Birth Support Person/People

OK so Willie has decided that he isn't going to be at the birth this time round (he wasn't at Maya's either) which sounds awful, but to be honest saves me worrying about who is going to look after the girls while I am giving birth.

But now my problem is who do I have as a support person? I'd be perfectly happy to give birth by myself but I figure I need someone else there to help out with the practical stuff like driving me to Birthcare afterwards etc.

I had a friend at Maya's birth and it was a disaster, she has no kids of her own, I was scared coz it was my first time giving birth, and she pretty much danced around in her own little world saying "you're having a baby" which wasn't much help!

Any tips for deciding who to take?

my mum was going to be with me and DH for jack's birth, until jack decided to stay upside down the whole time!

so i had mum with me when i had charli and also DH.

is there someone you are really close to and feel completely at ease with? someone who you think will stay calm and focus on how to keep you calm too??

Hmmm well if DF didnt want to be there or couldnt, I would have either my mum or my nana(my nana is like a second mum to me). I wouldnt have any of my friends as I think giving birth is a private thing and I really wouldnt want a friend seeing that, even my best friend...she wants to be there, but I dont want her there cos its a very personal thing.
But if you feel comfy with having really close friend there then maybe thats an option?

Edited by Sheza

Like the others have said maybe go with someone you feel really comfortable with who stays nice and calm. They don't need to "watch" the whole process but can just be there to be there to get anything you need...cringe at your pain, cry at the site of the beaufitul bubba and just generally play Mum.

Do you think your Mum would come over from Aus?

I'd pick someone who you know you can rely on, and who can be available at whatever time (eg. someone who can take time of work, can make arrangements for their own child(ren) for when they are with you), who is practical and who will be an actual support!

From my perspective, obviously not having given birth, I think it's a very special time bringing this new life into the world and to have someone there who will always be around in one way or the other (eg. is a friend who will always be a friend - do you know what I mean?) is important.

The other thing is that, if you were happy about it, you *could* do it yourself, and have someone on call for taking you to Birth Care ...?

i had my mum and my best friend and mums best friend deff get someone you turst big hugs

If I couldn't have had DH at Daniels birth I would not have chosen my mother nor a friend. My reasons behind that is that giving birth isn't exactly an easy process and I'd rather have someone there who i know would be strong no matter what so I would go for someone like a doula, who does the whole support person thing. Knows what to expect, who I wouldn't care what that person saw as they aren't close to me etc

Mum will definitely come over (she owes me that much after going to Portugal the week before I had the gremlins!) but she's not comfortable with being at the birth, so I have to respect that.

I'm totally OK with having a friend there, I just want to make sure it's someone who knows what to expect this time, and also someone that won't hold it against me if I tell them to get out of my space lol coz I hate being touched in labour.

Hmmmm, things to think about. Altho found out today that I will likely be induced around 38 weeks so at least with an induction the planning side of things is a bit easier.

oh Emma i would come in with ya - but alas a bit too far to come and lol you would have the baby before I got there - having said that , you don't exactly know me IRL so that would probably be weird for you

I had my mum (and dad) with Josh, My mum, friend and Partner with Brooke - and since Rhyley was a ceasar and I was only allowed one person dh came in. But if RHyley was a natural birth once again i would have my mum and friend (up until the pushing part as i am sure it would be nice just me and dh for that)


I guess it has to be someone you are comfortable with due to them seeing your all and probably at your worst. You want to share also this special moment with a close friend too as its such an amazing thing. As you said someone who knows what its like in labour and not offended if you tell them to p#ss off/fart/sh*t or any other embarrasing things.

AnnC wrote: oh Emma i would come in with ya - but alas a bit too far to come and lol you would have the baby before I got there - having said that , you don't exactly know me IRL so that would probably be weird for you

LOL I've seen Alize's birth

Aimee - Baby is already measuring a week ahead of the dating scan dates, and given that I've had three big for dates babies my midwife thinks earlier might be better than later. I have to have a growth scan at 37 weeks.