’Hard work’ 9 month old
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Topic: ’Hard work’ 9 month old
Posted By: snugglebug
Subject: ’Hard work’ 9 month old
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 10:06am
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My 9 month old is lovely and full of personality, but he's hard work because he's very physically active, crawling since 5 months, standing, trying to walk etc and he's into everything. He can also be very temperamental and is a reflux baby so can often have tantrums if he doesn't get what he wants/doesn't want to do something ie go to sleep.
When he was younger I taught him to self settle for sleeping and that was fine for as long as he couldn't roll/stand, he would just talk to himself for a while, grab things, eventually settle to sleep. Once he started being able to do those things he would just always stand up/crawl around/roll if I put him into bed straight from a time of playing. So I have gotten into the habit of sitting with him, rocking him in the chair until I can feel him relax and get sleepy. He goes into his bed awake though, and if he mucks around I rub his back or hair until he settles. He is sleeping through the night now, he has a dummy, but he puts it back in if he wants it. He sleeps well in the day mostly. So he knows how to self settle, can get himself back to sleep etc and his actual sleeping is no problem, but I'm wondering if the fact I have to cuddle him before he will settle down is going to cause any problems later on. Im not rocking him to sleep, just cuddling him to calm him down as at the beginning he will be wriggling, thrashing around, grabbing my face etc and if I put him in bed in that mood it would be pointless, he wouldn't sleep. Crying it out is not something Im into but also I can't really do it as we live in a place attached to another house and the walls are thin. So yeah... anyone else had to do this? Advice? Anyone else had a baby/toddler like this in general? I fear I have got some hard work ahead of me in the next few years, hehe he is very clever and determined and so he gets frustrated when he can't/isn't allowed to do something. We very lovingly call him a 'piece of work' lol. ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Danda08
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 11:46am
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It occurred to me reading your post that you giving him a cuddle to get him calm ready for sleep is no different from me putting the toys away and having quiet time reading stories with my girls before they go to bed.
My thoughts are that it's only a problem, if it's an issue for you and if that's case check out The Sleepstore website, they have some no cry sleep solutions as well as verbal reassurance sleep training. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 12:22pm
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Sounds like bliss to me. A cuddle before bed from Mama would be lovely and relaxing and a perfect way to wind down before going to sleep.
The getting into everything, tantrums etc just sound like normal baby behaviour to me, he is just exploring his world and communicating with you in the only way he knows how. -------------  
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 1:44pm
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Like the others have said- cuddling your baby to sleep sounds perfect. HEs sleeping through the night so I see no problem at all! Hes getting the comfort he needs to calm down before bed- awesome!
I bf my 19month old to sleep and this works great for us,...others would say definatly dont let you baby feed to sleep, you will create a rod for your own back, blah blah,....do what works for u! |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 1:54pm
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Yup sounds normal to me. Both my kids are much the same, and we had/have a very relaxing evening routine - warm bath, massage with lights low, everything done quietly (hard with a toddler sometimes though) and then a bottle before bed - I find this has been the best way to relax them, kinda like your cuddles. Also, DD goes into the safety sleep otherwise she gets too worked up moving around the cot.
With keeping him busy during the day, you could come up with some activities that keep him occupied for a bit longer - at the moment my 10 month old DD likes putting things in and out of containers, rippping up paper, and chasing balloons around. So I can set her up with some stuff and it'll keep her busy for 30 min or so. Oh, and DS at the same age loved pulling things out of the dishwasher and watching the washing machine (a front loader). ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 2:48pm
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Hehe, the safe t sleep would be a lifesaver with him standing all the time, but, the cheeky boy knows how to get out of it so it's no longer useful lol.
Yeah, when you read the sleep store etc and other places they say you must put your baby in bed awake so they can settle themselves to sleep, no cuddling/rocking, so that they know how to go to sleep by themselves without your help. Which is all good in theory but I have found it doesn't work with my child, lol. He needs to get in the sleep mode as such. He's been a bit spoiled with cuddles from Mum and Grandma and gotten very attached to them. He is a very independent boy but when he wants to be a baby he wants his cuddles and bottle, hehe. I don't find it a problem at all I just didn't want to be doing something that was going to be a bad habit later or interfere with his going to bed as he gets older. I quite enjoy my cuddles hehe. Thanks for the ideas about what to do with him I will give them a go, I gave him some pots and pans yesterday to bang on kept him busy for a bit and he has gotten very attached to an empty coke bottle to push around lol. ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 5:22pm
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A cuddle to sleep would be lovely, I don't see the problem you like cuddling him and it if it settles him why worry.
Soon enough he'll be 13 and wont want any cuddles from Mum enjoy it while it works. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 6:34pm
Ah, bless, nothing wrong with a cuddle to get him all snuggly and ready for bed. Or at least, I'd have words to say to anyone who told me it was a bad idea  . And I reckon the fact he's sleeping well now is a great sign it's just a lovely bonding time for you two.
Jacob has his tantys too - I kind of figure if you're a baby and you're frustrated, there's not much other option. I just ignore the actual 'tanty' ones, and give him a cuddle if he's genuinely upset (with him, it usually happens most when he's tired). I think it's pretty normal for most babies to feel like a bit of hard work on a regular basis  -------------   
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Posted By: pudgy
Date Posted: 30 August 2011 at 6:44pm
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We still feed to sleep here @ 19 mnths. Just think how lovely and secure he'll be feeling having his Mummy cuddle him to sleep. And I still cuddle my 3 yo almost to sleep as well. They are little for such a short time , enjoy it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 31 August 2011 at 9:31am
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I feed or cuddle my DS to sleep, he loves it, I love it, why change cause someone else has a problem with it? Do what works!
Don't know many 15 year old boys who want a cuddle from mum to go to sleep (but I know plenty of mums who'd love that) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 31 August 2011 at 4:43pm
We ended up putting a couple of stitches through DS1s safety sleep which could be ripped open easily if required but kept it shut through those high maintenance stages where independence was the overriding focus and nothing and nobody could keep him in bed 
As for the cuddles I agree with everyone else. You're putting him into bed awake, hes sleeping through the night, as far as I'm concerned you're doing a brilliant job and ticking all the good mummy boxes
If you're worried about the rod for your own back thing, its good to have a backup plan for the nights where you just aren't able to cuddle him, maybe bringing in some other things that can help him wind down somewhat independently of you like a CD playing while you cuddle so it soothes him when you can't or a special nightlight? But yeah thats just an idea to consider, not because you need it, just because its always good to have lots of ideas -------------   
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 31 August 2011 at 4:52pm
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Double Post -------------
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 31 August 2011 at 4:55pm
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Triple Post -------------
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 31 August 2011 at 8:05pm
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Sounds alot like how my boy was at that age. He has such a personality and is a very active wee thing. I would sit with his on the rocking chair and cuddle him to sleep until he was about 1 year. Then I would tell him it was bed time and he would say good night to everyone and go to bed. I felt at that age he understood what was happening and the transition to the cot was alot easier. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 31 August 2011 at 8:41pm
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I don't see an issue with the cuddling to calm him before bed. He will get to the point where the sleeps get easier. Eventually. It sounds like a nice winddown.
One way to try and relieve the frustration i found was to really try and eliminate having to say no too often. Once i babyproofed the house better i found that we were having less issues cos then whatever he could find he could have. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: buzylizy
Date Posted: 01 September 2011 at 2:21pm
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Strong willed children need strong willed parents. Always keep that in mind when he grows up and challenges you for control.
As far as the cuddles are concerned I don't think it will cause long term damage but I think that from the sound of it you are tired. I would suggest perhaps changing the routine a little. He has to be calm as you said by the time he goes down. Try some lullaby type music while you dress him and dim the lights and make it quiet. Learn how long it takes him to come down from the highs of the day. My son takes around 45 minutes to get to a calm enough state to sleep. We have some calm music and milk...then bath and teeth. Then to his room and again soft music while we get dressed. He walks around in his room but the music always gets him after about 15 minutes and he comes to me for a cuddle. I cuddle him for a minute or so and put him down to sleep. Books make him active and music seems to be all that works in getting him down from the highs. If he needs the dummy te settle at night give it to him. He will show signs at some stage that he is ready to go down without it then yuo do that. In the meantime it will give you a little peace of mind and sanity. My son used to do the thrashing and stuff. This still takes as long but you are not exposed to the kicking etc keeping you calmer and happier. Good luck. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: newme
Date Posted: 01 September 2011 at 2:30pm
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Relax - sounds like you are doing a great job.
Who doesn't love a cuddle before going to sleep? You have to do what works, and a cuddle is hardly going to do any harm :) |
Posted By: CJsays
Date Posted: 13 September 2011 at 9:07pm
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Wriggly jiggly do whatever works for as long as you need to. it works so do it, dont worry about undoing anything later, it will happen naturally, i found that with E. I fed n rocked her to sleep against everyones advice from the beginning, now she can SS herself, but sometimes i still BF and cuddle her to sleep, it really does not matter, sometimes they just need that. i love that you are happy about doing it,give him the love and dont worry about what places liek the sleepstore say, that does not fit every baby, and how wonderful for your baby that you are a mum who will give him the cuddles he needs and not leave him crying to sleep. keep up the love! Dang i sound like a tree hugger ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Speck8
Date Posted: 21 September 2011 at 12:58am
| 'Piece of work' - I like it! We have one too, he is now 16 months. Don't have any comments re the sleeping, I just thought it was interesting what you wrote about him being hard work as I remember saying exactly the same about our DS. He's still hard work and strong willed and determined and is right into tantrum territory but god he's hilarious!!! Reckon the super personality aspect far outweighs their full on-ness! Anyways, just wanted to let ya know :) |
Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 21 September 2011 at 8:15am
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Hehe thanks Speck8, glad to know someone else gets what I mean!! My god he has a temper on him, especially at the moment as he's teething. He is the friendliest, funniest, loveliest baby ever but omg he is such hard work! He is into absolutely everything, will not stay still long enough to be changed, melts down if he doesn't get his own way, never ever stops moving EVER, grabs your face hard and pinches lol but he is hillarious, dances, sings, tries to hang off tables etc he's fun but he really is a piece of work lol we all say it! ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: _Soda_
Date Posted: 28 September 2011 at 9:49am
youre doing great WJ  do what works for you- and if youre both loving the snuggles to sleep- then its obviously the right thing to do! its just like when they are older and you lie int he bed with them and read them a story before bed. hes only 9 months old- enjoy him being your baby for as long as you can!! and especially since hes such a wriggler- enjoy the lovely gentle quiet times as often as you can i say!!! 
and yes- a lot of sites etc say that you shouldnt cuddle to sleep etc, but brainwave trust also say that if you dont deny your child of a cuddle/physical comfort whenever they need it, right up to the age of 3 if necessary you certainly arent doing any harm! and also,looking at it from another perspective- since he is so active all day long, its just making up for the cuddles you might not get in the day since hes so busy exploring his world, so he actually NEEDS that quiet cuddle time with his Mummy ------------- My little miracle 6/1/2011 My angel in Heaven 9/5/14 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: snugglebug
Date Posted: 28 September 2011 at 9:53pm
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Hehe yeah that's true Soda, he seldom ever stops for a cuddle during the day. I sometimes cuddle him for longer at night than I should because I enjoy those rare moments hehe, if I try to cuddle him during the day he will oblige for a few seconds then he's off, or taking off my glasses and pulling my hair hahaha. But when I cuddle him before bed at night he always stays still and snuggles in hehe he has never been a cuddly baby, even from a few weeks old he preferred to be playing on the floor or on his tummy ------------- Me 28, DH 29 DS born 20 Nov 2010 (4 years old) #2 due October 7 http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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