’Hard work’ 9 month old

My 9 month old is lovely and full of personality, but he's hard work because he's very physically active, crawling since 5 months, standing, trying to walk etc and he's into everything. He can also be very temperamental and is a reflux baby so can often have tantrums if he doesn't get what he wants/doesn't want to do something ie go to sleep.

When he was younger I taught him to self settle for sleeping and that was fine for as long as he couldn't roll/stand, he would just talk to himself for a while, grab things, eventually settle to sleep. Once he started being able to do those things he would just always stand up/crawl around/roll if I put him into bed straight from a time of playing. So I have gotten into the habit of sitting with him, rocking him in the chair until I can feel him relax and get sleepy. He goes into his bed awake though, and if he mucks around I rub his back or hair until he settles. He is sleeping through the night now, he has a dummy, but he puts it back in if he wants it. He sleeps well in the day mostly.

So he knows how to self settle, can get himself back to sleep etc and his actual sleeping is no problem, but I'm wondering if the fact I have to cuddle him before he will settle down is going to cause any problems later on. Im not rocking him to sleep, just cuddling him to calm him down as at the beginning he will be wriggling, thrashing around, grabbing my face etc and if I put him in bed in that mood it would be pointless, he wouldn't sleep. Crying it out is not something Im into but also I can't really do it as we live in a place attached to another house and the walls are thin.

So yeah... anyone else had to do this? Advice? Anyone else had a baby/toddler like this in general? I fear I have got some hard work ahead of me in the next few years, hehe he is very clever and determined and so he gets frustrated when he can't/isn't allowed to do something. We very lovingly call him a 'piece of work' lol.

Sounds like bliss to me. A cuddle before bed from Mama would be lovely and relaxing and a perfect way to wind down before going to sleep.
The getting into everything, tantrums etc just sound like normal baby behaviour to me, he is just exploring his world and communicating with you in the only way he knows how.

Yup sounds normal to me. Both my kids are much the same, and we had/have a very relaxing evening routine - warm bath, massage with lights low, everything done quietly (hard with a toddler sometimes though) and then a bottle before bed - I find this has been the best way to relax them, kinda like your cuddles. Also, DD goes into the safety sleep otherwise she gets too worked up moving around the cot.

With keeping him busy during the day, you could come up with some activities that keep him occupied for a bit longer - at the moment my 10 month old DD likes putting things in and out of containers, rippping up paper, and chasing balloons around. So I can set her up with some stuff and it'll keep her busy for 30 min or so. Oh, and DS at the same age loved pulling things out of the dishwasher and watching the washing machine (a front loader).

A cuddle to sleep would be lovely, I don't see the problem you like cuddling him and it if it settles him why worry.

Soon enough he'll be 13 and wont want any cuddles from Mum enjoy it while it works.

We still feed to sleep here @ 19 mnths. Just think how lovely and secure he'll be feeling having his Mummy cuddle him to sleep. And I still cuddle my 3 yo almost to sleep as well. They are little for such a short time , enjoy it!

We ended up putting a couple of stitches through DS1s safety sleep which could be ripped open easily if required but kept it shut through those high maintenance stages where independence was the overriding focus and nothing and nobody could keep him in bed

As for the cuddles I agree with everyone else. You're putting him into bed awake, hes sleeping through the night, as far as I'm concerned you're doing a brilliant job and ticking all the good mummy boxes

If you're worried about the rod for your own back thing, its good to have a backup plan for the nights where you just aren't able to cuddle him, maybe bringing in some other things that can help him wind down somewhat independently of you like a CD playing while you cuddle so it soothes him when you can't or a special nightlight? But yeah thats just an idea to consider, not because you need it, just because its always good to have lots of ideas

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Edited by Babe

I don't see an issue with the cuddling to calm him before bed. He will get to the point where the sleeps get easier. Eventually. It sounds like a nice winddown.

One way to try and relieve the frustration i found was to really try and eliminate having to say no too often. Once i babyproofed the house better i found that we were having less issues cos then whatever he could find he could have.

Relax - sounds like you are doing a great job.

Who doesn't love a cuddle before going to sleep? You have to do what works, and a cuddle is hardly going to do any harm :)

'Piece of work' - I like it! We have one too, he is now 16 months. Don't have any comments re the sleeping, I just thought it was interesting what you wrote about him being hard work as I remember saying exactly the same about our DS. He's still hard work and strong willed and determined and is right into tantrum territory but god he's hilarious!!! Reckon the super personality aspect far outweighs their full on-ness! Anyways, just wanted to let ya know :)