imagine the emotions you experience on a longer journey.

hi guys,
Iv been reading this blog as me and my new husband are thinking about having a baby sometime within a year but as we are quite young we are worried how things will turn out/ if we can even get preggers. Iv had an op for endo this year straight after we were married and am on the pill running 3 packets at a time for pain issues that werent fixed etc etc....im just worried I wont be able to cope if we cant....any tips or advice?