I’m wondering

....if people would be so "passionate" (sometimes extreme) in their ideals if it wasn't for baby forums, or forums in general.

I was musing this this arvo after doing some study.

Some of the practises that have labels now days weren't around 7 years ago, well they were around but weren't labelled. I cloth nappied, I extended b/f, I recycled, I feed finger food, I co slept, an numerous other ones, but it's just what we did.

Now that people have a multitude of forums they seem to be able push across their views and I'm wondering does this help by empowering them as their view is getting out there to a pretty captive and some what vulnerable audience at times.

I'm not knocking forums as they've been bloody helpful to me as adult "company" when my DH worked away, they've certainly been more than helpful in sorting out the food "issues" my boy has.

I still do all the same things that I did with my daughter 7 years ago but 2 years ago they all suddenly had labels.

Or is it that they are just better informed, like myself, so they set out to help inform people. People probably think of me as the food freak though.

Kinda goes away from the "Kiwi She'll be right" attitude...which in some cases is good but in other cases makes life difficult.

eta: I wonder if a lot of it has been brought about by Americanisms

Edited by AandCsmum

I just do what feels right to me as a parent and couldn't give a hoot what someone else thought! I have a pretty open mind and while I LOVE the way we do things with Lily, it's not for everyone and I accept that. How someone else parents their child is their business. I would probably only pipe up if I felt they weren't meeting the child's life necessities.

I think we live in a culture where we often (as mums) feel guilty about SOMETHING. Whatever choices we make, we feel like maybe somehow we're not providing the best for our child and could do more or be more or something.

The way I see it is this: everyone is different and what works for them won't work for another. I recently spoke with a woman whose mother and sister criticized her for not enjoying being a SAHM and expected her to stay at home with her kids till they were 15yo!!! She had PND not just because of that but I'm sure it contributed to her guilt for not "enjoying" motherhood the same way they did.

I have strong opinions about things, and after being a nanny for a long time it's wonderful to be able to bring up my son the way I want to according to the values I have. But in my opinion, a good mother is a mother that does her best - whatever her choice for her children it's because she has their best interest at heart. Whatever conclusion she might reach - that's really what matters.

Motherhood seems to be such an important role to us that I think it is easy to be passionate about what we believe to be best. We do need to try and support one another more, judge one another less and realise that the majority of us are doing our best given our circumstances.

That is all slightly off-topic but my 2c.

Edited by nathansmummy

I think there have always been fashions in parenting, the internet's just another platform for sharing them. I know a lady at work who's in my mother's generation said that when she had her daughter, the whole 'silent' birth was all the rage. And the believers of the fashion at the time had their reasons - bringing the baby into the world in a calm, stressless way for the baby, etc... none of which resonates with me, but isn't that the way of it?

In saying that, these forums definitely shape my choices. I wouldn't have heard of some of the baby-carriers out there if it wasn't for threads on here, I would have thought they were limited to the front pack you can buy at the 'general' baby stores. And I love my Manduca!

Hehe, thanks

I definitely think the forums shape some people's decisions, that can be good and bad though. I've seen people buy or do things they otherwise wouldn't because of the 'everyone else is doing it' type attitude.

One thing I remember I was surprised about coming onto this and another forum, was how disposable parenting is today - people doing 5+ HPT's, when they've already had a positive (or testing too early), so many more mothers use disposables than cloth nappies (I was truly shocked at that when I first came on here, as to me they've always been a 'special occasion' nappy lol), but was happy to learn of MCN's as they are so much better than the old flats I used for a while with #1.

Most of the labels I've learnt have been from here, and sometimes when I read something I think about how opinionated people are about other people's choices and I feel like defending even though I really don't need to as I don't know these people IRL (esp the BF v FF debate as I encourage BF but FF both my children) but then I guess that's just forums for you.

Can't speak for others, but I know I was more upfront on here than IRL for a while.

I never knew half the labels till I came here & some seam to make some very competitive & think there are no other ways or none as good.

I never changed my parenting from my 10yr old to my 5yrs old...it worked for DS1, 2 & 3 so no reason to change.

There are a couple of things I am totally for & don't get when other parents chose not to do them & then justify whey they don't. I don't care who used what kind of nappy or how & what they feed as at the end of the day baby is feed & changed. We never had the cute cloth nappies when I had DS1 but if I had another today I would still do the same I did for him & used disposables...that's my choice & preference.

I never knew about chemical pregnancy till I came here, but I am not surprised due to early testing. I never tested till I was late & never knew I was pg till 6+ weeks so I think the earlier you test the harder it is & if AF arrives on time to me it is normal..& would rather not know prior.

kebakat wrote: What I seem to find funny about forums is how passionate some people get over a particular topic or choice or whatever which is fine for them but that no one really cares how you raised your baby once they get to kindy age. I love it once they get to kindy age, no one gives a sh*t if you BF or FF or what car seat you use so long as they are in one of some description or whether you jar fed or did BLW or cloth nappies vs sposies. I think forums can put unnessary pressure on people who just want to be good parents but who are bombarded with opinions galore.

Exactly what I was going to say!!!

I sometimes wish I never joined a forum, for this reason, but I know Im a damn good mum, I do what works for my family and I have two healthy happy kids! You cant tell which of my kids was BF and which wasnt etc

Edited by Sheza

Funnily enough, people pushing their parenting styles on forums like this (no matter how strongly they feel about them) don't tend to make me feel bad... if I think what they're doing is better than me, I'll change what I'm doing. If I think what I'm doing is better, I'm happy to continue doing things my way.

I don't like it when people rubbish other people's opinions, though. I think that's just unnecessary.