Planning Only One Child

I would just not tell anyone, its no-one elses bisuness! People like to comment on everything to do with babies and kids,.... once u have baby u will be hit with tonnes of unhelpful/stupid comments and the usual q's that everyone asks- "Is he/she a good baby?",..."Is he/she sleeping through the night" etc,...they can all be really hurtful and make u think u doing something wrong, but its your family, your choice. Try not to let other people comments bother u!

Everyone assumes we want a girl this time round :sigh: I hate assumptions...

TBH hun I'd just keep your decision to yourself. You may find that you change your minds at some point in the future and other than that, like you said, its nobodies business but yours!

I had severe hyperemesis with DS1 along with other issues like domestic violence which made the whole thing abit of a nightmare but weirdly I still desperately wanted more babies. Enter my now DH after a split with the domestic violence guy and bang I get a BFP pretty much the first time we hook up, promptly followed by a MC. That was kinda the routine for the next couple of years, get a BFP, lose the baby. We ended up with a sticky (DS2) and while I wasn't quite as sick as with DS1 it was still nasty and it was then that I totally went off the idea of having anymore. We had a couple more MCs after DS2 (we're super fertile and have limited contraceptive options) and we're now in double digits with MCs. This bubs was abit of a surprise coz though it took me awhile to get over not having my perfect 4 we'd decided it was just too hard, and while we're super-excited about the baby part of it the pregnancy part still sucks balls and I still cringe at the idea of going through this again. Its perfectly normal I think when you haven't had an easy time of it. I don't know if this helps at all but with how you feel you aren't alone

Don't tell anyone what you're planning, just say you don't know.
I keep getting asked when I'm going to have another one and I just say I don't know, means people tend to not go any further with the conversation which is good. I got sick of people saying you have to another one, it's not fair for ds to be an only child, he'll want a sibling etc. Its none of their business and it doesn't affect them

Don't tell. When they ask (and they always do) just be fob them off. It's a personal thing between you and DH, don't know why everyone thinks that pregnancy (or not) is public property.

Congrats on your pregnancy :-) you guys certainly had a hard road getting your little one, really happy for you :-)

Agree with above, don't tell anyone if it makes you feel that way. It is totally your business and no body elses.

On a different side, if you do tell people, be proud of your decision. I know plenty of only children who are fantastic wonderful people and are super close to their parents (they are my age so not little kids). While they may miss out on experiencing siblings, they have alot of other wonderful opportunities too.

If this is the decision you and your DH have made, good on you. Your daughter will love you and you will be able to shower her with all of your love and attention

It is a natural thing for people to ask "when are you going to have your second" - I know as we have been asked!! And I say just getting over this one at the moment. But truth be told we were only planning on having one.

We were a bit like you it took us 2 years to get pregnant and then like Josica had a traumatic birth and shock as to what was involved with a Newborn and our DS has silent reflux BUT things are starting to get back to normal and I think I am ready to tell people now that we are happy with one and I imagine that I will be giving people some rather horrid looks if they ask why not two.

Hope people stop asking or being offering their opinions on having one child soon. Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy and Evie brings you heaps of joy and happiness.

Edited by Aroha11

We have one beautiful DD and she will be our one and only. I had the perfect pregnancy (no sickness, no fatigue, only gained 8kg), perfect c-section birth (healed beautifully, out of hospital on 3rd day, back driving within 11 days). Actually it wasn't until she was about 2.5 that we decided that our family just felt complete. We feel so content with our family unit that I just wouldn't change the dynamics of it for the world. She is now 4 and life is very balanced, a good mix of family versus social time for us.
Anyway, we must be very lucky with our friends and family, as no one has ever questioned or offered an opinion on our choice to have an only child. I think partly its because we are so confident in our choice. If people ask me whether we are having anymore I always say 'I got the perfect child the first time around, and I feel that our family is complete' and they accept that.

I also think it's really noone else's business but people will still ask anyway.
I'm currently deciding this very thing for myself. I just love my DD sooooooo much and we have got to a point where we are just enjoying life and financially on track etc etc. DD was/is a great baby and I had a great pregnancy bar the SPD which at the end of the day was fine.
I just wonder if having another child will take all of that away IYKWIM.
The last couple of days I have been sick after catching Gastro off my lovely DD and I think if I had another child I would have struggled so so much. My DH is good but he's a bit sh*t at helping when I'm sick as I tend to just get on with it and try and do as much as poss.
I also have had the remarks that DD will miss out on the sibling thing bla bla............well there's no guarantee that siblings are going to get along. In fact my brothers never got along as kids very well always fighting etc etc and cause they were that bit older than me they never played with me all they did was tease the hell out of me. We get on as adults but sometimes its not all cracked as its meant to be.
I know plenty of single children and all of them have good fullfilling lives and lots of friends etc etc. DD will have lots of cousins and she goes to Daycare so if we do decide to be a 1 child family I have no qualms that she will be lonely.
Again on the financial track, I also like that if we want we can give what we want to DD (within reason, I don't want to spoil her too much) and we can give her a great lifestyle where as if we have 2 children we would probably struggle............and what if we had twins next!!!
Decisions, decisions...............    I'll decide next year lol
The funny thing is I reckon its harder to decide to have a second baby than to decide to have one!! We just went for it the first time but this time we are really really thinking about it

I hope everything goes well for you, your husband and bubs. I know it is easy to say but don't listen to what anyone alse has to say unless it is helpful and positive!

We have a 10 year old daughter and I am now blessed to have a 6 month old son. Before we had my son not one person commented negatively on my daughter being an only child, and if they had I would have let them know to where to stick their opinions!

Surround yourself with positive people and as for those who oppse your choice I say kick them to the curb

our girls just turne d1 and we are getting the must be time for number two, i rather be honest and say no more for us and they always pull the she'll be lonely, she'll want a brother or sister rahrahra
tbh me and dp both only want one child we are happy with one not that it is ANY one elses business,
i have no interest in a big family - i enjoyed being preg had a terrible birth and a year later still have a dodgy back from givng birth.

I do often feel like saying we are trying to get them off our backs an dhope they would shut up but we shouldn't have too. its so annoying.