overly attached 3month old - help!

It's probably just a phase. DS tends to go through these little stages every few months but totally comes out the other side his usual self-settling, good sleeping self.
I would just give him what he needs...obviously you...and go with the flow...but I'm sure that's easier said than done with a toddler as well!

He could be going through a growth spurt too and just wants to east 24/7.

That is my ds to a T. And he is still the same now at 18 mnths. I agree with mamat, I don't think babies/children can be too attached.

I suggest getting a sling/wrap/carrier. He will get his fix of mama and yous will be able to o things at the same time.   

He won't take a dummy, he knows it's not the real thing.
If I put him in a moby he goes to sleep eventually, but shortly wakes up demanding his breast back for his mid-nap snack. Then I end up with him suckling for the rest of the nap again.
I need some away time, I think on average I get about 20 min non-baby time per day till DH gets home.

I'm another you cant be too attatched believer. Do you think it would be possible for you to breastfeed in the moby? I feel your pain, i really do - DS self settled from 4ish months til a few weeks ago with no problems. Before that he was just like your DS sounds, except he didnt sleep suckle but did have to sleep on me. I went nuts, sitting on the couch, him sleeping, me mentally tallying the jobs i could be doing if only he were in his cot. Lately he requires cuddling to sleep at all times and we are no co-sleeping as he likes to have me nearby during the night. But i am always being complimented on how happy and content and laid back he is which i put down fully to our attatchment, he has no reason to cry because i'm always there to meet his needs. For us this style of parenting is working fantastically though i understand its not for everyone. I know its probably not the answer you were looking for but i thought i'd add my perspective to everyone elses replie. Good luck

Going against the grain slightly I totally get you needing to not be attached to your wee man 24/7.

Both my girls would only sleep on us (thankfully not suckling) for weeks. While it was so lovely, it got extremely tiring and frustrating. What helped us was getting Natures Sway hammocks and going back to very firm swaddling and dummies. My girls didn't like them either but we perservered and they did the trick.

Have you checked out The Sleepstore website? There is a huge range of sleep info on there for different age & stage babies.

IsaacsMum
Unlike the other mums Im not into attachment parenting.So choose weather you listen to my tips or not.

I believe in a good solid breast/bottle feed. (not snack feeding)good burb, a good cuddle/play/chat/goo/gaa/change and then wrapped into bed awake not to be seen till the next feed.

I love my babies but I love my time and time with my other children too. Its also important to have time for you and DH as a couple and with a baby swinging off you 24/7 this can affect even the most stable of relationships. Not to mention the tired/exhaustion carrying / bf a baby on demand can induce.

I found with my DD she really needed a routine at around 9wks I implemented this and it was amazing, I also implemented a dummy, a dummy with the tiniest newborn teet. try a chemist I found best for this, baby shops seem to have huge dummys. There was rules about the dummy for me. only once I knew she had a good feed/play/cuddle then wrapped into bed with the dummy. she only needed a dummy for 2-3weeks until her sucky reflux thing disappeared and awake to sleep rather than feed to sleep was established. dummy never to be seen again.

Basics in my style routine at 3month stage for a routine is 1 hour up and 2hour down. so feeding 3hourly cycle

As I said its not the attachment parenting theory but a differnt approach to what other mums have suggested above. it sounds like baby on you 24/7 is getting a little draining and you are not a bad mum for saying or feeling this way.

So choose weather you listen to my tips or not Im not offended Im just telling you what worked for me and that was trainig my baby to fall asleep without my boobs or arms.

Bowie wrote: Girls Rock - i swear i am not writing this to get at you, i am genuinely curious - when you put your awake fed changed baby to bed what do they do?

I'm not the OP, but that's how I put Jacob to bed, mostly because it was the only way to get him to sleep (weird baby). If I timed it right, he's talk to himself (usually for five - ten mins, sometimes up to 45 minutes, which really weirded me out, although OB ladies assured me that some babies just do that) and then nod off. If I was a bit out, he'd cry - if I was lucky, he'd grizzle and go to sleep, if I was unlucky he'd howl - and at that point it didn't matter if he was up or down or what, he got in a tizzy, and it was really about waiting it out (although I didn't leave him to cry when he was really little, I just held him while he cried and as soon as he stopped for a moment, put him down again - awake - and crossed fingers and hoped). He used a dummy, and that helped a lot.

ETA that the Nuk dummies were the only ones Jacob would take - he took to them well, so maybe worth a try if you haven't already.

Edited by Hopes

I had a similar problem, but more just wanting to be held than fed to sleep and I found swaddling, white noise and the hammock really helped and some sleeps he still slept on me or in a sling. So maybe try the white noise too?

I had a CD, but I've heard radio static works well too.

Bowie, did you know lots of dummies have a specific age they are recommended for? Maybe it's time he went up to the next size? But yeah, I've noticed the Nuk dummies have much smaller tops too.

Thanks T-rex, he had the 6+ size so i would assume it was alright but you never know. He doesnt have it anymore anyway so a non issue.

I just remembered that DS was suspected of having reflux by plunket - i took him to the family centre to see if they could help me settle him which is another option if its at all possible for you.