Competitive Family Members

Hi all, Thanks for having me on the website. Hopefully you can help me with some tips. I have a very competitive family member who has a baby only 7weeks younger than mine. She makes very nasty comments and wants her child to be first at everything. Shes not the sort of person whom you can just ask not to do it anymore. It is very upsetting for me as I am a first time mother and she has had more than one. Any great ideas to deal with this??? I can no longer 'just ignore' her.

Hi, welcome to OB. I do have a competitve brother who's #1 is 7wks older than my #2, fortunately though it is all done in jest and we give eachother a bit of ribbing.

By the sounds of it there isn't much you can do if she isn't going to stop or be nicer if you ask. Other than ignoring her can you limit the time spent with her? Can someone else in the family talk to her about stopping her nasty comments or 'stick up' for you when she does say something. Are the babies the same gender? If not then maybe you could remind her that the different genders develop at different rates and stages.

I am sorry that I haven't been much help but I didn't want to read and run. It can be very hard being a first time mum and not knowing what to expect at each changing stage. I remember too that Jack seemed to be behind all his coffee group friends with most development stages except cutting teeth, it was very hard dealing with being slower at developing even though it evens out in the end.

and I hope you manage to find a solution

Sounds like a twit. I'd probably just do my best to avoid her if I were you. I'd really be biting my tongue not to make snide comments back!

Try not to take to heart what she says too much. She sounds poisonous and I'm willing to bet you're not the only person who's noticed!

babies will do things in their own time by the time children are around 2-3 years of age they are pretty much at the same level.

my daughter was the last baby in my antenatal group to walk but now at 3 years of age (unless you ask the parents) you would not have any idea who walked at 10 months and who walked at 15 months.

I don't have any suggestions for dealing with her I'm afraid other than just to remind yourself that it does sound like she is a jealous and insecure person.

I've got prem twins so they are behind most other babies the same age with lots of stuff (twins are usually slower to reach milestones anyway and add to it being 6 weeks prem). I'm quite happy about it to be honest cos it means I get to enjoy my babies being babies for longer and can put off having to baby proof everything

One thing you could try is to get in first in a gently ironic sort of way. Comment in a suitably amazed fashion at how well her baby is doing, or growing, or looking, or how thin/gorgeous she herself is looking . If you go over the top enough with fulsome praise she 'might' start to get the hint (unless she is incredibly insensitive or just plain poisonous, as you said.) Anyway, you can have a bit of a secret laugh poking fun at her pretensions, and for her there's not much challenge in needling someone who agrees with what she says or says it first!

Good luck!

Edited by kandk

Urgh i have a sister exactly the same.... Her 2 children have always done everything before any of ours although i dont call being toilet trained just not wearing nappies and peeing everwhere but she carried a potty around in her nappy bag to pull out when ever he started so she could catch some and say he was toilet trained.....screws loose ???? i think so! She was actually angry when E walked at 11 months and said we must have been making her do it ????!!!!!

Anyway basicaly I have very little contact with her (unless she wants something then she constantly rings) and at family things i just stear clear of her. Not sure if that is much help sorry.

oh and if she calls that toilet trained Id hate to see what happens at kindy or when they go to school?????

lilfatty wrote: Just tell her at least your kid is better looking ;)

Hahaha, love it

Hello Ladies,
Dinner went really really well, until.... DP decided now would be a great time to say that we are trying for #2 already... we got told that its going be too hard for us with 2 under 2 and that I wont cope at home with them. Ill be too stressed to care what im eating and that I wont lose weight. Now Im NOT pregnant yet but I DO NOT want to share my good news with her when it does happen until the very last minute I can. ARGHHHH she also tells me in the most horrible tone that they were talking about having another now aswell!!!! I give up... I nearly walked out. I wanted to tell her exactly what I thought of her. DDP (darling darling partner) decided at that moment I needed to go get ice cream with him, bless his heart, and that cooled me down. But if it happens again I really wont be able to hold back, she will be told in a polite manner that she needs to SHUT UP! thank you for all your advise ladies, I did try